YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2016.10.29

An American Airlines jet caught fire on the runway, and an engine on the right-side blew up, sending debris a half mile away, and sending passengers away in a panic. CNN spoke to three sources that said there was apparently some kind of problem on takeoff.

CNN, the news station that watches a video of a plane catching fire on takeoff and still needs to ask, “Was the plane on the runway? Was it on fire? I see the engine on the right side on the fire, was it the engine on the right side that was on fire?”

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Phil Collins has been in the news lately, doing interviews talking about his career up to date. He told some reporters that he thought about quitting Genesis to join The Who and also thought about joining yes. He said, “I think I would have done the job very well. I was just a cheap slut.”

Asked for comment, each of Phil Collin’s five children said, “Ew, Slut, Ew, Dad!”

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Did you hear, the Cleveland Indians are in the World Series this year, against the Chicago Cubs? The Cleveland Indians are up 2-1 in the World Series this year so far after last night’s game.

Meanwhile, the Sioux Indians protesting at the Dakota Access PIpeline are still batting 0 for 100 in their effort to protect water rights and get absolutely anyone to cover their story.

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