YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2016.11.04

Recently, investigators looking into the 2014 crash of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 reported that new satellite data revealed the plane was out of control when it crashed. Their new report revealed the crashing airplane was travelling very fast when it hit the water.

The investigators had no comment when asked whether the satellite data also revealed if water was wet.

———

Prospective First Lady and Perpetual Trump Victim, I mean, Trump spouse Melania Trump has said that ending social media bullying would be her primary focus as first lady in a recent press conference.

When asked for a comment, Donald Trump was tweeting about how Mexican people should be jailed for being rapists because they eat babies.

———

At the same Press Conference, Melania Trump also noted that her husband is someone who’s in touch with America’s white working class. “Every time my husband learned of a factory closing in Ohio or North Carolina or Pennsylvania, I could see him get very upset.”

When asked for a comment, Donald Trump was tweeting about how awful it was that he didn’t get a better price out of the Chinese and Mexican factories he was using to supply his hotels.

———

Advertisements