YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2016.11.13

Boy, Trump is in the news a lot these days. What will he do, what won’t he do, what won’t he do that he said he would do. That happens when you get elected President. House Speaker Paul Ryan was on the news talking about Trump’s ‘will he or won’t he’ campaign promises, specifically talking about Trump’s plan to form a deportation force to round-up and deport undocumented immigrants.

Ryan told CNN, “We are not planning on erecting a deportation force. Donald Trump’s not planning on that.”

In an interview to air on CBS tonight, Trump said that a deportation force won’t be his focus, to deport all 11 million undocumented immigrants, but instead the focus will be on undocumented immigrants who have committed crimes.

In related news, a spokesperson said that any mass-deportation force will instead be called the, “not what our focus is,” force. Hope that clears things up.

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Bruce Springsteen recently broke down on the side of the highway in New Jersey while riding his motorcycle. But lucky for Bruce, a group of bikers saw him on the side of the road, and came to his aid! One of them said, “Bikers gotta stick together, I stopped to see if he needed help, and it was Bruce.”

In related news, Springsteen just released a new single, “Stranded on the Highway!” The opening lyric is, “Stranded on the highway, being Bruce didn’t matter, then the bikers came to that day, they said Bikers gotta stick together!”

Do you get it? Because Bruce Springsteen writes these working class anthems taken from real life? So, he’d write a song like that because the bikers helped him. Yeah. Okay. Moving on.

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Speaking of Facebook, founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg has said Facebook will do more to tackle fake news in the coming year, and hopes to announce measure to tackle fake stories “soon”.

Could this mean Facebook will begin a program to thoughtpolice your timeline by spiking your water to control your mind? Click here to find out!

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Be well my Mashed Potatoes!

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