YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2016.11.20

President-elect Donald “twitter feud” Trump told reporters he may live part-time in the White House and New York after he takes office. But it turns out his wife Melania and 10-year-old son Barron won’t be moving in any time soon, choosing instead to live in New York while Barron finishes school. It seems they aren’t sure that now is the right time to move in.

When asked for a quote, the rest of planet Earth agreed that it’s definitely not the right time for the Trumps to move into the White House.

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Speaking of Twitter, President-elect Donald Trump said on Sunday he was considering retired Marine General James Mattis to serve as his secretary of defense. “General James “Mad Dog” Mattis, who is being considered for Secretary of Defense, was very impressive yesterday. A true General’s General!” Trump tweeted.

Mattis was quoted on February 3, 2005 in reference to the Afghanistan War that, “It’s fun to shoot some people.”

Later this week, Trump is reportedly interviewing Skeletor, The Lord Humongus, and Hannibal Lechter for the job.

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Fijian Prime Minister and future head of the UN global climate talks Frank Bainimarama has appealed for Donald Trump to save Pacific islands from the impacts of global warming. Mr Bainimarama said that climate change was not a hoax, as US President-elect Donald Trump has claimed. Mr Trump has promised to pull the US out of the Paris Climate Agreement and scrap all payments for UN global warming projects.

“I again appeal to the President-elect of the US Donald Trump to show leadership on this issue by abandoning his position that man-made climate change is a hoax,” said Mr Bainimarama.

In response, Trump tweeted, “I watched parts of @nbcsnl Saturday Night Live last night. It is a totally one-sided, biased show – nothing funny at all. Equal time for us?”

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Somedays, it feels like we’re living in Season 38 of some long-running TV show that just got a new producer who wants to ‘shake things up.’ Here’s hoping we avoid cancellation!

Be well my mashed potatoes!

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