YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.29 HIATUS

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA ON HIATUS

I’m going on hiatus from this for a few weeks. I’ve volunteered to do some writing online, a little coordinating, and also to make a lot of phone calls. I’m hopeful that little old me isn’t much needed, and that this stupid Muslim ban and a few other things are swiftly dealt with.

Trump isn’t unfortunately going to go away quickly in relative human terms. I think it’s possible to neuter him in political terms quickly, which means, within the next two years. But to get there, we have a lot of work to do. And a lot of people are going to get hurt along the way, unfortunately.

I also have to figure out how to get this thing to publish consistently; it looks like the tool I was using to publish isn’t working that great. But, I’m going to deal with finding a new tool and this writing a little later.

Please donate whatever time you can, whatever money you can … if you’re a lawyer, please consider offering legal aid to immigrants right now. And please call your Congress person. Everyone has one. We all have one Congressperson, and 2 Senators. The calls matter. They listen.

This will come back in a few weeks!

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.28

Human dumpster fire Donald Трамп signed an executive order banning Muslims from 7 countries from entering the United States, in an apparent attempt to keep at least one of his campaign promises.

Organizers spontaneously rallied at airports around the country, including at JFK, to voice their dissent. Among the organizers were lawyers to help people trapped at the airport, including people who had already been granted approval to come to the United States. Witnesses, including me, saw children being placed in handcuffs.

Reports say that Трамп is saying it’s not a Muslim ban, but that every time he says that he winks, which means, yes, this is an attempt at a Muslim ban.

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Less than 24 hours after Трамп signed an executive order banning Muslims from seven predominantly Muslim countries from entering the United States, the impact was already resonating at airports around the world. Chaos has erupted across the United States and at airports around the world, as people are confused about who is and isn’t allowed to come into the country, and about the very legality of the Executive Order itself.

Rumors say that Sean Spicer is planning to appear at a press conference soon and say, “Everything’s fine, nothing is going wrong, we’re a well-oiled machine around here,” over and over again to reporter’s questions.

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Meanwhile, in British news, actor Sir John Hurt has died at the age of 77. Hurt, known for his roles in Alien, the Elephant Man, Doctor Who and countless stage and screen appearances had pancreatic cancer.

Other old person unfortunately still alive: Donald Трамп.

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Yeesh, that’s pretty dark! I don’t really want Трамп to die.

I’m actually hopeful he lives long enough to see the inside of a prison cell.

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.27

Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп is seeking a tax on goods imported from Mexico to pay for his border wall, as a way to get Mexico to pay for his wall.

When someone pointed out that taxing imports from Mexico means that U.S. citizens and companies buying from Mexico are technically paying for the wall, Трамп reportedly said, “Well, we’ll just deport all of those folks afterwards to Mexico, then they’ll technically be Mexican citizens, I win, and by the way, if you buy at Taco Bell, that counts folks, that absolutely counts. Buy one of my hats, folks.”

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A recent survey found that 36% of American voters approve of Трамп’s performance in his first week as President, while 44% say they disapprove.

The remaining 20% are on the ground, in the fetal position, saying, “He’s really President He’s really President He’s really President,” over and over and couldn’t select an answer on the phone to indicate their opinion.

In a related story, 36% of American voters regularly huff gasoline for fun.

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Members of the LGBTQ community are unsure of employment protections in the new regime of Donald Трамп. In July 2014, President Barack Obama signed Executive Order 13672 prohibiting federal contractors from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. Obama’s action amended Lyndon Johnson’s executive order (EO) from 1965, which barred discrimination on the basis of race and sex, color, religion and national origin.

Трамп promised on the campaign trail that he will continue to protect LGBTQ rights.

So, there’s your answer folks! Better lawyer up.

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http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38764079

http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/27/politics/trump-approval-rating-quinnipiac-poll/

http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/future-uncertain-lgbtq-employment-protections-n712936

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.26

Scientists who are members of the non-profit Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists moved the hands of their Doomsday Clock to two-and-a-half minutes from midnight, the closest it’s been to the apocalypse since 1953.

“Never before has the Bulletin decided to advance the clock largely because of the statements of a single person. But when that person is the new president of the United States, his words matter,” David Titley and Lawrence M. Krauss of the Bulletin wrote in an New York Times op-ed.

White House aides were asked by popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп who the person was that the, “nerds in the New York Times,” were talking about. The Aides reportedly quipped, “Barack Obama,” which eased Трамп’s mind enough to let him watch Matlock in the West Wing until he fell asleep.

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Actor Shia LaBeouf was charged with misdemeanor assault after LaBeouf pulled on the scarf of an apparent anti-Trump protestor and scratching the man’s face. The actor was arrested shortly after by the NYPD.

Sources on the scene said the NYPD car LaBeouf was put into quickly transformed into a robot than ran away. LaBeouf and the Transformer are reportedly at large somewhere in New Jersey.

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President of Mexico Enrique Pena Nieto said in a televised address to his nation that, “Mexico won’t pay for any wall.”

In response, Donald Трамп reportedly said, “it would be better to cancel” an upcoming January 31st meeting with Mexico if they won’t pay for it.

Reports say Трамп is considering renaming Canada to New Mexico, then asking New Mexico to pay for the wall. Aides have reportedly told Трамп there already is a state called New Mexico, but Трамп insists his plan is sound.

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.25

Republican Representative and stock Warner Brothers cartoon character Lamar Smith, current chairman of the House Science, Space and Technology Committee, said Americans should get all of their news directly from Donald Трамп  instead of the news media.

“Better to get your news directly from the President. In fact, it might be the only way to get the unvarnished truth.”

Трамп apparently responded by asking people to watch ABC News later that night on Twitter. He said, “I will be interviewed by @DavidMuir tonight at 10 o’clock on @ABC. Will be my first interview from the White House. Enjoy!”

Reports say that Lamar Smith was found twitching on the floor after reading the Tweet and was heard saying, “We should get our news from the President because the news media lies but the President said we should watch the news because he’s going to be on it but he doesn’t lie because we should get our news from the President …”

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Donald Трамп signed an order aimed at building the Wall along the Mexico border and other vaguely defined actions to hurt immigrants in the name of American safety.

“We hear you, we see you and you will never be ignored again,” Трамп said during a photo opportunity at a Department of Homeland Security event after he signed the orders. “You children will not have lost their lives for no reason.”

Aides say Трамп is planning on releasing a new slogan soon, “Making Sense out of Senseless Acts Through Nonsense Make America Great Again The Movie!”

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Greenpeace protesters hung a “RESIST” banner from a 270-foot crane in downtown Washington, D.C.. The banner is visible from the White House.

Reports say that Трамп squinted to see the banner, and kept asking aides, “What’s this Re: SIST memo everyone is talking about? Is SIST some kind of weapon system? Where’s Mike Flynn? Ask him, he’ll know. Or President Bannon. We have to figure out what this SIST system is all about before the Germans bomb Pearl Harbor again!”

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.24

On the campaign trail, Donald Трамп vowed to repeal the measure that prevents immigrants known as DREAMers from being deported, but the federal government is still accepting applications for the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program.

Known as DACA, the program helps undocumented immigrants who were brought to the United States as children get driver’s licenses, enroll in colleges and secure jobs.

When asked about this discrepancy, Press Secretary Sean Spicer said, “Don’t worry, ICE Agents will make sure to round them up, beat them, and deport them in a few weeks.”

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President Donald Трамп signed executive actions to approve the Keystone XL and Dakota Access oil pipelines.The decision to advance the pipelines cast aside efforts by President Barack Obama’s administration to block construction of the two pipelines, while making good on one of Трамп’s campaign promises.

Reports say that activist Susan Sarandon is celebrating the beginning of the pipeline, because the revolution now begins, something something something, and she’s disappointed, and oh heck with you people, she’s headed to buy shoes, shut-up.

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Is anyone else unconvinced that Трамп actually read those executive orders he signed?

Or that he can read?

Anyone?

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.23

Central and south Florida were bracing for violent thunderstorms on Monday as a weather system that has already killed 19 in Georgia and Mississippi headed south.

“There is a pretty good line of thunderstorms going through Miami all the way through the Florida Keys this morning,” Weather Channel meteorologist Kevin Roth told NBC News.

In response, Sean Spicer, the new press secretary for popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, let the press know that it’s actually sunny and 70 degrees down south right now, and that there are no storms. Period.

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Pope Francis has warned against growing populism in Europe, saying such movements could result in the election leaders of like Germany’s Adolf Hitler.

“In times of crisis, we lack judgment, and that is a constant reference for me,” the pontiff said in an in-depth interview with Spanish newspaper El Pais. “The most obvious example of European populism is Germany in 1933. After the crisis of 1930, Germany is broken, it needs to get up, to find its identity, a leader, someone capable of restoring its character, and there is a young man named Adolf Hitler.”

When asked about the situation in America, the Pope rolled his eyes and said, “Those dummies already had their chance!”

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Did you hear the latest about Star Wars? The title for the sequel to “Star Wars The Force Awakens” was just announced. The new movie has the ominous title: The Last Jedi.

No word yet on whether the movie will be released before the impending apocalypse.

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.22

SPECIAL POST WOMEN’S MARCH EDITION

I was struck by the sheer number of people at the Women’s March. The Resistance, if we call it that, is going to be led primarily by women. Here they are, leading the rest of us. There were so many people. The police in Washington D.C. kept talking about how many more people there were today.

But the folks in Washington D.C. weren’t the only ones speaking out.  The bravest ones to me were the ones in small towns in Alabama, Georgia, Kansas, upstate New York, deep in places where they could be threatened for speaking up, and speaking out.

Philosophically, I’m done with the idea of reaching out the Tea Party people and Nazis and their sympathizers who, at best, want to turn a blind eye to suffering and assault, and, at worst, actually want to do the hurting themselves. I saw a few of these guys, today. They seemed hopeful that someone would start a fist fight with them, something they could post on social media, maybe get a GoFundMe campaign out of it. They aren’t interested in peace with these folks. I’d rather win, and then let them reach out after we win.

There are people, alone, surrounded, by people who may want to murder them. As I’m writing this, right now, in a backwoods somewhere is a boy who was born a girl, a girl who was born a boy, a person born the wrong color for their area, a person who wants to love someone of the same sex, and should they be found? They could be murdered, they could be sent to a camp to be ‘converted,’ or worse. That’s happening now. That’s not waiting for Trump and the worst elements of fascism to strike. That’s right now.

Yet, in the face of all of that, in the face of women in real danger for speaking their minds in those small places, so many did it anyway.

That’s been on my mind for weeks, now. I’m glad I went. I got to meet some of those people this weekend. I heard the same thing from the people from the small places, like me. We have to teach the city people these lessons that we already know. That sometimes it’s not about winning an argument or changing someone’s mind, especially since, truly, sometimes it’s impossible. Sometimes it’s about having enough power to keep the people who want to hurt you, your friends, people unlike you, from having the power to do it.

I think we can do it. But only if we keep marching, in our mind’s eye.

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.21

WOMEN’S MARCH SPECIAL EDITION

I’m at the Women’s March today! We left super early. I don’t know how many people will be there, but I hope it’s a lot of folks, at least twice the number of people who went to the inauguration.

Donald Трамп’s taking the weekend off, and from his view, he starts the job on Monday.

He’s going to be a rubber stamp, until he isn’t. He wants military parades, aggrandizement, and rallies.

If I am wrong in four years, in eight, about what’s happening, what’s coming. Good.

But be cautious around people who think this is normal, or who think this is some kind of event that’s just ‘what happens when one side wins and another loses.’

This is different, with historic precedent in other countries.

Never forget, too, that …
– 3 million more people voted for Clinton than Trump
– The majority of people in America reject Trumpism right now
– it only takes a dedicated base of approximately 3.5% to make a political movement that takes power

That last point is how the Tea Party, a small minority in the U.S., came to wield so much power.

It’s not impossible to fight this. But the biggest value that I would argue our generation needs to drop is our desire to snark at times that demand sincerity. We have to find a new way, that’s about getting involved. About getting into the game, instead of standing on the sidelines and commenting.

So, while it’s kind of fun and cathartic to write dumb jokes about Donald Трамп, I’m looking forward to the day when he’s the punchline in stories about being our worst former President.

Happy Saturday! See you at the march!

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.20

SPECIAL INAUGURATION EDITION!

I watched the preparation for the inauguration this morning, then said, “GAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

Man, that inauguration. Nobody is there. It’s like looking at the crowd for a Beach Boys concert when they get booked into too big of a stadium.

So, that’s today’s report! GAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

And you can quote me on that!

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