YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.09

In nightmare dystopian news, North Korea promises to test launch an intercontinental ballistic missile “at any time.” Tensions in South Korea, Japan, China and everywhere have risen considerably since Kim Jong Un announced in his new year’s message that North Korea was close to testing a nuclear missile capable of hitting the US mainland.

In response, popular-vote loser and soon to be President Donald Trump tweeted that Meryl Streep was a loser and that he totally didn’t make fun of that disabled guy that we can all see him making fun of on video.

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Speaking of lunatics commenting on Meryl Streep, Trump whisperer Kellyanne Conway was on the morning talk shows again this morning and said Dame Streep’s recent Golden Gloves speech sent the wrong message.

“I’m concerned that somebody with a platform like Meryl Streep is also, I think, inciting people’s worst instincts,” Conway said. “When she won’t get up there and say, ‘I didn’t like it, but let’s try to support him and see where we can find some common ground with him.’ Which he has actually done from moment one. The moment he won, he said I’m going to be president for [all people].”

She’d prefer it if Dame Streep would do like her boss, and simply call Mexican people rapists. I mean, c’mon, normal people keep their audiences calm by leading chants of, “Kill her! Lock her up!”

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Y’know, it’s ten years to do the day that Apple launched the iPhone. Yeah, the first iPhone was revealed at an Apple Keynote event by Steve Jobs January 9th, 2007 at a Macworld, a special Apple tech conference that’s since gone defunct. Remember it? The touch screen, the buttons, the ability to take a call, surf decent looking web pages, and more. Arguably, a lot of the things we do now, even things like Twitter, were helped by the success of the iPhone.  

Yeah, without the iPhone, who knows, maybe Trump wouldn’t be able to tweet?

In a related story, current Apple President Tim Cook has announced plans for a secret ‘iTime Machine’ project to go back and convince Steve Jobs to work on a new kind of toaster instead.

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I was working in New Jersey and saw the Quicktime live stream of Steve Jobs demonstrating the iPhone. A lot of people at the company I worked at thought the iPhone was a flash in the pan, except me and a few other folks.

But then again, at the time, I also thought it was still a good idea to wear sunglasses on top of my head, so I guess everyone can be pretty dumb sometimes.

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