President Barack Obama gave his farewell address to the American people last night, in a resounding speech that brought tears to many of his supporters. Among the words he said was this, “Our Constitution is a remarkable, beautiful gift. But it’s really just a piece of parchment. It has no power on its own. We, the people, give it power. We, the people, give it meaning. With our participation, and with the choices that we make, and the alliances that we forge. Whether or not we stand up for our freedoms. Whether or not we respect and enforce the rule of law. That’s up to us. America is no fragile thing. But the gains of our long journey to freedom are not assured.”

In response to the speech, the universe unlocked a dark crack and dropped a story about popular vote loser and soon to be dictator Donald Trump secretly paying prostitutes to urinate on a bed that Barack and Michelle Obama once slept in while he watched.

But don’t worry, Trump tweeted about it this morning in all caps and said both Russia and a fake news website said it’s not true!


CNN Frida Ghitis recently opined that Trump has become America’s gaslighter in chief. The term comes from the “Gas Light” a play (and a movie) from the 40s about a husband who tries to drive his wife crazy by continually dimming the lights in their house, and then acting like she’s the only one who thinks the room is growing darker. In her view, Trump is our new ‘Gaslighter-in-Chief’ as he darkens the truth in America.

Pfft, anyone with common sense knows that Trump prefers the lights to be way, way up when he’s lying to people!

Popular vote loser and soon to be dictator Donald J Trump held a rambling press-conference earlier today. He took questions from some reporters, and told others that they were simply, “fake news,” and weren’t allowed to ask questions.

Among the questions Trump did answer, sort of, were about the conflicts of interest being President and owning companies that owe hundreds of millions of dollars to foreign nations. Trump produced a stack of business documents in manila folders at the conference, and pointed to them often as he said, “These papers are all just a piece of the many, many companies that are being put into a trust to be run by my two sons

But it turns out turns out reporters aren’t getting access to the business documents. When members of the press went to get to the folders after the conference, they were turned away by Trump’s staff.

Reportedly, the staffers all blocked access to the folders when they realized the folders labeled “Golden Showers Bring Russian Flowers” for some weird reason.


So, I changed the name of this from YOUR DAILY DUMB JOKES to YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA. To be clear, the jokes are still dumb. But, after going back and reading a few months of them, this seemed like a better fit.

Sure glad I took Russian in highschool now, although, I never did learn the Russian word for BS. I think it might be ‘Tрumп.’