YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.13

I have my first ever correction! A few days ago, I posted as the translation of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald J Trump’s name into Russian. This translation was Трuмп.

I forgot that the ‘U’ sound in Russian is more of an A sound. So, it’s not Трuмп, but, Трамп. The full name would be Дональд Трамп. Which, if you were to directly translate it back to English would be ‘Donald Tramp.’

I would like to formally apologize to popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Tramp for the error.

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House Speaker Paul Ryan was asked point-blank Thursday by a woman whose parents brought her to the US as an undocumented immigrant at age 11, and who has remained in the country for 21 years since: “Do you think that I should be deported?”

Ryan replied, “I can see that you love your daughter and you’re a nice person who has a great future ahead of you, and I hope your future’s here … We have to figure out how to fix this, but to do that, people need to have confidence that our laws are being followed, people know who’s coming and going and we need to have a secure border.”

The woman then asked Ryan if he could break down what he said into a simpler, yes no answer about whether he thinks she should be deported.

To which Ryan reportedly replied, “no, but yeah, but no, but yeah. Totally.”

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The U.S. Mint is celebrating its 225th anniversary by minting a commemorative coin which depicts Lady Liberty as an African American.

When asked what she thought about it, Трамп-whisperer and chief minister of propaganda Kellyanne Conway said, “I don’t think it’s fair that Obama got to put his wife on a coin.”

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I’ll strive to spell Дональд Трамп correctly moving forward, although, I think more and more that the more direct translation for Donald Tramp into Russian would be ‘полезный дурак’.

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