YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.16

Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп spent the weekend before Martin Luther King, Jr. day talking about a lot of stuff, including that NATO is Obsolete. In a joint interview with the Times of London and the German publication Bild, Trump said, “I said a long time ago that NATO had problems … it was obsolete, because it was designed many, many years ago.”

A few other things that Trump has, in the past, declared Obsolete are Scottish Windmills that disrupted the sightlines of one of his resorts, and utility poles he was asked to pay for around his Doral golf resort in in Florida.

So, I guess if it works but hurts one of his resorts, it’s obsolete in Trumpworld.

No word yet on which of his casinos is bothered most by U.S. participation in the NATO alliance.

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Did you hear about the woman from Minnesota who’s alergic to her husband? Yeah, twenty-nine-year-old Johanna Watkins from Minnesota can’t kiss her husband Scott, or even spend time in the same room as him, due to Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. MCAS is a rare disorder of the immune system, which makes her allergic to everything about her husband, including his scent.

Other women in Minnesota are suffering from a similar condition that researchers have dubbed MDHVFTAICSHDA, which means, “My Dumbass Husband Voted For Trump And I Can’t Stand His Dumb Ass Anymore.”

The cure for MDHVFTAISCHDA is expected to be available in 2020.

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In recognition of celebrations today of the legacy of the iconic Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп tweeted that we should, “Celebrate Martin Luther King Day and all of the many wonderful things that he stood for. Honor him for being the great man that he was!”

One of those things that King stood for was, “Our only hope today lies in our ability to recapture the revolutionary spirit and go out into a sometimes hostile world declaring eternal hostility to poverty, racism, and militarism.”

No word on whether Donald Трамп realizes King ever said things like that.
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