YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.19

Rep. Elijah Cummings, a frequent critic of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, said Thursday he will not boycott the inauguration on Friday.

“My situation is, I want to be a witness to history,” the Maryland Democrat told CNN’s Chris Cuomo on “New Day.” “My forefathers have worked hard to give me and others these opportunities.”

Sources say that Cummings is also looking forward to being a witness to history on the day that Трамп is impeached over lies his regime has already started telling about their ties to Russia.

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There’s a new press secretary in town, Sean “Sphincter” Spicer. Known mostly as the guy who used to dress up as the Easter Bunny during the term of George W. Bush in the 2000s, Spicer was really nicknamed “Sphincter” in college by his classmates.

Spicer started his new career off with a bald-faced lie, saying about Donald Трамп that, “The president-elect has no conflicts by law. He has gone above and beyond in what he has done to make sure there are no conflicts.”

When asked if he meant Donald Трамп was, “above and beyond the norm for having conflicts of interest and hidden money from Russia,” the incoming press secretary allegedly left the press briefing room in response.

Later reports say he was found hiding in the bushes outside of the White House.

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The links to the real stories!

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