YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.01.23

Central and south Florida were bracing for violent thunderstorms on Monday as a weather system that has already killed 19 in Georgia and Mississippi headed south.

“There is a pretty good line of thunderstorms going through Miami all the way through the Florida Keys this morning,” Weather Channel meteorologist Kevin Roth told NBC News.

In response, Sean Spicer, the new press secretary for popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, let the press know that it’s actually sunny and 70 degrees down south right now, and that there are no storms. Period.

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Pope Francis has warned against growing populism in Europe, saying such movements could result in the election leaders of like Germany’s Adolf Hitler.

“In times of crisis, we lack judgment, and that is a constant reference for me,” the pontiff said in an in-depth interview with Spanish newspaper El Pais. “The most obvious example of European populism is Germany in 1933. After the crisis of 1930, Germany is broken, it needs to get up, to find its identity, a leader, someone capable of restoring its character, and there is a young man named Adolf Hitler.”

When asked about the situation in America, the Pope rolled his eyes and said, “Those dummies already had their chance!”

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Did you hear the latest about Star Wars? The title for the sequel to “Star Wars The Force Awakens” was just announced. The new movie has the ominous title: The Last Jedi.

No word yet on whether the movie will be released before the impending apocalypse.

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