YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.02.13

Did you hear what happened in Germany this weekend? Hamburg Airport briefly closed after dozens were injured by something officials there described as an, “irritant gas.”

Maik Lewerenz, spokesman for the federal police in the northern German city, said that 68 people had experienced eye irritation and breathing difficulties. Rene Schönhardt, spokesman for the Hamburg police, said there was “no evidence” that the incident was a terrorist attack. It turns out that a police pepper spray cannister had exploded into the ventilation system.

One couple at the airport reported that they felt similar systems when they were last in Florida,  after exposure to irritating gas-bag Donald J Trump.

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Speaking of flying, man, something CRAZY happened in Austin, Texas this weekend. A flight for United Airlines was delayed after a pilot started ranting over the plane’s PA system before take-off.

Passengers reported that that the pilot asked people if she should change her uniform and fly as-is, called Hillary Clinton and Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп “a**holes” and claimed that she would soon be a guest on Oprah. The ranting pilot was removed from the plane and another pilot replaced her about two hours later.

In a related story, the Trump regime has just announced that their new head of the FAA is, “Some pilot broad from Austin, Texas, that we heard is just fabulous, absolutely top of her game, and has the right spirit and can-do attitude to be on our team. Have you had the shrimp scampi yet at our Winter White House, Mar-A-Lago?”

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Speaking of the Trump Regime, it appears that Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп may be considering firing National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. It turns out Flynn had contacted Russia’s ambassador about lifting sanctions the outgoing Obama administration slapped on Russia BEFORE Trump was sworn in as President, in violation of a law against private citizens’ engaging in diplomacy. In addition, Flynn and the Trump regime repeatedly lied about it.

Who would have thought that a guy who bragged to The New Yorker about breaking rules and security procedures while in the Army would be the one to break rules and security procedures in a Trump regime?

It’s impossible to see these things coming, folks.

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Holy guacamole, it’s crazy that Flynn lying about talking to Russia is the thing that could do him in, and, not, like PizzaGate. If you don’t know what PizzaGate is, consider yourself lucky! Don’t look it up. Seriously, don’t look it up! You’re looking it up. I warned you. You’re one of those people that, like, if someone says, “don’t do something,” you go and do it, right? Okay, don’t look up, “Puppy Unicorn Bliss,” on Google Images. Don’t do it! DON’T DO IT! I’M BEGGING YOU NOT TO LOOK UP PUPPY UNICORN BLISS ON GOOGLE IMAGES!

 

Anyway, have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/hamburg-airport-briefly-closed-after-dozens-injured-by-unidentified-substance/2017/02/12/7371809c-f129-11e6-a9b0-ecee7ce475fc_story.html?utm_term=.5902598592a4

http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/12/us/united-airlines-flight-delayed/index.html

http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/trump-s-white-house-headed-its-first-shakeup-n720146

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/09/us/flynn-is-said-to-have-talked-to-russians-about-sanctions-before-trump-took-office.html?_r=0

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/the-disruptive-career-of-trumps-national-security-adviser