YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.03.14

A fierce winter storm is pummeling the East Coast of the United States, dumping record levels of snow at an unusual time of year. Elected officials everywhere are working hard to help people deal with the disaster. Except at the White House!

Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп did go to Twitter and talk about a meeting he had with Washington, D.C.’s Mayor and other local elected officials there, but nothing about disaster relief or any pledges of aid for the east coast or anything, because, pff, why would Трамп start doing his job NOW, it’s a snow day!

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Boa Esporte, a Brazilian second division team, have signed goalkeeper Bruno Fernandes de Souza following his release from prison for the murder of his girlfriend and the subsequent feeding of her body to his dogs.

Reportedly, Souza signed with Esporte after turning down a job to the new U.S. envoy for women’s rights. “We just thought he had the right attitude to work in the Трамп White House,” said an anonymous spokesperson.

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Speaking of sociopaths working for popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, Secretary of State Rex “I May Be A Demon Wearing A Human Skin Suit” Tillerson is in the news, over a recent discovery that the former Exxon CEO used the alias ‘Wayne Tracker’ to send and receive information about Climate Change from 2008 through 2015.

If you recall, Donald Трамп himself also had a similar habit, posing as John Miller, John Baron and John Barron on numerous occasions with a variety of journalists from at least 1980-1991. Трамп  would act as a fake source for unsuspecting reporters in order to plant positive media coverage of himself.

White House Sources say that Sean “Sphincter” Spicer is thinking of using the alias, “Stud Manflesh,” because, “All the cool people in the White House use fake names!”

Rumors say that Kellyanne Conway will continue to use her real name, because nobody believes her anyway.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Winter storm live blog: Fierce winds, snow pummel the Northeast
http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/14/us/blizzard-live-blog/index.html

Meeting w/ Washington, D.C. @MayorBowser and Metro GM Paul Wiedefeld about incoming winter storm preparations here in D.C. Everyone be safe!
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/841422186573369345

BRUNO SIGNS FOR BOA ESPORTE AFTER RELEASE FROM PRISON FOR GIRLFRIEND’S MURDER
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2697875-bruno-signs-for-boa-esporte-after-release-from-prison-for-girlfriends-murder?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial

Tillerson Used Email Alias as Exxon CEO to Talk Climate Change
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/tillerson-used-email-alias-exxon-ceo-talk-climate-change-n733201

Donald Trump’s Long, Strange History of Using Fake Names
http://fortune.com/2016/05/18/donald-trump-fake-names/

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