Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп recently obtained security clearance for his daughter, lifestyle Brand Ivanka Трамп. Lifestyle Brand Ivanka Трамп will have no official job at the White House, or job title, but will now have top secret security clearance.
In other news, Irony officially died yesterday. No word yet on whether sarcasm, political satire or earnest clownery will be able to take over Irony’s job of critiquing the Трамп regime.
One of the former campaign managers for popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, Paul Manafort, is again in the news after it was recently revealed that he was being paid $10 million dollars per year to work for Oleg Deripaska, a close friend of Vladimir Putin. Manafort didn’t take a salary when he was Трамп’s campaign manager, because he was being paid by a Russian oligarch, and felt no need to share this information with anyone.
Sources say that when Sean “Spincter” Spicer was asked if this means trouble for the Трамп regime, he pointed out of a window and said, “Look! Seb Gorka just landed on the front lawn in a Hellicarrier with a HYDRA symbol on it!” before fleeing the room.
In real world horror, a police officer was stabbed by an unknown assailant outside of Parliament in London earlier today. Parts of downtown London are closed to traffic, as people on the ground work to control the chaotic scene.
Reports say that the first Internet comment to say, “I bet this means Libtards want to ban knives in America,” took less than 15 seconds after the first stories of this tragedy were posted, followed close behind by, “false flag sheeple?”
No word yet on who will be the first to comment, “This is why we need a Muslim ban.”
There’s so much going on today, if you’re in London and happen to read this dumb thing I write, I hope you’re safe and sound.
And if you’re in the U.S., I hope you have time to call your elected officials and remind them that #TrumpCare is something we don’t need or want now.
Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!
Ivanka Trump to get top security clearance and office, WH official says
Ivanka’s West Wing office is Trump’s latest conflict of interest, ethics experts say
Paul Manafort’s plan to ‘greatly benefit Putin government’
Trump ex-aide Paul Manafort ‘offered to help Putin’
Police officer ‘stabbed at UK Parliament’