YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.03.25

Minutes after House Republicans shelved their bill that was supposed to save the nation’s health care, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп repeated that Obamacare was on the verge of collapse.

“Bad things are going to happen to Obamacare,” said Трамп, calling out the large premium increases and insurer defections that plagued the exchanges this year. “There’s not much you can do about it. It’s not sustainable.”

If you want to understand the context of the above sentence, read it again, but do it in the voice of Tony Soprano, Michael Corelone, or basically any generic gangster voice you can think of.

No word yet on whether Трамп watches episodes of the Sopranos before press conferences.

———

While the rest of his senior staff scrambled to squeeze votes for the flailing Трампcare health care vote that promised to strip health insurance from millions of people and increase costs for everyone else, one person remained notably absent for most of the week: Jared Kushner.

Along with this wife, Ivanka Трамп, Kushner was on vacation until Thursday, skiing with family in the posh Colorado town of Aspen. Paparazzi caught Jared and Ivanka taking leisurely strolls, enjoying ice cream cones with their three kids and winding their way down the slopes. And apparently, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп was angry that Kushner was on vacation.

According to CNN, a source close to the aspiring dictator said, “[Трамп] is upset that his son-in-law and senior adviser was not around during this crucial week.”

Sources say Трамп was on the golf course while staying at Mar-A-Lago when he expressed his displeasure.

———

It was nearly a month ago that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп lied on Twitter and claimed that President Barack Obama had wiretapped Trump tower. And it was just a few days ago that the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Representative Devin Nunes, went to the White House and the Press with information he claimed indicated Трамп’s was true.

It turns out, once again, that this is a lie, Nunes has no information showing that Трамп was wiretapped by U.S. spies, even though he emailed his constituents and asked them for money based on that claim.

Yesterday, Nunes apologized for his claim, saying he doesn’t know whether Трамп or his associates were under surveillance. He isn’t even sure about the source of the information he received; it’s possible that it came from the White House. He also doesn’t have an explaination for why he went to the White House with this information BEFORE presenting it to the House Intelligence Committee, which is conducting an investigation into Трамп’s ties to Russia.

So, to sum up, a guy in charge of a committee investigating Donald Трамп went to Трамп with information that showed Трамп was under surveillance that may have been ‘leaked’ by the regime of Трамп himself, told the press about it before he told the committee he’s in charge of, then had to apologize when he realized he didn’t know what he was talking about.

In response to this, millions of Americans commented, “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGAH!”

When asked if they had faith that Nunes could be expected to do his duty and investigate Трамп thoroughly, those same millions of Americans were split. Half laughed sarcastically and rolled their eyes, while the other half let out a primal scream that’s still going on as of this writing.

No word yet on whether the primal screaming will continue into Monday.

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Because remember, if you were chipping in? You won this week. And if you weren’t? Thank the people who were, because they helped save your health insurance. Who knows, if you got involved, maybe we could do even more.

Saving Obamacare is now up to Trump
http://money.cnn.com/2017/03/24/news/economy/trump-obamacare-collapse/index.html

Trump unhappy Jared Kushner took a powder on the ski slopes as health care bill floundered
http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/24/politics/jared-kushner-aspen-ski-trip-obamacare/index.html

Nunes Backs Down From Assertion Trump Was Monitored
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/nunes-backs-down-assertion-trump-was-monitored-n738151

Intelligence Chair Nunes apologizes for disclosing surveillance information to the White House
https://www.washingtonpost.com/powerpost/house-intelligence-chair-nunes-apologizes-for-how-he-handled-revelations-surrounding-trump-and-his-aides/2017/03/23/344b05e2-0fc8-11e7-9d5a-a83e627dc120_story.html?utm_term=.0ecc604ad290

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