YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.03.30

Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп vowed to fight against Democrats and Republicans in next year’s elections in a new Tweet this morning.

Трамп tweeted, “The Freedom Caucus will hurt the entire Republican agenda if they don’t get on the team, & fast. We must fight them, & Dems, in 2018!”

An anonymous White House staffer said that Трамп plans on getting along with Republicans for the remainder of 2017 on issues they agree on, like, golfing is work, brown people are scary and “The KKK is A-Okay!”

———

Speaking of awful decisions, did you hear the latest thing popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп signed? Yeah, he’s lifted Obama-era rules about offensive airstrikes in Somalia. Basically, the risk that U.S. combat troops will kill civilians in Somalia during efforts to kill terrorists goes up astronomically, now.  

Трамп signed a directive Wednesday declaring Somalia an “area of active hostilities,” where war-zone targeting rules will apply for at least 180 days, the officials said.

An anonymous source said that Трамп lifted the rules because he saw an opportunity to kill more civilians than the Obama administration did, and do it in record time!

No word yet on whether Трамп actually read the document he signed, or on whether Трамп can read.

———

Speaking of horrible things done in our name, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s ICE agents have been quietly rounding up immigrants and jailing them, but are also loudly losing court cases related to immigrant detentions whenever those cases get wide attention. Case in point, Daniel Ramirez Medina, a young father who was one of President Obama’s DREAMers.

The Трамп alleged that Ramirez told ICE agents that he’s a gang member, an affiliation that generally disqualifies undocumented immigrants from gaining DACA protection. Luckily, Ramirez has good lawyers, who explained he is not a gang member, never said he was, and that ICE never had any legal cause to take him to a holding facility where he allegedly made the confession in the first place.

Thank goodness we have ICE out there, arresting law-abiding parents, getting false confessions out of them, continuing the Трамп regime pattern of lying about stuff, then going to court and losing cases because of those lies. I know it makes me feel less stressed every day!

That is sarcasm, by the way. I hate sarcasm, but that was sarcasm. Inside, I’m basically just doing a primal scream from 5.30am – 12.00am. Sometimes later.

Anyway, ICE is an unrestrained military force that’s secretly putting people into prisons and Трамп’s regime thinks that Microwave Ovens are eavesdropping on them. What a 2017!

———

If Трамп and his cronies were a 1980s cartoon, they’d be COBRA. Except, COBRA would be the stars of the show. Kellyanne Conway, CODENAME: LIE MACHINE! Sean Spicer, CODENAME: CAPTAIN MALARKEY! Mike Pence, CODENAME: MAMA’S BOY. Get the whole collection! Fill out your troops with special ICE AGENTS, now with illegal power to imprison! And make sure you get Трамп, CODENAME: DIAPER BOTTOM, with special removable hair and golf club set! Freedom of Assembly no longer required, assault and battery included!

Something like that. Who would he fight? What’s the COBRA in a world where Трамп is G.I. Joe?

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump Spurns Bipartisanship, Vows to ‘Fight’ Fellow Republicans in 2018
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-spurns-bipartisanship-vows-fight-fellow-republicans-2018-n740496

The Freedom Caucus will hurt the entire Republican agenda if they don’t get on the team, & fast. We must fight them, & Dems, in 2018!
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/847435163143454723?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nbcnews.com%2Fpolitics%2Fwhite-house%2Ftrump-spurns-bipartisanship-vows-fight-fellow-republicans-2018-n740496

Trump Said to Ease Combat Rules in Somalia Intended to Protect Civilians
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/30/world/africa/trump-is-said-to-ease-combat-rules-in-somalia-designed-to-protect-civilians.html?_r=0

DREAMer to be released after 6 weeks in ICE custody
http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/29/us/daniel-ramirez-medina-daca-release-ice/

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