YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.01

In a scene seemingly out of the HBO comedy Veep, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп walked out of an Executive Signing ceremony yesterday before signing a single bill. Current Vice-President and Head Vampire Michael Pence had to chase Трамп out of the room with a copy of the Executive orders to be signed. Трамп left the room after being asked questions about Russia by a reporter.

A thoughtful Трамп then decided to resign from the Presidency effective today.

Ha, got you! April Fools! Трамп is still President!
Hah! Yeah. Трамп is still President. Yay.

———

Since the campaign of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп went into full swing in the summer of 2015, the United States has seen a dramatic rise in hate crimes, even as the overall crime rate continues to drop. The surge in hate crimes has led lawmakers in several states, including New York, Connecticut, and Alabama to introduce new legislation to deal with the rise in cemetery desecrations, race-based shootings of people of color by white supremacists, and more.

Faced with the news, and the dawning realization of his role in this rise in white supremacist activity, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп decided to resign from the Presidency effective immediately.

No, just kidding. Трамп, man, Трамп is still President.

———

Speaking of Трамп, did you hear the latest Tweets he made? Трамп went on Twitter to make fun of journalist Chuck Todd, tweeting, “When will Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd and @NBCNews start talking about the Obama SURVEILLANCE SCANDAL and stop with the Fake Trump/Russia story?”

A savvy news media realized this was just Трамп trying to drive headlines again, and stayed focused on stories they thought mattered.

April Fools! Of course this got picked up, but luckily, only by USA Today!

Yes, USA Today, America’s favorite free newspaper to forget about reading while munching on stale donuts at a hotel in the middle of nowhere.

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump walks out before signing executive orders
http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/31/politics/donald-trump-executive-order-signing-walk-out/index.html

Rise in Hate Crimes Spurs States to Enhance Protections
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/rise-hate-crimes-spurs-states-enhance-protections-n738391

Trump calls out ‘sleepy eyes’ Chuck Todd, slams ‘fake news media’
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/04/01/trump-calls-out-sleepy-eyes-chuck-todd-slams-fake-news-media/99903542/

When will Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd and @NBCNews start talking about the Obama SURVEILLANCE SCANDAL and stop with the Fake Trump/Russia story?https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/848153860602507264

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