YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.23

Department of Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly told CNN’s Dana Bash on Sunday that he’s not going after the DREAMers. This is after several DREAMers, including DACA enrollee Juan Manuel Montes was deported from California to his native Mexico despite those protections.

“He told me to secure the Southwest border — all of our borders, and, of course, focusing now on the Southwest border — and to take the worst of those that are in our country illegally, take them — look for them and deport them,” said Kelly to Bash.

Later in the interview, Secretary Kelly began eating a banana in front of Bash and repeatedly said, “I’m not holding a banana, and I’m not eating right now,” between bites.

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Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has achieved a new record in his first 100 days in office, with almost two-thirds of Americans giving him poor marks according to results from a brand-new NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll.

Of those folks, forty-five percent of respondents say Трамп is off to a poor start, with an additional 19 percent saying Трамп is off to, “only a fair start.” 35 percent who think the president’s first three months in office have been either “good” or “great.”

White House aides reportedly told Трамп that a historic 19 percent of Americans think he’s, “fair,” 45 percent think he’s being treated, “poor,” and 35 percent think he’s making America, “great.”

Трамп reportedly rewarded himself with an Ice-Cream Sundae after hearing the news. Aides have maintained that Трамп prefers Ice-Cream Sundaes to Banana Splits because the Sundaes make his hands look bigger.

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North Korea has kidnapped its third American Citizen over the weekend. South Korea’s Yonhap news agency reported that Korean-American Professor Tony Kim was arrested Friday at Pyongyang International Airport as he was attempting to leave the country.

When briefed on the news, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп reportedly said, “Are you sure that guy’s American? I thought Kim was a Chinese guy’s name? The guy, we had a guy in our kitchen once, he made the most BEAUTIFUL General Tso’s chicken, ever. That guy was Kim. Y’know, Kim is also a girl’s name, I’ve known a few Kims. And when I say know, I mean, I KNOW. You know what I mean. That guy right there knows what I mean. Anyway, let’s let China deal with getting that Chinese woman chef out of North Korea.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Sec. Kelly: DHS not targeting ‘dreamers’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/21/politics/trump-dreamers/index.html

Trump tells DREAMers to ‘rest easy’ — but one in Mexico can’t
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/04/21/trump-tells-dreamers-to-rest-easy-responds-to-juan-manuel-montes-case/100757434/

Public Gives Trump Low Marks for First 100 Days: NBC News/WSJ Poll
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/public-gives-trump-low-marks-first-100-days-nbc-news-n749756

North Korea detains U.S. citizen; at least 3rd American being held
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/04/23/nkorea-detains-us-citizen-at-least-3rd-american-being-held/100812526/