YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.25

Ivanka Трамп, daughter of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, defended her father at a women’s panel in Berlin Tuesday after attendees hissed and booed during a discussion on paid leave when she began describing her father as an advocate for women.

“He’s been a tremendous champion of supporting families and enabling them to thrive,” Ivanka Трамп said before the crowd started booing.

White House aides say that planning for a missile strike against Berlin has moved forward in earnest.

Donald Трамп is leaving most of the planning for the German missile strike to his generals, but has taken a personal interest in what kind of cake he wants to eat during the attack.

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Speaking of Nazis and possible Marvel supervillains working in the White House, HYDRA Agent Seb Gorka recently attended a panel on fake news at Georgetown University on Monday.

Gorka took took a few questions about his work at Breitbart and links to a far right Hungarian group with Nazi ties. After five questions, Tazmal said, Gorka stood up and said the rest of the panel should have a chance to speak, then abruptly left. Gorka is a member of Vitezi Rend, an organization the United States Department of State characterizes as an organization, “Under the Direction of the Nazi Government of Germany.”

Eye-witnesses on the scene say that Gorka saw an Avengers Quinjet landing outside of the arena, and hustled it out quickly before, “That dastardly Keptin America and his cronies can foil my deadly plan!”

No word yet on what, exactly, Gorka’s nefarious scheme is ….

BUY THE NEXT ISSUE TO LEARN: THE DEADLY PLAN OF SEB GORKA AND HYDRA!

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In an unusual move, the entire US Senate is being called to the White House for a briefing on North Korea from the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп. The briefing, involving 100 senators as well as Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and Defence Secretary James Mattis, is being held on Wednesday.

A White House journalist reportedly overheard Seb Gorka in a Men’s room monologuing about a “deadly plan.”

Gorka reportedly said, “Yes, soon, the entire US Senate, and my enemies in the regime will all be in one room … and then I will unleash my deadly toxin, which will leave ME to share supreme control with Steve Bannon! HAHAHAHA! Soon, we will (unintelligible).” The rest of the quote was interrupted by a flushing toilet, and the journalist quickly left the Men’s room in fright.

WILL HYDRA AGENT SEB GORKA’S DEADLY PLAN WORK?
WHAT KIND OF CAKE WILL Donald Трамп EAT THIS WEEK?
WILL THE AVENGERS REACH THE WHITE HOUSE IN TIME?

Find out, in the next issue True Believers! EXCELSIOR!
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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

German crowd hisses, boos at Ivanka when she defends her dad
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/25/politics/ivanka-trump-germany-hisses/index.html

Sebastian Gorka, Trump Adviser Linked to Hungarian Right-Wing Group, Abruptly Leaves ‘Fake News’ Panel
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/sebastian-gorka-trump-adviser-linked-hungarian-right-wing-group-abruptly-n750451

9 FAM 302.7
(U) INELIGIBILITY BASED ON HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS – INA 212(A)(2)(G), INA 212(A)(3)(E), INA 212(A)(3)(G)
https://fam.state.gov/fam/09FAM/09FAM030207.html

North Korea nuclear: White House calls Senate to briefing
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-39694640

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