YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.20

A Federal government shut-down is looming unless the Republican Party, who control the House, the Senate, the Presidency, and technically the Supreme Court, can hammer out a funding bill ahead of next week’s deadline.

Based on the current well-oiled machine that is the current GOP, sources are expecting to hear from a Mar-A-Lago Press Conference that the government has shut-down just as popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has decided to launch a war in Haiti.

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Did you hear about Ivanka Трамп? She’s so popular in China, that she’s become a cult figure there according to NBC News. She’s so popular that she already has an online fan club dedicated to “Goddess Ivanka” with thousands of followers.

In related News, Eric Трамп also has an online fan-club in China called, “We Adore Chinless Men.”

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Venezuelan authorities suddenly seized the General Motors plant there, the company confirmed late Wednesday, in a move that broadens the international implications of the country’s political and economic decomposition.

When he was briefed on the news, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп was reported to have said, “Governments can do that kind of a thing? Huh.”

He then spent the next several hours looking at photos of Hilton Hotels.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Government shutdown: What we know so far
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/20/politics/government-shutdown-latest/index.html

Ivanka Trump Has Huge Chinese Fan Club Worshiping ‘Goddess Ivanka’
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/ivanka-trump-has-huge-chinese-fan-club-worshiping-goddess-ivanka-n748296

Venezuela seizes General Motors plant as country’s crisis escalates
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2017/04/20/general-motors-venezuela-plant-seizure/100684954/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.19

A new Gallup poll shows that only 45% of people surveyed trust popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп to keep his promises, a 17% decrease from February.

In a related story, 45% of people surveyed in a recent poll about Donald Трамп apparently huff paint fumes on a regular basis.

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Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп wants to renegotiate the 2015 Iran Nuclear deal, that helped slow progress on Iran’s nuclear weapons program. Трамп has noted displeasure over the deal several times.

White House sources say that Трамп’s displeasure over the deal is that it currently includes no provisions for new Трамп hotels in Tehran, Iran’s capital, at the moment.

No word yet on what kind of hotel Трамп is hoping to build in Iran after the deal is renegotiated.

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The regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has stepped up the deportation of undocumented immigrants who had come to the United States as children and lost their protected status, which had allowed them to stay, federal data provided to USA TODAY shows.

Трамп had indicated in January that deporting DREAMers wasn’t a priority for his administration, which should have been the first sign that deporting DREAMers was something he would do in the first 100 days of his regime.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump credibility takes hit in new poll
http://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2017/04/18/trump-credibility-score-drop-gallup-poll-chalian-ath.cnn

Trump Administration Orders Review of Iran Nuclear Deal Sanctions: Tillerson
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-administration-orders-review-iran-nuclear-deal-sanctions-tillerson-n748116

Trump increases deportations of formerly protected DREAMers
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/04/19/trump-increases-deportations-former-dreamers/100609524/

Trump signals that deporting young immigrants in the U.S. illegally is not an immediate priority
http://www.latimes.com/politics/washington/la-na-trailguide-updates-dreamers-still-allowed-to-apply-for-1485207738-htmlstory.html

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.18

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan was just another aspiring dictator, but, after yesterday’s vote, that’s all changed! Erdogan has now seized far-reaching, largely unchecked powers in Turkey after winning a controversial referendum that grants him far-reaching, largely unchecked powers. A variety of international monitors delivered a harsh verdict on the constitutional changes, and found that opposition campaign media coverage and activities was restricted, and that electoral authority had unfairly changed rules in favor of the Erdogan regime AFTER the polls had opened.

Naturally, this was all good news from the perspective of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, who called the Erdogan on Monday to congratulate his seizure of power.

As a reminder, former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn, who was ousted from his job for lying about contacts he had with the Russian government, recently had to register as a Foreign Agent for his work on behalf of Turkey.

White House regime officials say that Трамп was also planning to congratulate dictator Kim Jong Un’s recent military parade but then they reminded him that we’re getting ready to go to war with North Korea, so, Трамп decided to hold off on that call.
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Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп will sign the so-called “Buy American, Hire American” executive order during a visit to Snap-On Tools in Kenosha, Wis., Tuesday, according to two senior regime officials who briefed reporters on the order Monday.  The order will clamp down on guest worker visas and require agencies to buy more goods and services from U.S. companies and workers.

This order won’t apply to all of the private businesses Трамп still owns, including Mar-A-Lago, which will continue its policy of, “hire foreign workers and abuse them quietly ssh, ssh, Make America Great Again Hastag MAGA!”

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NBC News recently reported on a story that sounds like the IRS will have both increased duties and reduced staff next year, quoting the the National Taxpayer Advocate’s fiscal year 2016 report. The report said, “There is no doubt that the deficiencies in taxpayer service are substantially attributable to a lack of resources.” It detailed the millions of taxpayers who were unable to get a response from the IRS when they called or sent letters, and pointed out that taxpayers have to dig into their pockets to pay for help from an accountant because they couldn’t get assistance from the IRS.

NBC News headlined the story with, “Enjoy Doing Your Taxes This Year, Because Next Year Will Be a Nightmare.”

Pretty sure taxes won’t be our only nightmare next year under the Трамп regime.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump congratulates Erdogan for referendum win
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/18/europe/turkey-referendum-trump-erdogan/index.html

How Did Michael Flynn Ever Get Hired as National Security Adviser?
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/03/flynn-lobbying-disclosure/519249/

Trump to sign ‘Buy American, Hire American’ executive order
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/04/17/trump-sign-buy-american-hire-american-executive-order/100582276/

THE FOREIGN WORKERS OF MAR-A-LAGO
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/03/20/the-foreign-workers-of-mar-a-lago

Enjoy Doing Your Taxes This Year, Because Next Year Will Be a Nightmare
http://www.nbcnews.com/business/taxes/enjoy-doing-your-taxes-year-because-next-year-will-be-n742081

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.17

A deadly bomb attack killed at least 126 people trying to evacuate in busses from a besieged town in Syria, according to Syrian Observatory for Human Rights. The blast struck buses of people leaving their towns as part of a rebel-regime swap.

The regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has been waiting patiently to determine whether the people were killed by Syria, Russia, the United States, or ISIS before condemning their deaths.

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Possible head Vampire Mike Pence made an unannounced visit Monday to the perilous Demilitarized Zone separating North and South Korea, which he called the “frontier of freedom,” as the U.S. determines its next move in the goal to escalate tensions with the hermit kingdom.

You know it’s serious when the President visits a war-zone.

On a related note, there’s still no word yet from the White House on when an official announcement about President Pence taking over for President Bannon will be made.

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Speaking of war with North Korea, the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп administration took a low-key approach to this weekend’s failed missile test in North Korea. A leading theory is that the launch was actually sabotaged by special electronics jamming equipment employed by the U.S. military.

Reportedly, White House staffers put oven mitts on Трамп’s hands to prevent him from Tweeting any state secrets about U.S. military jamming capabilities. A White House aide said that Трамп still plans on telling the regime of Vladimir Putin all about them, however.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Syria: 126 killed as bomb hits buses with evacuees, group says
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/15/middleeast/syria-evacuations-bombing/

Vice President Mike Pence Visits Demilitarized Zone Between Koreas
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/mike-pence-lands-south-korea-after-north-s-failed-missile-n747061

Trump team remains low-key about failed North Korean missile launch
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/04/16/donald-trump-hr-mcmaster-china-north-korea/100542840/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.16

National security adviser Lt. General H.R. McMaster told ABC’s ‘This Week’ that, “The President has made clear that he will not accept the United States and its allies and partners in the region being under threat from this hostile regime with nuclear weapons. And so we’re working together with our allies and partners, and with the Chinese leadership, to develop a range of options.“

When asked if one of the options was de-escalation of the potential conflict, McMaster rolled his eyes and jerked his arm up and down, then said, “No, duh, of course not,” for emphasis.

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Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, while vacationing at his compound Mar-A-Lago, took a break from deciding what dessert will go best with his next missile strike to spend a little time on Twitter again. In response to the millions who took to the streets on Saturday as part of the Tax March, Трамп tweeted, “Someone should look into who paid for the small organized rallies yesterday. The election is over!”

No word yet on whether Трамп was sitting on the toilet when he tweeted that out. So Presidential!

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A stampede broke out at rush hour among crowds of waiting passengers at New York’s Penn Station after false reports of gunfire at the country’s busiest train station.

Amtrak police used a Taser on a man inside Pennsylvania Station late Friday afternoon, sparking chaos and mass hysteria among commuters who thought they heard a gunshot. The man and another individual were taken into custody for disobeying orders, according to the Amtrak Police Department

People on the scene had a wide range of reactions.

“I’m just a tourist, I knew New York City was Dangerous, but not this dangerous,” said a man from Texas who fell down while trying to run.

“When I heard gun, I immediately though, well, that’s New York City for you and started running and shoving everyone I could,” said a woman from Ohio who shoved a child down.

“Amtrak has a police department?” said a New Yorker, casually leaning on a post while tourists ran around him in every direction.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

McMaster: All options on table in regard to North Korea
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/16/politics/hr-mcmaster-north-korea/index.html

Trump bashes tax protesters who want him to release his returns
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/04/16/donald-trump-tax-protests-jamie-raskin-returns/100543810/

Panicked commuters at New York’s Penn Station stampede after false gunfire report
http://abcnews.go.com/US/panicked-commuters-yorks-penn-station-stampede-false-gunfire/story?id=46816869&cid=clicksource_4380645_4_heads_posts_headlines_hed

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.15

CNN’s Paula Newton recently reported on a claim made by the UN that the North Korean embassy in Moscow is a front for illegal activity conducted by Kim Jong-Un. This breaking story today on CNN was first reported by Reuters in 2014. The new UN report outlines elements that the UN originally reported in 2014.

In both reports, the United Nations noted the sophisticated ways, typically used by drug cartels, that North Korea has used its embassies as fronts for illegal weapons sales, in order to circumvent various UN embargoes and sanctions against it.

No word yet on when CNN’s Paula Newton will dig into what illegal activities popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп is using Mar-A-Lago as a front for.

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Speaking of horrific dictators, North Korea is celebrating the 105th birthday of its founder, Kim Il Sung, in its capital Pyongyang. And what better way to celebrate the birthday of a dead dictator than with a missile parade? Kim Il Sung’s grandson, Kim Jong Un, ordered a full military parade in honor of his dictatorial granddaddy. Among the weapons that North Korea paraded through its streets were alleged long-range intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBMs).

In response to the parade, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп demanded to know from aides why Kim Jong Un got to parade missiles and armies through its capital city, but he can’t. Reportedly, aides were able to calm Трамп with a bowl of ice-cream and a belly rub.

No word yet on who pulled the short straw and had to give Трамп the belly rub.

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Speaking of parades, today is the nationwide Tax March! All throughout the United States, including Washington D.C. and at least 150 other cities, people are taking to the streets to put pressure on popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп to release his federal tax returns.

Members of Congress are speaking at the rallies all around the country, including Sen. Ron Wyden, D-Ore., and Reps. Maxine Waters, D-Calif., and Jamie Raskin, D-Md., in Washington, D.C., Rep. Jan Schakowsky, D-Ill., in Chicago and Rep. Ted Lieu, D-Calif., in Los Angeles.

When asked about the Tax March, Donald Trump Jr. rolled his eyes and said, “There’s no WAY Daddy’s ever going to show his tax returns, it’ll show all that Russian money he’s been paying back and stuff,” before Jared ‘The Kush’ Kushner appeared, threw a smoke bomb, then whisked his brother-in-law away.

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It’s Tax March time! By the time this publishes, you may already be out in the streets … and if you aren’t, then, come join us! Find a tax march near you, join one in progress, or if you live in one of those small places somewhere, go into your backyard and parade on your own!

Let’s let the Trump Regime know who’s boss – that’s you, me and folks like us, by the way. The government of the United States of America works for us. No matter what cynical thought you have at that sentence, let me repeat it, the government of the United States of America works for us. We’re the boss. And sometimes, when you’re the boss, you have to hold your employees accountable. That’s partly what today is all about.

Join a march today! http://taxmarch.org/local-marches/

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

CNN’s Paula Newton reports on the UN’s claim that the North Korean embassy in Moscow may be a front for Kim Jong-un’s illegal activity.
http://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2017/04/15/north-korea-embassy-front-paula-newton-pkg.cnn

Front companies, embassies mask North Korean weapons trade: U.N.
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-korea-north-un-idUSBREA2A1X920140312

North Korea Parades New Prototype Long-Range Missiles amid Nuclear Tensions: Experts
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/north-korea-parades-new-prototype-long-range-missiles-amid-nuclear-n746921

Tax Day marches aim to pressure Trump to release his returns
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/04/15/tax-day-marches-aim-pressure-trump-release-his-returns/100497026/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.14

In a move that surprises no one, Florida retiree and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп is on his 7th trip to his private resort Mar-A-Lago. This time, Трамп headed to Florida late on Thursday afternoon, behaving like many white collar workers headed out for the Easter weekend who don’t have the ability to order the U.S. military to kill people.

Трамп’s jaunt to Mar-a-Lago has been made without his usual cadre of aides, and coincides with a closely watched anniversary in North Korea, where analysts have said the rogue regime may be preparing for a sixth nuclear test.

No word yet on what kind of dessert Трамп is planning to eat to go along with his next bombing campaign order from his resort. Sources say that Трамп may be planning to unveil a new dessert called the “Mother Of All Banana Splits” on Easter Sunday.

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As previously noted, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп is in Florida to choose cake to go with his next bombing run, which is looking more and more like North Korea.

The Трамп regime says they’ll launch what U.S. media is calling a “preemptive strike” against North Korea should officials become convinced that North Korea conducts a nuclear weapons test, multiple senior U.S. intelligence officials told NBC News.

When an intern asked a senior producer at NBC News how it logically makes any sense to call a strike preemptive when it occurs after-the-fact, and as punishment for testing nuclear weapons, the senior producer said, “Are you the one who got me the salad without beets? I’m not mad about it, just trying to place your face. But, please, don’t forget the beets. I tell that to everyone. It’s the little things that matter.”

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Wisconsinite Joseph Jakubowski, who mailed a rambling 161-page manifesto to popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп a few weeks ago was arrested early this morning according to law enforcement officials. Jakubowsk has a history of anarchism,and his screed is largely centered around dismantling the government and organized religion according to law enforcement. He was considered armed and dangerous before being arrested this morning.

Meanwhile, Donald Трамп remains at large in Florida.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

As North Korea brews, Trump again in Mar-a-Lago
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/14/politics/donald-trump-north-korea-mar-a-lago/index.html

U.S. May Launch Strike if North Korea Reaches for Nuclear Trigger
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/u-s-may-launch-strike-if-north-korea-reaches-nuclear-n746366

Joseph Jakubowski, manhunt suspect who sent manifesto to Trump, captured in Wisconsin
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/04/14/easter-sunday-threat-wisconsin-churches-joseph-jakubowski-manhunt/100456648/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.13

CNN political commentator Jeffrey Lord recently said that, “President Donald Трамп is the Martin Luther King of health care.”

No word yet on whether Lord was also implying Donald Трамп would be assassinated.

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An 8-year old Ohio boy with a craving for a McDonald’s cheeseburger took his 4-year-old sister for a ride in his dad’s van, which he learned to drive on by watching YouTube. East Palestine police Officer Jacob Koehler told WJW-TV in Cleveland the father went to bed Sunday and the mother fell asleep on the couch with the kids. Witnesses say the boy appeared to obey traffic laws. The kids were picked up by their parents and no charges were filed.

When asked why they were so lenient on the parents and the children, the officer said, “It was just one of those things, y’know?”

In a related story, an 8 year old African-American young man in Ohio, apparently unfed by his parents, stole his parent’s van and drove it to McDonald’s to get something to eat. The The young 8 year old African-American man apparently kidnapped his sister, after the father allegedly fell asleep, and the mother passed out on the couch. Witnesses say the young 8 year old African-American man appeared to obey traffic laws, but given the drama of the situation, they’re unsure if he fully complied with the law. The kids are currently being held until charges can be filed against the entire family.

When asked if why they were so strict on the parents and children, the officer said, “If you don’t want to serve the time, don’t break the law.”

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Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe warned Thursday that North Korea might be capable of firing a missile loaded with sarin nerve gas toward Japan.

Abe, who made the statement at a parliamentary panel on national security, said Pyongyang may already be able to shoot missiles with sarin as warheads, the Associated Press reported.

After being briefed on Abe’s comments, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп allegedly rolled his eyes, sighed, and said, “We already bombed the country with the Sarin gas, I was having cake, I was with some Asian guy when I was eating the cake, how do people in charge of country’s forget these kinds of details so fast? It was the best cake, by the way, multiple chocolate layers. Delicious.”

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Usually, I write this first thing in the morning. Later, I do a quick rewrite/view of it to see if anything is too dark or creepy. There’s good dark and creepy, and there’s bad dark and creepy. Anyway, I’m on Jury Duty this morning, so, probably won’t get a chance to do that quick revision! I don’t mind serving Jury Duty, which means I’m either the worst or best sitcom character, ever. Like, if you have a sitcom character who gets Jury Duty, it’s generally the worst thing to ever happen to them, and they work like crazy to get out of it.

Every once in a while you get a reversal of that, where like a haggard sitcom Mom wants to get away from her family, so she happily serves on a jury as a form of relaxation.

I just wonder, does anyone know the ground zero sitcom that first introduced the idea of, “I must get out of Jury Duty!” I’ve been looking for a few years, and I haven’t found it. Anyway.

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

CNN panelist: Trump is the MLK of health care
http://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2017/04/13/jeffrey-lord-trump-mlk-healthcare-newday.cnn

Boy, 8, Takes Dad’s Van to McDonald’s After Learning to Drive from YouTube Videos
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/boy-8-takes-dad-s-van-mcdonald-s-after-learning-n745936

Japan’s Abe warns North Korea could fire sarin-loaded missile
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/04/13/japans-abe-warns-north-korea-could-fire-sarin-loaded-missile/100408036/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.12

Did you hear the latest? It turns out that in the summer of 2016, The FBI obtained a warrant to monitor Carter Page, a former campaign advisor for popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамp. The FISA warrant was obtained due to suspicions that Page was working for the Russian government. Shortly after Page joined the Трамп campaign in 2016, the Republican Party dramatically reversed course on their foreign policy goals, and vowed to be friendlier to the Russian government.

When asked for a quote on whether there are clear ties between the Трамп regime and Russia, Representative Maxine Waters (D-CA) just gave the reporter who asked side-eye for fifteen minutes, while quietly sipping on her coffee.

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Last week’s U.S. missile strike on a Syrian air base in retaliation for an alleged chemical weapons attack must not be repeated, Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov warned Secretary of State Rex “Big Oil Money” Tillerson on Wednesday, Russian state media reported. The attack on Syria has allegedly cooled an opportunity for Tillerson to meet with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin.  Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters that Putin could meet with Tillerson “if it is decided” that he needs to be briefed on the outcome of upcoming talks.

Senior analysts say that Tillerson and Putin will pretend to be frenemies until Donald Трамp says something dumb enough on Twitter to distract people away from his deep ties to Russia. Then they’ll meet!

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Speaking of Russian control of life in the United States, it looks like Russia’s state-owned oil company Rosneft could end up owning Houston, Texas based oil company Citgo. The U.S. oil company is currently owned by Venezuela’s state-run oil company, which has a substantial loan owed to Russia. The collateral for the loan is Citgo.  

Members of Congress are alarmed, but the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп seems fairly relaxed about the whole affair.

A White House staffer reportedly said, “Hey, our administration is owned by the Russians, and it’s not going so bad!” before Jared “The Kush” Kushner threw a smoke bomb and whisked the staffer away from reporters.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

FBI monitored former Trump campaign adviser Carter Page on Russia
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/12/politics/fbi-carter-page-russia/index.html

With Tillerson in Moscow, will he meet with Putin?https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/04/12/tillerson-meets-russian-counterpart-sergey-lavrov-moscow/100363160/

Russia could soon control a U.S. oil company
http://money.cnn.com/2017/04/10/news/economy/russia-us-oil-company-citgo/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.11

Despite taking action that some media pundits declared, “decisive” and “Presidential” last week against an empty airfield in Syria, the approval ratings for popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп have apparently remained flat. Typically, whenever a President orders military action they get a significant boost in their approval ratings. But continuing his historic Presidency, it looks like leader Трамп is bucking the trend.

On Monday, CBS News found that 43 percent of the country approved of Trump’s job performance, up just 3 points from their previous result of 40 percent. The margin of error for the survey was 4 percentage points, and was attributed to a shift among independents, who rose from 34 percent approval to 42 percent.

A junior White House staffer commented on the trend and the flurry of activity at the White House to address it.

“We need to figure out which wars are going to give us the biggest bump in our approval ratings for the buck, so we’re getting ready to test North Korea, and also will continue ramping up Somalia, Yemen and more. Maybe if we crank this all the way up to a World War, we can hit 46 point approval!” said a White House staffer before Sean Spicer appeared, dropped a smoke bomb, then whisked them out of the room.

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Speaking of making history, it looks like popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп is on track to outspend the entire 8 year travel budget of President Barack Obama. During Obama’s 8 years in office, the President spent $97 million on vacation travel. In his first 11 weeks, Трамп has spent $20 million on weekend vacations to his resort Mar-A-Lago in Florida. That’s an average of nearly $2 million per week so far. If that trend continues, in a year, that could mean Трамп could spend over $100 million JUST on those trips. The best case scenario is that Трамп will take just over a year to outspend Obama.

This doesn’t include extra security for First Lady Ivanka Трамп, pardon, for First Lady Melania Трамп, who refuses to sleep in the same bed as her husband and continues to live in downtown New York City at tax-payer expense. Or on extra-security for White House interns Ivanka Трамп and Jared “The Kush” Kushner.

Reports say Трамп plans to tweet about this excessive spending and blame Obama for it sometime this afternoon.

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Speaking of White House Intern Ivanka Трамп, it sounds like the Syria airstrike last week was her idea, at least according to her brother Eric Трамп. Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трампs decision to bomb Syria was apparently influenced by his daughter Ivanka’s feeling “heartbroken and outraged” at the videos of children murdered in the poison gas attack.

Eric allegedly also complained about his sister saying, “She’s always getting her way by crying. Oh, Daddy, Eric is spying on me, Oh, Daddy, Eric likes to watch me change clothes, Oh, Daddy, Eric keeps trying to take a shower with me make him stop it’s gross! She always cries like that to get her way.”

So, to sum up, Donald Трамп apparently bombed another country to impress his daughter.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

DONALD TRUMP’S APPROVAL RATING RELATIVELY FLAT AFTER SYRIA AIRSTRIKES
http://www.newsweek.com/donald-trumps-latest-approval-rating-rises-slightly-syria-airstrikes-581965

Trump on pace to surpass 8 years of Obama’s travel spending in 1 year
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/10/politics/donald-trump-obama-travel-costs/index.html

Eric Trump Says Syria Strike Was Swayed By ‘Heartbroken’ Ivanka
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/eric-trump-says-syria-strike-was-swayed-heartbroken-ivanka-n745021