YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.10

Tesla has inched ahead of General Motors to become the most valuable car company in America after a rally in the US stock market valued Tesla at $50.84 billion edging past GM (GM) at $50.79 billion. The most valuable car company in the world, Toyota, is worth approximately $160 billion.

In response, the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп is considering a new EPA regulation that would require all electric vehicles be powered by coal-fired ovens by 2019. “It’s the only way to save coal jobs,” a White House insider claimed.

———

Passengers on a United flight from Chicago to Louisville, Ky., were horrified when a fellow passenger who had previously been sitting quietly was pulled out his seat by 3 Chicago police officers while screaming, had his face bashed on an airline headrest, and then was physically dragged down the aisle while blood pooled in the corner of his mouth. The reason? United Airlines needed to clear a seat for airline staff.

On Twitter, United commented that the flight was “overbooked” and that “one customer refused to leave.”

When asked if the customer was still saying no after being knocked out and dragged out of the plane, United had no comment.

In a related story, United has updated their company slogan from “Fly the Friendly Skies” to “It was a bad call, Ripley. It was a bad call.”

That’s a quote from ‘Aliens’ by the way, the 1986 blockbuster sequel to Alien. Burke is this scuzzy corporate guy played by Paul Reiser, and he’s trying to excuse getting 158 people killed. So, I’m saying United is as bad as that. This is in case any folks that were, like, BORN in 1986 are reading this and haven’t seen Aliens.

Moving on …

———

Speaking of United Airlines, NBC News and several other media outlets are reporting that the CEO of United Airlines is apologizing for knocking out a passenger and dragging him off of a plane.

NBC News reported that, “The CEO of United Airlines apologized to customers on Monday following an incident on an overbooked flight where video appeared to show an elderly man being dragged from his seat and through the aisle of a plane.”

And what did United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz actually say? Through a PR agency, Munoz released a statement that read, “This is an upsetting event to all of us here at United. I apologize for having to re-accommodate these customers. Our team is moving with a sense of urgency to work with authorities and conduct our own detailed review of what happened.”

So, it contains the words, “I apologize,” but he’s apparently characterizing having three Chicago Police Officers knock a man out and dragging him off the plane as, “re-accomodation.”

So, an alternate headline for this would read, “Corporation that is paid by United Airlines for advertisements characterizes non-apology as an apology!”

In related news, after hearing about the Chicago incident, the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has decided to characterize the recent missile strike against Syria as a, “re-accommodation of explosives with the ground.”

———

I woke up about 6 hours late today, and was just overwhelmed with news. Like, there’s a lot of awful things unfolding right now. I think it’s important to pay attention to it, but also, to choose what you can change and help with. There’s not necessarily a right answer to that, but, if your answer to that question is, “The only change I can make is by buying coffee with dollar bills,” you gotta, that’s not a good answer. That’s one bad answer to that question. There’s probably more bad answers to that question, but, y’know. Anyway.

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Tesla just became the most valuable carmaker in America
http://money.cnn.com/2017/04/10/investing/tesla-gm-market-cap/index.html

Passenger Forcibly Removed From United Flight, Prompting Outcry
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/04/10/523275494/passenger-forcibly-removed-from-united-flight-prompting-outcry

United Airlines CEO Apologizes After Video Shows Man Dragged Off Flight
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/united-airlines-ceo-apologizes-after-video-shows-man-dragged-flight-n744731

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.09

Here’s a joke! Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

A family goes to see a talent agent, let’s call them Donald, Melania, Donald Jr., Eric, Ivanka, and Jared.

The agent asks what they do. Donald stands up, farts, then gives a speech.

“It was a more innocent time, March of 2017. Saturday Night Live’s ratings were hitting a high-point, thanks to that loser Alec Baldwin doing the worse, THE WORST impression of a President, ever. Loser liberals were making jokes about Microwave Ovens spying on innocent people, which may happen, do we know? Do we really know? And the whole media was focused on fake news about Russia interfering with our elections, when we really know it was illegal immigrants who did that, which is why the smart thing to do was to keep Syrian children out of the country, which is what you do when you have brains.

And that’s why, by the way let me say this, that’s why Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said that we had no intention of changing the regime in Syria. How did he say … Donald Jr., hand me … the paper, NOT THAT ONE, the OTHER ONE, Ivanka, Ivanka, can you … okay, great, yes, let me read this, as Tillerson said,  “(the) longer-term status of President Assad will be decided by the Syrian people.” And then Nikki Haley, she’s great by the way, she got rid of those Confederate Flags in her state that she used to like, but really, what was the big deal about those? I don’t know. But she said, it’s on the same paper here, “Are we going to sit there and focus on getting him out? No.” Because it was smart.

But then, Ivanka saw those pictures of Syrian kids killed in that poison gas attack, that kills children in a city in Syria. And this is different than the kids killed during the President’s raids in Yemen, or those other pictures of dead refugee kids washed up on beaches. Do you know why? It made Ivanka cry, folks, this one made Ivanka cry. So, hey, don’t do that, folks.

So, the President goes to Mar-A-Lago, because they have THE BEST meatloaf, folks, the best, AND THE BEST GOLF COURSES, and, you know, he does the right thing. The President tells Vladimir Putin about the attack he wants to launch, NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE FRIENDS, no, not that, but because, THAT’S WHAT YOU DO. And then, maybe, Putin tells Syria, and maybe the base was evacuated, and maybe most of the missiles didn’t hit, and maybe that was like $60 million spent to launch them, and maybe the same city hit with the chemical weapons attack was hit again, and maybe the airbase is literally back in operation a day later.

But you know what? Suddenly, the fake news stops being so mean to the President, and they call him Presidential, AND HE’S BEEN PRESIDENT THIS WHOLE TIME FOLKS, and hey, the President has been killing in foreign countries for months now, since he took over from the previous failure, but then it took big missiles in the middle of the night to FINALLY GET SOME CREDIT. Ugh. It’s all fake news.

And that’s why our Secretary of State just, said what we were always saying even if it was different just a week ago, that we do now want regime change in Syria, at least until the poll numbers come in.

And meanwhile, does the President get credit for … what’s the word Jared … not that word … escaltor. Escargot? That’s French. No, escalation, thank you, that’s the word, and meanwhile does the President get credit for an escalating ground war in Yemen? Does he get credit for increased US troops activity there, or for the 20 airstrikes in Yemen the last month? No. And the President isn’t sure if he’s going to get credit for launching a war against North Korea, either, we’ve got US Navy ships headed to the Korean Peninsula, maybe to start a war there, too, we’ll have to see what the poll numbers look like.”

Donald then sits down on the couch, then Jared clears his throat and says, “And that’s our act.”

The agent, shocked and confused, stutters and says, “What’s your act called?”

And with pride, Donald Jr. jumps to his feet and says, “The Aristocrats!”

Then the Agent says, “Is it … some kind of free association magic show?”

And then Melania says, “No, our act is more of a puppet show, when you get down to it.”

———-

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

US signals openness to Assad staying put
http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/30/politics/tillerson-haley-syria-assad-turkey/index.html

Ivanka may have convinced her dad to bomb Syria
http://nypost.com/2017/04/08/ivanka-may-have-convinced-her-dad-to-bomb-syria/

The US warned the Russians ahead of Syria missile strikes
http://www.cnbc.com/2017/04/06/the-us-warned-the-russians-ahead-of-syria-missile-strikes-official.html

Eyewitness says Syrian military anticipated U.S. raid
http://abcnews.go.com/International/eyewitness-syrian-military-anticipated-us-raid/story?id=46641107

Here’s how much it costs to replace the 59 Tomahawk missiles Trump fired on Syria
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/this-is-how-much-it-will-cost-to-replace-the-tomahawks-used-in-syria-2017-04-07

Trump to Congress: Syria strike was in ‘vital national security interest’ of US
http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/327962-trump-sends-congress-letter-explaining-syria-strike

Syrian Air Base Hit by US Missiles ‘Operational Again’
https://www.voanews.com/a/bombed-syrian-airbase-again-operational-governor-says/3802331.html

Former Bush Aide Chides Media Praise For Trump’s Syrian Airstrike
https://mediamatters.org/video/2017/04/09/former-bush-aide-chides-media-praise-trumps-syrian-airstrike/215962

US envoy Nikki Haley says Syria regime change is ‘inevitable’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/09/middleeast/syria-missile-strike-chemical-attack-aftermath/index.html

Top Republicans who opposed Syria attack under Obama are now praising Trump’s strike
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/07/politics/kfile-top-republicans-syria-trump/index.html

Syria strikes: Site of chemical attack hit again
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/08/middleeast/syria-strikes-russia-donald-trump/index.html

Tillerson just said no evidence.
https://twitter.com/joshrogin/status/851072170054832128

US to accuse Russia of complicity in Syrian chemical attack: report
http://nypost.com/2017/04/09/us-to-accuse-russia-of-complicity-in-syrian-chemical-attack-report/

US ground operations stepped up inside Yemen
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/04/politics/yemen-us-military-operations/

U.S. Deploys Navy Strike Group To Korean Peninsula As Missile Concerns Mount
https://twitter.com/NPR/status/851098665863139329

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.08

Media pundits all throughout the United States are giddy with praise for the illegal airstrike against Syria recently conducted by popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп. His decision to launch 60 Tomahawk cruise missiles into the war zone as punishment against the Assad regime’s alleged role in a chemical weapons attack that killed more than 80 people is certainly a 180-degree departure from the “America First” philosophy that signaled a rejection of international engagements and from his September 2016 declaration that the US “cannot be the policeman of the world.”

Several pundits, looking starry eyed, have praised Трамп’s decisiveness as a warning that other rogue regimes are on notice, apparently forgetting that less than a week ago Secretary of State and best-friend of Vladimir Putin Rex Tillerson said that there was no desire to put regimes like Assad’s on notice.

One pundit speaking on anonymity said, “Before, Трамп was just an incompetent man with no popular mandate, sagging approval ratings, actively working with white nationalists and other forces to make life miserable for American immigrants, but now, he’s an incompetent man with no popular mandate, sagging approval ratings, actively working with white nationalists and other forces to make life miserable for American immigrants who’s bombed people, which is very Presidential.”

———

Speaking of Nazis in the White House, fake terrorism expert, HYDRA Supreme Commander and White House advisor Seb Gorka has been praised for wearing the Order of Vitez, a symbol of the white nationalist Hungarian organization Vitezi Rend. Vitezi Rend was allied with Nazi Germany during World War II.

“When he appeared on U.S. television … with the medal of the Vitez Order … it made me really proud,” Vitezi Rend spokesman Andras Horvath said in the Hungarian capital of Budapest.

Membership in Vitezi Rend is considered a human rights violation by the United States Department of State, and is grounds for denial for entry into the country. Yet, somehow Seb Gorka was able to get past the extreme immigrant vetting of the Трамп regime while children and grandmothers cannot.

When asked about this, a White House spokesperson recommended that any immigrants who would like to stay in the United States should join similar unsavory organizations, said, “Hail HYDRA!!” then jumped out of a window.

———

Fresh from the confirmation of Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court and the ending of a long-standing Senate rule that ultimately required 60 votes for confirmation of a nominee, pundits at Fox News are already salivating at the possibility of getting to nominate even more people to the Supreme Court.

When a journalist pointed out that the next vacancy for the Supreme Court likely won’t open up until someone dies, a Трамп regime spokesperson put their hands behind their back and started whistling.

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

After Gorsuch confirmation, Trump likely considering next Supreme Court pick
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/04/08/after-gorsuch-confirmation-trump-likely-considering-next-supreme-court-pick.html

Syria strike signals a change for Trump
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/08/politics/syria-trump-russia/index.html

Sebastian Gorka Made Nazi-Linked Vitezi Rend ‘Proud’ By Wearing Its Medal
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/sebastian-gorka-made-nazi-linked-vitezi-rend-proud-wearing-its-n742851

9 FAM 302.7
(U) INELIGIBILITY BASED ON HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS – INA 212(A)(2)(G), INA 212(A)(3)(E), INA 212(A)(3)(G)
https://fam.state.gov/fam/09FAM/09FAM030207.html

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.07

An illegal strike against the despotic regime of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad was launched by popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп last night. A total of 59 Tomahawk missiles were launched, although conflicting reports say at least half were shot down by Russian anti-missile ordinance. The situation on the ground is confusing.

In response to the confusion, several pundits from MSNBC, CNN and others praised Leader Трамп for his march to war. CNN host Fareed Zakaria said,  “I think Donald Trump became president of the United States last night.”

No word yet on whether Zakaria was speaking ironically, to point out how many past Presidents of the 20th century have stumbled into war via ‘strategic’ strikes, or if he meant it in the kind of way that may mean he could get an interview with Leader Трамп in the future.

———

NASA’s Operation IceBridge research aircraft have taken pictures showing dramatic loss of ice in Greenland. Arctic Ice is in retreat due to the effects of global warming.

A White House spokesman said in response to the news, “See, Трамп said he’d get ISIS on the run, and look, ISIS is running away in Greenland!”

When a reporter pointed out that it was ICE, not ISIS, that was retreating, the spokesman dropped a smoke bomb then fell out of a window while trying to escape.

———

Facing the first major foreign policy test of his presidency, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп told reporters gathered at his private resort Mar-A-Lago that he ordered the missile strikes on Syria because previous attempts to change the behavior of Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad “have all failed and failed very dramatically.”

While several pundits, media figures, and even critics of the aspiring dictator have been quick to heap praise on the illegal strike, several of their past-selves from 2013 are furious with U.S. participation in the Syrian civil war. Sean Hannity 2013 said, “Glad our arrogant Pres. is enjoying his taxpayer funded golf outing after announcing the US should take military action against Syria.”

And meanwhile, Donald Трамп 2013 blasted Donald Трамп 2017 and said, “Don’t attack Syria – an attack that will bring nothing but trouble for the U.S. Focus on making our country strong and great again!”

A furious Donald Трамп 2013 also said to Donald Трамп 2017 that, “We should stop talking, stay out of Syria and other countries that hate us, rebuild our own country and make it strong and great again-USA!”

A White House spokesman said that a summit is being planned between Donald Трамп 2013 and Donald Трамп 2017 in order to smooth over their differences.

No word yet on when Donald Трамп 2017 will blame former President Obama for what Donald Трамп 2013 said.

———

Well. Great.

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Russia condemns Syria missile strike ordered by Trump
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/07/world/syria-military-strikes-donald-trump-russia/index.html

CNN host: ‘Donald Trump became president’ last night
http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/327779-cnn-host-donald-trump-became-president-last-night

NASA Flyover Reveals Arctic Ice in Retreat
http://www.nbcnews.com/slideshow/nasa-flyover-reveals-arctic-ice-retreat-n742596

How Trump came to make snap decision to strike Syria
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/04/07/how-trump-made-the-decision-to-bomb-syria-tick-tock/100149920/

Glad our arrogant Pres. is enjoying his taxpayer funded golf outing after announcing the US should take military action against Syria
https://twitter.com/seanhannity/status/375071259643879425

Don’t attack Syria – an attack that will bring nothing but trouble for the U.S. Focus on making our country strong and great again!
https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/377038618407493632

We should stop talking, stay out of Syria and other countries that hate us, rebuild our own country and make it strong and great again-USA!
https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/378389940671107072

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.06

Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has told some members of Congress that he is considering military action in Syria in retaliation for this week’s chemical attack, and recognizes the seriousness of the situation, a source familiar with the calls tells CNN.

Less than a week ago, the regime said via their UN spokesperson Nikki Haley that, “We can’t necessarily focus on Assad the way that the previous administration did. Our priority is to really look at how do we get things done, who do we need to work with to really make a difference for the people in Syria.”

So, a few days ago, the White House is saying, “We want to work with Assad, we don’t want to remove him from power.” A few days after that statement, Assad launches chemical weapons against his own people. A few days after that, Трамп blames the situation on Obama, even though President Obama was forbidden from taking direct military action by the Republican Congress in 2013. And today, Трамп is now thinking about taking direct military action against Syria in 2017.

When asked what the odds are that Трамп will again change his mind and stake out a new position, a White House staffer said, “Eh, maybe 50/50, depends on how his golf vacation at Mar-A-Lago goes this weekend. If they burn the meatloaf again, trouble for EVERYONE next week.”

———

Congresswoman Maxine Waters on Wednesday night said that Fox News host Bill O’Reilly and President Donald Trump should be locked up for alleged sexual harassment.

A White House spokesperson on condition of anonymity said that, “If we did that, we’d have to lock up half the Republicans in Washington D.C., probably a few Democrats too, heck, a lot of the male staff.”

Reportedly, Representative Waters arched her eye-brow and said, “ … and?” in response.

———

In reaction to the poison gas attacks conducted by Syrian President Bashar Assad against his own people that killed at least 27 children, Dmitry Peskov, spokesman for Russian President Vladimir Putin, made the statement to the Associated Press condemning the attacks. Peskov made it clear that support for Assad is “not unconditional.”

When asked what the conditions for Kremlin support are, Peskov nodded to a picture of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп and said, “Ask this one, he knows.”

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump considering options for Syria retaliation, source says
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/06/politics/donald-trump-syria-options/index.html

Trump administration reverses U.S. policy on Syria, no longer focused on ‘getting Assad out’
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/trump-admin-no-longer-focused-assad-article-1.3014690

Trump Hypocrisy: Blaming Syrian Chemical Attack on Obama
http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/04/trump-syria-obama-tweets-hypocrisy-chemical-attack

Rep. Maxine Waters: Trump and O’Reilly Should Be Arrested
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/rep-maxine-waters-trump-o-reilly-should-be-arrested-n743206

Kremlin says support for Syria’s Assad ‘not unconditional’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/04/06/un-27-children-died-syrian-chemical-tragedy/100113818/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.05

Yesterday, the regime of North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un fired a ballistic missile into the sea off the Korean Peninsula. In response to that provocation, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, said,

“North Korea launched yet another intermediate range ballistic missile. The United States has spoken enough about North Korea. We have no further comment.”

But just a few days earlier, a White House official said, “The clock has now run out, and all options are on the table.”

Apparently, those options include saying and doing nothing meaningful about, well, anything!

White House officials said that the, “do nothing meaningful,” policy will be the continued stance of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, along with, “Blame Obama, mention Hillary Clinton.”

———

Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has removed chief strategist Steve Bannon from the National Security Council, according to a filing in the federal registry.

White House officials say that Bannon was only on the NSC to look over then-National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. Now that Flynn is gone, Bannon is no longer needed in that role, the official said. Of course, Michael “General Misha” Flynn has been out of that role for nearly 2 months now.

Grassroots organizers had been calling their elected officials for months, with some mentioning the question about the legitimacy of Bannon, who had not been vetted by the Senate, even serving on the NSC in the first place. Many made mention of a bill from Representative Stephanie Murphy’s (D-Fla.) to remove him during their calls.

Reportedly, both far right and far left publications are preparing stories to downlplay the grassroots efforts, and remind everyone that the women’s Resistance movement is a failure.

No word yet on how many of those hot-takes will make sure to mention, “real issues,” and make fun of pink hats.

———

In other news, Police officers in Fresno, California are trying to identify a woman with webbed-toes who claims to be a mermaid. The woman was found wandering in the middle of the street, mostly naked, and dripping wet.

Reportedly, the woman asked, “Did Jill Stein win the Presidency? I’ve been swimming.” When she heard that Трамп was President, the mermaid reportedly jumped into the water and said, “It’s the two-party system’s fault …”

———

If Bannon being off of the NSC was one of the things you were calling about, congratulations. Cross it off the list! And either double-down on the rest of your list, or add something new.

It’s up to you. It really is. If you helped, today, it’s partly your day. So thank you!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Rex Tillerson’s incredibly odd and confusing statement on North Korea
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/04/politics/tillerson-north-korea-statement/index.html

Steve Bannon Removed From National Security Council
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/steve-bannon-removed-national-security-council-n742926

Michael Flynn: new evidence spy chiefs had concerns about Russian ties
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/mar/31/michael-flynn-new-evidence-spy-chiefs-had-concerns-about-russian-ties

Dem offers bill to remove Bannon from National Security Council
http://thehill.com/blogs/floor-action/house/317347-dem-offers-bill-to-remove-bannon-from-security-council

Webbed-toed woman found wandering in California claims she’s a mermaid
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/04/05/webbed-toed-woman-found-wandering-california-claims-shes-mermaid/100066828/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.04

Dozens of people, including at least ten children, have been killed in what is suspected to be one of the deadliest chemical attacks in Syria in years, multiple activist groups say.

Airstrikes hit the rebel-held city of Khan Sheikhoun in Idlib province on Tuesday morning, giving off a “poisonous gas,” according to Anas al-Diab, an activist with the Aleppo Media Center (AMC).

In response, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп retweeted a story from the Drudge Report alleging that Susan Rice ordered people to spy on him.

When asked whether a more Presidential response is required of Трамп, a White House spokesperson said, “Why start acting Presidential now?”

———

Speaking of Russian spies, it looks like Carter Page, the energy industry consultant that  popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп brought into his presidential campaign as a senior advisor, is the unnamed man identified in a federal complaint as having met with a Russian intelligence agent four years ago, Page himself revealed on Monday.

Page was described as an, “out-and-out Putinite,” by known leftist rag and totally fake news source National Review in April of last year when the appointment was announced.  

The White House responded to the revelation by bringing up Hillary Clinton. No word yet on when Bernie Sanders will also bring up Hillary Clinton in response.

———

Chelsea Clinton, who was once compared to a dog by rightwing media and is the focus of visceral hatred by many men in the left wing, recently appeared on CBS This Morning to promote her book “It’s Your World: Get Informed, Get Inspired and Get Going.” She was asked about whether her mom, 2016 popular vote winner Hillary Clinton, would run again for political office.

“I don’t think so. I think right now she’s focused on her book. She’s focused, thankfully, on her grandchildren. She’s focused on what she can do to help support work that she’s been engaged in for longer than I’ve been alive, around children, around women, around families.”

When asked if this news would stop attacks on Clinton from Sanders, Трамп, the Young Turks, and a long list of pundits, an anonymous source said, “Pfft, are you kidding? These folks all have donation coffers to fill. Just putting her face on an email, that’s, like, an easy $10 per donor.”

No word yet on when Clinton opponents will get over it.

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Syria gas attack reportedly kills dozens, including children
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/04/middleeast/idlib-syria-attack/index.html

Trump Campaign Associate Carter Page Revealed as Target of Russian Spies
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-campaign-associate-carter-page-revealed-target-russian-spies-n742356

Trump: The Kremlin’s Candidate
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/433613/trump-kremlins-candidate

Chelsea Clinton doesn’t think Hillary will run again
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/04/04/chelsea-clinton-does-not-think-hillary-will-run-again/100020322/

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.03

There was an explosion in a metro station in St. Petersburg, Russia this morning that killed 9 people, and injured 50 people according to officials on the scene. The first reports of this came in early in the morning on the East Coast of the United States.

So, what did popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп tweet about this morning? Lots of things, everything but the bomb blast. He also tweeted this about Hillary Clinton, “Did Hillary Clinton ever apologize for receiving the answers to the debate? Just asking!”

As a reminder, Hillary Clinton received the most votes for President in the history of the United States, but isn’t our President.

Is Трамп fully aware he’s President, now? It’s day 73. Maybe he’s in shock like the rest of us, still. Like, he goes golfing on the weekend, like he’s completely forgotten he said he would never golf when he was President. Maybe he did forget? Like, he wakes up on Mondays and goes, “Oh, man, this job again. I forgot I was President. Just let me sleep in a few more hours mom.”

Anyway, it’s day 73 of the Трамп regime, he tweeted about Clinton again, and hasn’t said a word about an explosion in Russia that hurt 50 people and killed 9.

———

More than 40,000 households across five states were still without power Monday morning as a severe thunderstorm system that killed two people Sunday continued to sweep the South. The storm system will continue moving east through Monday, forecasters said.

White House officials speaking on condition of anonymity believe that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп will go on Twitter and condemn the storm as, “FAKE NEWS! WEATHER IS A HOAX! Hillary Benghazi!” sometime this afternoon.

———

Senior advisor and son-in-law of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп Jared Kushner, is in Baghdad to meet Iraqi leaders and be briefed on the fight against the Islamic State group. Kushner joined US Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman General Joseph Dunford on the ground here.

An anonymous Iraqi official who worked in the former regime of Saddam Hussein was wistful about the visit. “It’s just like the old days!” the official said. “We used to have to drive Saddam’s sons around all over, listen to them like they knew what they were talking about. Memories. Maybe we’ll get to talk about torture or cars?”

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

St. Petersburg metro explosion: 9 dead in Russia blast
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/03/europe/st-petersburg-russia-explosion/index.html

Did Hillary Clinton ever apologize for receiving the answers to the debate? Just asking!
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/848857910297980928

40,000 Homes Without Power as Storm Sweeps Southeast
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/weather/mom-3-year-old-daughter-killed-louisiana-dangerous-storm-sweeps-n741846

Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner in Iraq with top US general
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-39483775

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.02

Senator John McCain was recently interviewed and asked if he saw a comparison between popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп and Ronald Reagan.

“No, I don’t,” he told David Axelrod on “The Axe Files,” a podcast from the University of Chicago Institute of Politics and CNN. “I am more worried about this country than I’ve been in my entire lifetime.”

When asked if he was worried enough to more actively oppose the agenda of the Трамп regime, McCain said, “Uh DOY, of course not.”

———

Representative Adam Schiff of California, currently the top-ranking Democrat on the House intelligence committee said Sunday that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s claims about illegal wiretapping and news leaks are an attempt to distract people from the overall investigation into possible collusion between the Трамп campaign and Russians who sought to influence last year’s election.

“… whenever they see (Трамп) use the word ‘fake,’ it ought to set off alarm bells,” said Schiff on CNN’s State of the Union

So, if you see a White House press release that says, “Ignore any fake reports you hear about us launching nuclear missiles at Canada, Fake News!” get in a bunker.

———

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, a Democrat from New York, believes that, “Gorsuch will not reach the 60-vote margin” needed to overcome a filibuster. Gorsuch is the Supreme Court nominee put up popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп. The Senate still has not given a hearing to Judge Merrick Garland, nominated over a year ago by then President Barack Obama.

Schumer said that if there aren’t 60 votes, Трамп and the Republicans should, “try to come up with a mainstream nominee. Look, when a nominee doesn’t get 60 votes, you shouldn’t change the rules, you should change the nominee.”

An exasperated Sean “Sphicnter” Spicer took the podium to roll his eyes and sigh a lot in response. “Look, do you guys realize how hard it is to find real people with plausible sounding supervillain names? We have Gorka, Gorsuch, Bannon … we sound like a collection of James Bond villains from the last 60 years. We’re running out of people with weird, clearly villainous names, people. Why can’t you give us a break?”

Spicer then laid down underneath his podium to take a nap.

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

McCain: No comparison between Trump and Reagan
http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/01/politics/john-mccain-axe-files/index.html

Schiff: Trump trying to shift attention from Russia probe
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/04/02/schiff-tump-trying-shift-attention-russia-probe-john-mccan/99950962/

Sen. Schumer Says It’s Unlikely Gorsuch Will Reach 60 Votes
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/sen-schumer-says-it-s-unlikely-gorsuch-will-reach-60-n741736

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.04.01

In a scene seemingly out of the HBO comedy Veep, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп walked out of an Executive Signing ceremony yesterday before signing a single bill. Current Vice-President and Head Vampire Michael Pence had to chase Трамп out of the room with a copy of the Executive orders to be signed. Трамп left the room after being asked questions about Russia by a reporter.

A thoughtful Трамп then decided to resign from the Presidency effective today.

Ha, got you! April Fools! Трамп is still President!
Hah! Yeah. Трамп is still President. Yay.

———

Since the campaign of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп went into full swing in the summer of 2015, the United States has seen a dramatic rise in hate crimes, even as the overall crime rate continues to drop. The surge in hate crimes has led lawmakers in several states, including New York, Connecticut, and Alabama to introduce new legislation to deal with the rise in cemetery desecrations, race-based shootings of people of color by white supremacists, and more.

Faced with the news, and the dawning realization of his role in this rise in white supremacist activity, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп decided to resign from the Presidency effective immediately.

No, just kidding. Трамп, man, Трамп is still President.

———

Speaking of Трамп, did you hear the latest Tweets he made? Трамп went on Twitter to make fun of journalist Chuck Todd, tweeting, “When will Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd and @NBCNews start talking about the Obama SURVEILLANCE SCANDAL and stop with the Fake Trump/Russia story?”

A savvy news media realized this was just Трамп trying to drive headlines again, and stayed focused on stories they thought mattered.

April Fools! Of course this got picked up, but luckily, only by USA Today!

Yes, USA Today, America’s favorite free newspaper to forget about reading while munching on stale donuts at a hotel in the middle of nowhere.

———

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump walks out before signing executive orders
http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/31/politics/donald-trump-executive-order-signing-walk-out/index.html

Rise in Hate Crimes Spurs States to Enhance Protections
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/rise-hate-crimes-spurs-states-enhance-protections-n738391

Trump calls out ‘sleepy eyes’ Chuck Todd, slams ‘fake news media’
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/04/01/trump-calls-out-sleepy-eyes-chuck-todd-slams-fake-news-media/99903542/

When will Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd and @NBCNews start talking about the Obama SURVEILLANCE SCANDAL and stop with the Fake Trump/Russia story?https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/848153860602507264