Late last night, at 12:06 a.m. ET, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп tweeted, “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.” That turned ‘covfefe’ into a trending twitter term and a global news story.

Then, early this morning, Трамп deleted the tweet, then followed up by tweeting, “Who can figure out the true meaning of “covfefe” ??? Enjoy!”

According to sources, ‘covfefe’ is Russian for, “Person who buys millions of twitter followers to wage propaganda war.”

There was also potential rumors that Трамп was planning to fully exit the Paris climate accords which will hasten global climate change and end human life on the Planet, but, hey, #covfefe!


Speaking of missing, did you hear the latest about Ivanka Трамп’s Chinese shoe factory? Did you know she had a contract with a Chinese shoe factory?

So, there’s a company in Shanghai that produces shoes for a variety of brands, including Ivanka Трамп-branded shoes. The factory where the shoes are made has been accused of everything from spying on workers attempting to organize into labor unions to criminally low wages, mandatory unpaid overtime and more.

Three activists went to investigate the factory, and now two are missing and one has been arrested. The three activists were planning to publish a report on their findings next month. China Labor Watch released a statement begging popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп and First Lady, er, First Daughter Ivanka Трамп for help.

“We appeal to President Trump, Ivanka Trump herself, and to her related brand company to advocate and press for the release our activists,” China Labor Watch said.

In apparent response, Ivanka retweeted this morning, “@HarvardBiz “The 40-Year-Old Intern” offers insights on “returnships” that can help relaunch a career after a hiatus.”

There’s no word yet on whether the President or the First Lady, pardon, the First Daughter will try to help the activists. Sources say that China Labor Watch is considering tweeting at both and using the hashtag #covfefe to get their attention.


Under the backdrop of rising tensions between white supremacists and everyone else in Portland, Oregon, one Republican law-maker says that the Republican party should use some of those same militia groups for protection. This is after the murder in Portland of  Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche, 23, and Rick Best, 53,  by white supremacist Jeremy Christian. 21-year-old student Micah David-Cole Fletcher survived the attack with gruesome injuries. The three victims had come to the aid of two women being subjected to hate speech by Jeremy Christian on public transportation.

Multnomah County Republican Party chair James Buchal, interviewed about the attacks and the tensions in Portland, told the Guardian that, “I think that it is appropriate for Republicans to continue to go out there. And if they need to have a security force protecting them, that’s an appropriate thing too.” When asked to clarify if he meant hiring private security forces instead of using city or state police, Buchal said, “Yeah. And there are these people arising, like the Oath Keepers and the Three Percenters… Because there are now belligerent, unstable people who are convinced that Republicans are like Nazis.”

So, for anyone keeping track, the NAZI party used private security forces in it’s early days, dubbed ‘brownshirts’ who both ‘protected’ party leaders and attacked various ‘undesirables’ in Germany.

I guess this means that Multnomah County Republican Party chair James Buchal might be one of those unstable people who are convinced that Republicans are like Nazis.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

‘Covfefe’ tells you all you need to know about Donald Trump

Activists Missing Amid Probe of Ivanka Trump-Linked Shoe Factories

@HarvardBiz “The 40-Year-Old Intern” offers insights on “returnships” that can help relaunch a career after a hiatus

Portland Republican says party should use militia groups after racial attack


Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …



CNN reported on information from unnamed sources that Russian government officials discussed having potentially “derogatory” information about popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп and his cronies during the 2016 election, according to two former intelligence officials and a congressional source. According to the sources, the information was intercepted by U.S. intelligence sources.

The information was apparently financial in nature and would give the Russian government leverage over Трамп. It’s also possible that the Russian intelligence sources made up the information as part of a broader counter-intelligence operation for an unknown purpose.

A reporter for Your Daily Dystopia called the White House for comment, and asked, “Wouldn’t this all be cleared up if Donald Трамп simply released his full tax returns for the last ten years?” The anonymous White House staffer said, “Yeah, the problem with releasing his tax returns would be that it would totally prove what the Russians said about financial ties to be true OOPS, I gotta go, it’s time for Steve Bannon’s daily bath in baby blood.” The phone then abruptly hung-up.


Speaking of the White House, did you hear about the latest fast exit from the White House? After less than 3 months on the job, White House Communications Director Mike Dubke has abruptly resigned. Dubke was a founder of Republican advertising firm Crossroads Media of Virginia. He resigned on May 18th but stayed on until popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп came home from his first overseas trip as President.

Sources told NBC News that former campaign aides Corey Lewandowski and David Bossie may be brought back into the White House to help bolster the Трамп staff.

I guess this means Трамп will be talking about putting Hillary Clinton in jail again in the next week! Hey, email news is coming again CNN, get ready!


A few months ago, the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп completed a deal to move U.S. missile launchers into South Korea, with much fanfare and saber rattling at North Korea. The move helped raise tensions in the region, and angered both the North Korean and Chinese governments. Donald Трамп suggested at the time that Seoul should pay for the missile systems, which angered the South Korean population, many of whom didn’t want the missile system in the first place.

Between then and now, there was a peaceful movement to oust conservative South Korean President Park Geun-hye due to numerous corruption problems. Millions of people took to the streets, and then elected liberal Moon Jae-In to the highest office in the land.

Now, President Moon has begun a review of the deployment of the system, and could possibly order their removal based on the outcome of the review.

When asked for a comment, sources say Donald Трамп said, “You tell that guy, hey, you break it, you bought it, those missiles are out of the package, now, so they gotta pay for them. No refunds. So, you tell that Kim Jong Un kid, and yes, I know that Kim Jong Il his dad is dead, I was quizzed on this, so you tell that Kim Jong Uno that hey, you have to keep the missiles. And I have submarines off your coast right now!”

Трамп will reportedly eat 3 scoops of ice cream later to help soothe his nerves.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Sources: Russians discussed potentially ‘derogatory’ information about Trump and associates during campaign

Mike Dubke, White House Communications Director, Resigns After 3 Months on Job

U.S. Begins Thaad Deployment in South Korea After Missile Firing

South Korean President Park Geun-hye’s advisers offer to resign after her ouster, reports say

Korean leader orders probe on U.S. missile launchers


Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …



Newly elected French President Emmanuel Macron recently shook hands with popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп in full view of the world media in Brussels. Трамп has been using these handshakes with world leaders to do a sort of ‘dominance ritual’ where he’ll jerk on the world leader’s arm and pull them closer to him. But Macron, aware of this strange behavior, gripped Трамп’s hand tightly and resisted the pull, which put some media publications into speculation mode; was there a deeper significance to that extended handshake? According to Macron, the answer is, “Oui!”

“My handshake with him, it’s not innocent,” Macron told the Journal du Dimanche in an interview published Sunday. “It’s not the alpha and the omega of politics, but a moment of truth.”

Aides say Трамп is considering sending an aircraft carrier group to France to deal with the situation, but will need to check in with Vladimir Putin first.


NBC News is reporting that in the aftermath of multiple reports of his extensive, elicit, direct ties with various figures in the Russian government that Jared “The Kush” Kushner is being asked to, “lay low.”

An anonymous source inside the Трамп regime told NBC News that he must “lay low” because of revelations that Kushner sought to set up a secret back-channel with Russia. Separately, another White House regime official, who really doesn’t like Kushner and spoke on condition of anonymity, told NBC News that at least one staffer was speechless when they learned about reports of a purported Russia back channel.

“This mook, he’s gotta lay low, see, he’s gotta avoid the mugs in the press, see, else they’ll put the screws on him, and then he might sing like a canary and the jig’ll be up for all of us!” the staffer said, speaking like an old-timey gangster.

Sean Spicer is expected to hold a press conference this week to talk about this new “old-timey gangstar talk,” policy adopted by the Трамп regime, just as soon as he can find his way out of the White House bushes.


Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has returned to Washington, D.C., after a 9 day overseas trip where he, at times, was almost nearly Presidential before messing up the whole thing by doing things like shoving the President of Montenegro out of the way to get in the front line for a photo op or trying his strange handshake rituals. The least Presidential thing Трамп did was to prove to the U.S.’s European allies that he’s a completely unreliable partner, especially (as German Chancellor Angela Merkel pointed out) on issues of climate change.

So, Donald Трамп returns the United States to a flurry of subpoenas sought against his various aides and associates for their own Russia investigations, a volatile Congress and Senate that has, among other things, a disastrous #Trumpcare bill to push, and his desire to cut his own taxes while simultaneously pulling $800 billion from Medicaid. The last one breaks one of his primary campaign promises from his presidential campaign.

When asked about this political firestorm, Трамп reportedly pointed to the problem of leaks in his administration as the most important thing to worry about. Of course, as many have pointed, Трамп himself is the source of many of these leaks, along with people in his own regime.

I guess living in such a disastrous, self-made situation would explain this tweet from Трамп earlier today …

“I look forward to paying my respects to our brave men and women on this Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery later this morning.”

I mean, your life is pretty low when the big highlight for your day is a trip to a cemetery. Still, when you use social media like a 14-year old girl as a grown man, life can be pretty tough. After all, like Трамп himself said, “People have been forced to resign positions for far less than @JonahNRO’s “tweeting like a 14 year old girl.””

It’s day 129 of the Trump regime, folks!


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Macron explains his tense handshake with Trump

Kushner Asked to ‘Lay Low’ After Russia-Related Reports, Source Says

President Trump shoved the Montenegro prime minister at NATO

Angela Merkel says it was ‘right’ to confront Donald Trump over climate change

Trump returns to political challenges, from Russia inquiry to health care

I look forward to paying my respects to our brave men and women on this Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery later this morning.

“People have been forced to resign positions for far less than @JonahNRO’s “tweeting like a 14 year old girl.”

How long has Donald Trump been President


Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …


Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly went on “Meet the Press” Sunday to condemn the leaking of information about the Manchester bombing by fellow officials in the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп. The leaks have forced English counterterrorism forces to stop sharing information with their U.S. counterparts.

Kelly said that intelligence leaks from his fellow Трамп regime officials related to the recent Manchester attack are, “darn close to treason.

I guess this in contrast to the activities of Paul Manafort, Carter Page, Michael Flynn, Steve Bannon, Jared Kushner and a whole host of other people in the regime which are definitely Treason.


Speaking of deflecting blame for treasonous activity, genteel southern stereotype and Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) says the entire storyline that Jared Kushner proposed setting up a secret communications channel between the Trump transition team and the Kremlin is suspicious. He believes that the communication is part of a pattern of disinformation and leaks from the Russian government. designed to confuse the American public.

When asked if he thinks that same interference was at play by Russia in the 2016 election to help Donald Трамп become President, Graham immediately changed the subject and instead talked about Hillary Clinton’s emails. “Those Hillary Clinton emails, I say, those Hillary Clinton emails are a legitimate news story, I think, so let’s get back to talking ‘bout that.”


USA Today splashed a story on their front page today to fact check several claims about NATO made by popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп during his overseas trip.

Among the claims that Трамп made about NATO are …

  • Thanks to him, money is “starting to pour into NATO”
  • 23 of 28 member nations are in debt to the U.S.

Among the claims that USA Today debunked …

  • No, money isn’t pouring into NATO, countries don’t pay the U.S., nor do they pay NATO directly, that’s not how it works at all
  • None of the countries in NATO are in debt to the U.S.

Essentially, USA Today laid out that everything Donald Трамп has been saying about NATO is, to quote a quote, “Fake News.”

Yes, that’s USA Today, folks, the free newspaper you can get at your door at Super 8 motels across the country, doing a better job at journalism than a lot of what you can get on TV.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Sec. John Kelly: Intelligence Leaks Are ‘Darn Close To Treason’

Graham on Kushner report: Story is suspicious

Fact check: President Trump and his mistold NATO tales


Catch up on back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA at …


CNN reported this morning on a story reported by the Washington Post that revealed that Jared “The Kush” Kushner, son-in-law of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, talked with Russian ambassador Sergei Kislyak about opening a ‘back-channel’ line of communication that would be invisible to U.S. intelligence services. The Kush suggested using the Russian embassy as a physical location for such discussions.

Former National Security advisor Michael Flynn was in attendance at the meeting where the clandestine communication channel was discussed. CNN quoted a story from The New York times that cited three people with knowledge of the discussion who backed up the claim.

So, that’s The Washington Post and The New York Times doing all of the investigative legwork for a story that CNN is now reporting.

In related news, CNN has been trying out a new motto for use on its cable channel, “CNN: We let other people do the investigative reporting because hey, we’re on TV!”


Former National Security Advisor to President Jimmy Carter, Zbigniew Brzezinski, died yesterday. His death was announced by his daughter, Mika Brzezinski, co-host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.”

“He was known to his friends as Zbig, to his grandchildren as Chief and to his wife as the enduring love of her life,” she said in a post on Instagram.

Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп took a moment to offer remarks on the death of Zbig Brzezinski, and reportedly said, “Y’know, that Zibby Broznowski, he was a heck of a guy, really had a hot daughter, not as hot as the Ivanka, she’s so hot that she could be First Lady by the way, but, no, I’m kidding, he’s a good guy, he does the good things for people, and we should thank the Zipper Breezekinski for the things he’s doing. Good guy, great guy, hot daughter, even if her network is fake news. Hey, Zippy Buzzfeedski, tell your daughter to go work for a real network! What were we talking about?”


Current Vice-President and probable head vampire Mike Pence has left over 50 official records requests from his time as Indiana governor unfulfilled. Most of the requests are for his emails. Some are more than 10 months old.

The requests represent an unprecedented backlog, fueled in large part by increased interest in Pence after he became President Trump’s running mate last year.

When asked why he hadn’t provided the emails, a spokesperson for Mike Pence said, “You guys saw what happened to Hillary Clinton when emails came up. Pence needs to make sure there’s nothing incriminating about his ties to Russia in those emails before he provides them, it’s basic common sense, otherwise he’ll–”

The spokesperson was whisked away by Secret Service agents for “protection” before she could finish the rest of her sentence.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Washington Post: Kushner proposed secret communication channel with Kremlin

Zbigniew Brzezinski, Carter’s National Security Adviser, Dies at 89

Pence left dozens of records requests unfilled


Greg Gianforte, the Republican candidate for the lone Congressional seat in the state of Montana, won 50.3% of the vote, and is the new Congressman for that state. Democrat Rob Quist won 43.8% of the vote, while Libertarian Mark Wicks got 5.7%.

Republicans are taking Gianforte’s win as proof that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s base isn’t abandoning Trump despite a high-profile investigation into whether his campaign had ties to Russia.

Gianforte assaulted a reporter on the eve of the vote, a move that mirrors Трамп’s own assault of reporters and women. Choking a reporter, throwing him to the ground and breaking his glasses may have helped Gianforte win additional votes.

In a post-mortem, both the Quist and Wicks campaigns felt strongly that if they had gotten into a fist fight prior to the vote that they would have done better.


Newly elected Congressman Greg Gianforte (R-MN) apologized to Ben Jacobs, a reporter for The Guardian that Gianforte assaulted a few days ago. Gianforte has been charged with misdemeanor assault over the incident. Yesterday, Gianforte claimed that Jacobs had started the fight, but today his apology is an admission that, yes, he did assault Ben Jacobs.

There is speculation that the apology may be enough to get the charges against Gianforte dropped.

I guess in Montana, law and order means as long as you apologize afterwards, you can beat up nerds in glasses. Who knew that Montana was like a 1980s movie high-school?


Meanwhile, we turn to Texas, another state where people wear cowboy hats and don’t like nerds. In Channelview, Texas, seventh grade student Lizeth Villanueva received an award during a ceremony at her school, Anthony Aguirre Junior High. She was won of several students given award certificates at the ceremony.

The award? Latino student Lizeth Villanueva, a student in advanced academic program, was given the award, “Most Likely to Become a Terrorist.” Villanueva has never been a discipline problem at the school. The award was given to her the day after a suicide bombing in Manchester, England took the lives of 22 people, and injured 59 others.

When asked by a reporter why Villeanueva was given the award, the teacher in question spokes in hushed tones and said, “It was an oke-jay because she’s an immigrant-ay.”

When the reporter said, “Pardon? Can you repeat that?” the teacher in question sighed and said more loudly, “IT WAS AN OKE-JAY BECAUSE SHE’S AN IMMIGRANT-AY!”

When the reporter said, “Pardon?” one more time, the teacher assaulted the reporter and said, “IT WAS A JOKE BECAUSE SHE WAS AN IMMIGRANT! IT WAS A JOKE BECAUSE SHE WAS AN IMMIGRANT! WE CALLED HER A TERRORIST BECAUSE SHE’S A BROWN KID!”

In a related story, the teacher in question is now being considered for a run for Congress by the GOP.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

What Greg Gianforte’s win in Montana taught Washington

Republican Charged With Assault Claims Win in Montana Special Election

Teachers give ‘Most Likely to Become a Terrorist’ award to 13-year-old girl


The Montana special election for their lone seat to Congress took a strange turn yesterday when Republican candidate Greg Gianforte assaulted reporter Ben Jacobs of The Guardian. Jacobs was attempting to get a quote from Gianforte about his support of the Affordable Health Care Act after the recent revelation from the Congressional Budget Office noted that at least 23 million people will lose their health insurance because of the bill.

After asking a few questions, Gianforte then put Jacobs into a chokehold, threw him to the ground, then kicked and punched him. Gianforte has been charged with assault.

Supporters of Gianforte at first tried to claim the attack was simply fake news, noting that a TV crew was in the room and didn’t say anything. The TV crew later backed up Jacobs account of his assault, at which point, Gianforte supporters claimed that all of the media is fake media, except of course for Fox News. It was then revealed that the TV crew worked for Fox News, and were there specifically to record a segment for Fox News host Brett Baier about the Montana special election.

Today’s take from Gianforte supporters is that fake liberal news media deserves to be assaulted. And the national desk at Fox News is ignoring their own reporter’s statements.

In the meantime, Democrat Rob Quist is considering his options on who he could punch or kick in order to get his name into the headlines.


Reporters and political pundits around the country, including the milquetoast stalwarts of NBC news, are reeling as they try to find the hottest possible take on Montana Republican Congressional candidate Greg Gianforte’s assault of reporter Ben Jacobs last night.

And NBC may have come up with the hottest take, by claiming that this assault by a Republican Congressman is a sign of a problem with our politics in general and that this move actually hurts Democrats in the end.

Later in the day, NBC News is planning to run a series on victims of Domestic Violence called, “It Takes Two To Tango.” The subtitle of the new NBC News series is, “Yeah, I know that guy hit his wife but she really had it coming!”


Meanwhile, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has launched a series of robocalls today in support of Greg Gianforte’s efforts to win the lone Montana seat to Congress. Robocalls are illegal in Montana, but that hasn’t stopped Трамп from doing it anyway!

The message doesn’t make reference to Gianforte’s assault on The Guardian’s Ben Jacobs, but given that Montana went for Donald Трамп, a man who himself sexually assaulted a People magazine news reporter, in the 2016 Presidential Election this could be the thing that puts Gianforte into the Congress!



Speaking of incompetence, in the wake of the devastating attack at an Ariana Grande concert that killed 22 people, including several children, and injured 59 others, the United Kingdom has suspended intelligence sharing with the United States.

The reason? US officials working for the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп released the suspected bomber’s name and other details of the investigation, against the wishes of British investigators scrambling to keep details of the probe confidential as they look to root out a potential terror network. British Prime Minister Theresa May will raise with Donald Трамп later today.

When asked about the source of the leaks, a White House aide speaking on conditions of anonymity said, “I have no idea,” while casually pointing to a picture of Donald Трамп.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Gianforte charged with election-eve assault

Greg Gianforte: Fox News team witnesses GOP House candidate ‘body slam’ reporter

Montana GOP candidate cited after reporter alleged he was ‘body slammed’

‘Fox & Friends’ ignore network’s own reporting on Gianforte assault to cover for GOP candidate

‘Body Slam’ of Reporter Is Another Sign of America’s Broken Politics

Voters are getting a phone message from Trump in Montana, where robo-calls are illegal

Physically Attacked by Donald Trump – a PEOPLE Writer’s Own Harrowing Story

Manchester attack: UK halts sharing bombing intel with US


While popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп fumbles his way through his first overseas trip as President, House Speaker and Трамп regime lapdog Paul Ryan is stretching his wings as the Axios News Shapers event in Washington, D.C. Ryan told Mike Allen of Axios’ that he Donald Трамп is wrong about his assertion that FBI Director James Comey is a “nut job.”

“Yeah, I don’t agree with that,” Ryan told the crowd. Ryan also added, “I like Jim Comey.”

Aides say that Ryan will deny he disagreed with Трамп later this afternoon, and will plan on calling Comey a nut job himself tomorrow morning.


House Republicans leaders passed the American Health Care Act three weeks ago without waiting for the Congressional Budget Office, the nonpartisan agency responsible for scrutinizing legislation, to evaluate its effects. After the historic vote, the Republican Congress went to the White House and drank canned beer.

But today’s the day for the CBO to deliver its score on the latest version of the American Health Care Act. The last score from the CBO let the American people know that the AHCA would leave 24 million more people without insurance, and increase premiums for people, including 64-year-old Americans earning $26,500 or less, who would pay an additional $12,900 in premiums every year to purchase insurance.

Aides in Congress say that the Republicans plan to trash the CBO score, unless it’s favorable to their cause of removing health insurance from millions of Americans, in which case they plan to celebrate with more beer at the White House while the place is empty.


Speaking of hurting poor people by taking away benefits, the 2018 budget from the regime of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп promises $2 trillion in tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans, while taking away benefits from the poorest of them.

This includes $800 billion cuts to Medicaid, despite promises from Трамп in May of 2015, and on his website, that, “I’m not going to cut Social Security like every other Republican and I’m not going to cut Medicare or Medicaid.” Trump officials have removed this statement from his website, but you can still read it on at –

When asked whether his supporters will realize that he’s broken his promise, a White House aide cracked open a beer and said, “Hey, ask us in a week when he gets back, in the meantime, spread the word, party at the Oval Office, full kegs. $5 a head. Ted Nugent is playing at midnight.” Before anyone could ask a follow-up question, the phone hung up.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Paul Ryan: James Comey is not a nut job

Congressional Budget Report Could Upset GOP Efforts to Repeal Obamacare

Trump budget hard on ‘forgotten’ rural American supporters

The Medicare Killers

404 Page Not Found



I write this every morning to do three things. The first is, to just practice writing, period. The more you practice at something, the better you get at it. The second is to practice writing jokes, the kind of topical things that are a staple of certain kinds of programs. The third is to just focus that time I spend reading the news in the morning, so that I don’t let the news take over my life the rest of the day.

Basically, every day, somewhere, I read about something horrific. I usually focus it down to the stuff that’s terrible, but not too horrific, because that’s just not the kind of jokes I like to make. I’m not the one trying to figure out, “How do you make a really good joke about that rape trial?” I’m not judging the people who figure that out or laugh at that stuff, either. Just, this is me writing in the morning, and maybe I’ll go there one of these days, but if I have my druthers, I never will.

I do want to get solid at this, though, a bit of fluff to help some people giggle a bit. Maybe even turn these into a podcast. We’ll see.

But, I read the news today and just. Man. 22 people, a lot of them kids, killed in a bombing at an Arianna Grande concert in Manchester, England. 59 people hurt. There really isn’t more to it than that. The bomber is dead. Some guy has been arrested. None of the stories I read could say clearly, “This many people died in the bombing, this many people were hurt from the stampede of frightened people fleeing the stadium.” There’s no motive, yet, either, as I’m writing this.

That doesn’t stop people from being people, though. Stuff like this, people feel afraid. And then they react as they do, and look for blame, for motive, and invent both if neither is obvious, and then roll their eyes at the people who don’t agree, and that fear gives way to angry reactions, because that feels good and you can get it out more quickly than fear.

The only thing I know is that, for me at least, I don’t want to be glib. Memes and the typical reactions that people have all feel glib to me.

Instead, I’ll offer you a suggestion. Watch this video. But, take this kid’s words to heart, and think beyond St. Louis. And if your reaction is, “Well, tell this to the terrorists!” or “This is what we get for bombing the world!” or something in between … you have a point. But maybe, listen to what the kid is saying again. If you were in front of a scared kid, what would you say right now? What would you do? Would you yell and scream? Would you lie to him and tell him everything is going to be okay, just because? Would you promise to do more?

What would you say? Let it sink in, really think about it. And then think, how could I help him?

ST.LOUIS. ST LOUIS STLOUIS PSA PSA ..My Son has A message for St Louis before bed… Our kids are tired!! wake up people.. Lil J had me in tears.. I can’t fail him !! At Six years old !!!


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!


The Supreme Court struck down two unconstitutionally gerrymandered electoral districts in North Carolina today which packed African-Americans into districts that already had a high percentage of African-Americans, thus diluting their presence in other districts. The vote was 8-0 to strike down the District 1 map, and 5-3 to strike down the District 12 map.

Justice Neil Gorsuch took no part in either vote.

Reports say in the future he plans to side with curtailing voting rights, per his mandate from popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп.

Aides say that when Трамп, currently visiting the Middle East, was informed of the ruling, he promptly fell asleep into a bowl of ice-cream. STAMINA!


Secretary of State Rex “I am literally friends with Vladimir Putin and am doing this job to make a deal on oil fields for Exxon” Tillerson told reporters Monday that no apology would be forthcoming following popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s disclosure of highly classified Israeli intelligence regarding ISIS to Russian government officials.

“I don’t know that there’s anything to apologize for,” he said. “To the extent the Israelis have any questions, or clarification, I’m sure we’re happy to provide that.”

A reporter quickly asked if Tillerson could clarify why Israel should continue sharing any intelligence with Трамп. Before he could answer, Jared “The Kush” Kushner leaped out from behind some curtains, threw a smokebomb, then whisked Tillerson away.


Speaking of Rex Tillerson, in another interview during a flight from Riyadh to Tel Aviv, the Secretary of State and said that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s visit to Saudi Arabia this week has already begun to soften his attitudes about Islam. This is after a two-day summit in which Трамп was treated to extraordinary Arab hospitality.

“I think the President’s views — like, we hope, the American people’s views — are going to continue to evolve,” Tillerson said on the flight from Riyadh to Tel Aviv.

Aides for the Трамп regime say he’ll be back to his regular, more racist views once he returns home and starts spending time with the white nationalist aides, so don’t despair yet American Fascists and Neo-Nazis!


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Supreme Court strikes down North Carolina congressional district maps

Trump’s Intelligence Disclosure to Russia: No Apology, Tillerson Says

Trump’s views on Islam ‘continue to evolve,’ Secretary of State Rex Tillerson says