YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.05.02

Popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп tweeted Tuesday that the country needs a “good ‘shutdown,'” as well advocated for changing Senate rules, in a pair of tweets where he complained about the congressional negotiating process. Трамп suggested that a shut-down could come in September of this year.

Aides to the regime believe that Трамп is hoping to take a long vacation in September of this year, and believes that, “if the office is closed, we can all take a long break for a while.”

Reports say Трамп would opt for a staycation at Mar-A-Lago should he get his September shut-down vacation.

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North Korean media reported that two U.S. B-1B Lancer bombers filing training drills with the South Korean and Japanese air forces was yet another American “military provocation” that risked triggering nuclear war, one that would,  “reduce the whole of the U.S. mainland to ruins.”

A regime spokesperson reportedly said, “You can’t trust a crazy-man with a goofy haircut’s comments about war.”

At this time, no one was sure if the spokesperson was talking about Kim Jong Un or Donald Трамп.

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Speaking of Russia, there’s been an epidemic among Russia’s elite since 2014. 38 prominent Russians have died due to a mysterious plague that some analysts are calling, “The Putin Flu.”

People exposed to Putin Flu are first critical of Vladimir Putin. Later, they die under mysterious circumstances, including some in broad daylight. People who have caught the Putin Flu have included a Russian member of Parliament who was gunned down in Kiev, a Russian ambassador to the UN who died at work, and a Russian media executive who was found dead in Washington, D.C.

A spokesperson for Putin denied the existence of a Putin flu, and insisted that, “Most of these guys just fell on some bullets.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Donald Trump: Our country needs a good ‘shutdown,’ suggests Senate rule change
http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/02/politics/donald-trump-shutdown-tweet/index.html

North Korea Warns Region Is ‘Close to Nuclear War’ Amid U.S. Drills
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/north-korea/north-korean-warns-region-close-nuclear-war-amid-u-s-n753756

Mysterious rash of Russian deaths cast suspicion on Vladimir Putin
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/05/02/dozens-russian-deaths-cast-suspicion-vladimir-putin/100480734/

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