YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.05.10

Yesterday, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп fired FBI Director James “But Her Emails!” Comey, vaguely describing problems with his handling of Hillary Clinton’s emails.

Unmentioned by Трамп was that on Monday of this week, FBI Director Comey had requested more funds for the ongoing FBI probe into Russian influence of the 2016 elections and on the regime of Donald Трамп.

When asked about this discrepancy, the Department of Justice denied that Comey had requested those funds.

In related news, the ghost of Richard Nixon quietly smiled as he realized history may soon come to remember him as only the second most corrupt President in the history of the United States.

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Current Vice-President and possible head vampire Mike Pence defended the regime of Donald Трамп from accusations that they had improperly fired FBI Director James Comey. Head Vampire Pence reportedly said that firing Comey was the, “right decision, right time.”

As analysts have pointed out, had the firing of Comey waited a few more weeks, his agency may have uncovered deep ties between Russia and the Трамп regime, so … can’t let that happen.

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Speaking of the slow erosion of our Constitutional Government, a reported in West Virginia was arrested for asking Health and Human Services secretary Tom Price questions.

Daniel Ralph Heyman, 54, with the Public News Service of West Virginia, was arrested for “willful disruption of government processes,” according to a criminal complaint. The veteran reporter was shouting questions to the secretary about whether domestic violence would be considered a pre-existing condition under the proposed American Health Care Act.

In response, several progressives and moderate liberals sought reasons why Heyman’s arrest would be reasonable. One anonymous moderate said, “Well, let’s get both sides of the story, if someone is yelling, that could be scary.” Another moderate said, “Yeah, this isn’t as black and white as people are making it. If it’s black and white, it’s the government curtailing the first amendment rights of a reporter in plain site. But, if it’s murky, we can pretend that’s not happening.”

The group of moderates and counter-factual citizens sought further assurances that there was nothing to worry about, and decided to watch episodes of Rachel Ray later in the day in response.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump latest: Live updates on FBI Director Comey’s firing
http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/10/politics/trump-fires-comey-latest/index.html

Pence Calls Comey Firing ‘Right Decision’ as Democrats Pounce
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/democrats-charge-comey-firing-nixonian-demand-special-prosecutor-n757121

Va. reporter arrested for ‘yelling questions’ at HHS secretary
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/05/10/w-virginia-reporter-arrested-yelling-questions-visiting-hhs-secretary-tom-price/101503242/