YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.05.18

House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA), one of the closest Congressional allies of popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп said on June 15, 2016 that, “There’s two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump.” McCarthy is also widely known in Congress as a fervent defender of Vladimir Putin and the Russian government.

When asked about this, McCarthy denied he said this, until he was told there was a tape. After he was told there was a tape of his remarks, McCarthy then said he was, “just kidding!”

Aides say this afternoon that McCarthy will switch his defense to, “It’s not that big of a deal!” then switch his defense to, “You guys are all so mean to me,” and then later to, “What do you mean I’m grounded, THIS IS SO UNFAIR!”

Reportedly, this is the same strategy being employed by Трамп and the White House. Rumors from the White House indicate that Трамп and McCarthy may be sent to bed soon without dinner.

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Yesterday, popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп tweeted that he was honored to host Turkish dictator Recep Tayyip Erdoğan at the White House. Dictator Erdoğan was invited to the White House by the Трамп regime. Трамп tweeted, “It was a great honor to welcome the President of Turkey, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, to the @WhiteHouse today!”

While the visit at the White House was going on, members of Erdoğan’s staff attacked a group of American demonstrators. One of Erdoğan’s staff was photographed choking an American woman. Video of the event shows DC police and other law enforcement trying to get control of the situation, as Erdoğan’s staff hit, kicked and hurt the protestors.

Sources say that when confronted about the issue, Трамп said, “That’s why he was here, to give me tips on how to deal with all of these protestors. Democracy and human rights, what are they good for? HEY! HEY! YOU! REMOVE THAT SECOND SCOOP OF ICE CREAM FROM YOUR BOWL RIGHT NOW!”

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The Justice Department on Wednesday appointed former FBI Director Robert Mueller as special counsel to oversee the federal investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election, including potential collusion between popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s campaign associates and Russian officials. Mueller was hired by former President and class clown George W. Bush in 2001, and was the first to serve a full term as FBI Director since J. Edgar Hoover. Former President and class cool-guy Barack Obama asked Mueller to serve an additional 2 years before Mueller retired in 2013.

When briefed on the news, current aspiring dictator and class bully Donald Трамп screamed at his staff, then sat on a toilet. He returned to work, took the advice of his team to issue a conciliatory and politically neutral statement, then went on Twitter and complained he was the target of a witch hunt.

In related news, staffing agencies in Washington D.C. have recently reported receiving a surge of resumes originating from the White House.

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Also, Roger Ailes, former Nixon White House employee, known sexual predator, and founder of Fox News is dead. Ailes was ousted from Fox News last year after several law suits about rampant sexual harassment by him were made public.

But don’t worry Fox News viewers, Fox will still remain as untruthful and terrible as it’s always been!

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I wonder if by the time this is published, a story will be published about Steve Bannon being found drunk at a rest stop in Pennsylvania? The way it’s going … the craziest thing is that Трамп inviting a dictator to the White House, and then the dicator’s staff beating up Americans DURING THE VISIT, might be the LEAST controversial thing that happened yesterday.

Yes, it’s all happening at once. No, Трамп is not playing 4D chess. Трамп is barely playing poker with a full deck.

Anyway, have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

House majority leader to colleagues in 2016: ‘I think Putin pays’ Trump
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/house-majority-leader-to-colleagues-in-2016-i-think-putin-pays-trump/2017/05/17/515f6f8a-3aff-11e7-8854-21f359183e8c_story.html?pushid=591cc76bfdd5491d00000055&tid=notifi_push_breaking-news&utm_term=.6c0698b066c6

It was a great honor to welcome the President of Turkey, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, to the @WhiteHouse today!
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/864565791076872192

Protesters injured outside Turkish embassy in DC after Trump-Erdogan meeting
http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/16/politics/anti-erdogan-protest-washington-turkish-embassy/

Erdogan bodyguard strangling a yazidi woman protester.
https://imgur.com/cFygrrz

Special counsel appointed in Russia probe
http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/17/politics/special-counsel-robert-mueller/index.html?adkey=bn

FBI Counterintelligence Agents Don’t Forgive or Forget
http://foreignpolicy.com/2013/05/31/spies-like-them/