YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.05.26

Greg Gianforte, the Republican candidate for the lone Congressional seat in the state of Montana, won 50.3% of the vote, and is the new Congressman for that state. Democrat Rob Quist won 43.8% of the vote, while Libertarian Mark Wicks got 5.7%.

Republicans are taking Gianforte’s win as proof that popular vote loser and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s base isn’t abandoning Trump despite a high-profile investigation into whether his campaign had ties to Russia.

Gianforte assaulted a reporter on the eve of the vote, a move that mirrors Трамп’s own assault of reporters and women. Choking a reporter, throwing him to the ground and breaking his glasses may have helped Gianforte win additional votes.

In a post-mortem, both the Quist and Wicks campaigns felt strongly that if they had gotten into a fist fight prior to the vote that they would have done better.

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Newly elected Congressman Greg Gianforte (R-MN) apologized to Ben Jacobs, a reporter for The Guardian that Gianforte assaulted a few days ago. Gianforte has been charged with misdemeanor assault over the incident. Yesterday, Gianforte claimed that Jacobs had started the fight, but today his apology is an admission that, yes, he did assault Ben Jacobs.

There is speculation that the apology may be enough to get the charges against Gianforte dropped.

I guess in Montana, law and order means as long as you apologize afterwards, you can beat up nerds in glasses. Who knew that Montana was like a 1980s movie high-school?

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Meanwhile, we turn to Texas, another state where people wear cowboy hats and don’t like nerds. In Channelview, Texas, seventh grade student Lizeth Villanueva received an award during a ceremony at her school, Anthony Aguirre Junior High. She was won of several students given award certificates at the ceremony.

The award? Latino student Lizeth Villanueva, a student in advanced academic program, was given the award, “Most Likely to Become a Terrorist.” Villanueva has never been a discipline problem at the school. The award was given to her the day after a suicide bombing in Manchester, England took the lives of 22 people, and injured 59 others.

When asked by a reporter why Villeanueva was given the award, the teacher in question spokes in hushed tones and said, “It was an oke-jay because she’s an immigrant-ay.”

When the reporter said, “Pardon? Can you repeat that?” the teacher in question sighed and said more loudly, “IT WAS AN OKE-JAY BECAUSE SHE’S AN IMMIGRANT-AY!”

When the reporter said, “Pardon?” one more time, the teacher assaulted the reporter and said, “IT WAS A JOKE BECAUSE SHE WAS AN IMMIGRANT! IT WAS A JOKE BECAUSE SHE WAS AN IMMIGRANT! WE CALLED HER A TERRORIST BECAUSE SHE’S A BROWN KID!”

In a related story, the teacher in question is now being considered for a run for Congress by the GOP.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

What Greg Gianforte’s win in Montana taught Washington
http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/26/politics/gianforte-montana-win-meaning/index.html

Republican Charged With Assault Claims Win in Montana Special Election
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/elections/polls-close-montana-s-suddenly-famous-special-congressional-election-n764866

Teachers give ‘Most Likely to Become a Terrorist’ award to 13-year-old girl
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2017/05/26/texas-officials-apologize-for-terrorist-award-given-student/102185486/