Last week, the US Congress passed a bill imposing fresh sanctions over Russia’s meddling in the US’ 2016 election. And this week in response, President Vladimir Putin ordered the US to cut staff at its Russian embassy and forced some US diplomats home.
The White House had no comment on the matter, because White House Communications director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was busy preparing comments about his pending divorce from his wife for the morning talk shows. Some of those comments include, “Leave my family out of ‘dis,” “You come at me wit’ a knife, I come at you wit’ a gun, you put one a my guys in da’ hospital, I put one a your guys in da’ morgue, dat’s the White House way!,” and, “This ain’t personal, it’s business.”
There’s no word yet on precisely how many movies The Mooch plans to quote during his tenure in the White House.
The White House’s commission on voter integrity begins work this week but is divided on the key question their tasked with answering: Is there widespread fraud at the ballot box?
One thing they all agree upon, though, is that there’s widespread fraud at the White House, but nobody is going to talk about that.
Millions in anonymous donations are being sent directly to Super PACs supporting popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, despite Трамп’s repeated calls to “drain the swamp” in Washington of special-interest money.
White House aides say that Трамп doesn’t see those anonymous donations as swamp water, instead noting that, “it’s more like, we’re getting champagne. Because seriously, with the amount of money we’re getting in, we could bathe in champagne.”
Sources say Melania Трамп is planning to spend the donation money on a new shower that sprays Moët & Chandon, while her husband Donald will spend the money watching different kinds of showers get sprayed.
Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!
Putin hits back at sanctions bill by gutting US missions
Trump Vote Fraud Commission Members Divided on Key Issue
Secret donations are helping to boost President Trump’s agenda, fights with investigators
Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …