Since General John Kelly took over as White House Chief of Staff, popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп has managed to stay on message all week, touting achievements instead of venting his anger on Twitter.


The bar is now so low that in some circles, people have literally already forgotten his behavior from less than a week, and Трамп is thus, “more Presidential” thanks to the General.

Aides say that General Kelly is keeping Трамп in line by withholding ice-cream from him every time he’s naughty. This plan is expected to work until Трамп discovers where the ice-cream is stored in the White House.


Sources close to the White House have said that General Kelly is planning to install childproof locks on all White House freezers within the next week.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump keeps social media on-message during Kelly’s first week


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