Steve Bannon returned to Breitbart News as executive chairman on Friday following his resignation from the White House and chaired the white nationalist news organization’s evening editorial meeting.

Sources say that Bannon is using a temporary sarcophagus to sleep in until his full chamber can be moved from the White House bowling alley back to Breitbart News. A spokesperson for Breitbart told news sources that, “It’s tricky moving Bannon’s sleeping chambers. You have to do all of these demon rites, if you get one wrong, you can get sucked into a hell dimension.”

Bannon will continue using Kellyanne Conway as his horcrux despite leaving the White House.


A group of white nationalists calling themselves simply “libertarians and conservatives” is planning a “Boston Free Speech Rally” this weekend.

The “rally” is “expected” to be about “family values” like “reverse-racism is real” and “How to be an Alpha Male and red pill your way to bedroom success.”


Billionaire Carl Icahn Friday announced his departure as a special adviser to President Trump on regulatory reform, saying he wanted to avoid “partisan bickering” that “cloud” the White House administration.

After the announcement, millions of Americans asked outloud, “Who’s Carl Icahn?”

Seriously, what does that guy do?

FYI: Whoever knows the answer to “Who’s Carl Icahn” is probably the one friend that like, always figures out how much everyone owes for the tip when you eat out together.

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Steve Bannon returns to Breitbart after ouster from White House

Thousands Expected to Attend Boston Protests of Right-Wing Rally

Carl Icahn steps down as special regulatory adviser to President Trump


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