YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.27

Rescue workers in Texas are still searching for residents trapped in their homes by flooding from Tropical Storm Harvey. Thousands have already been rescued, but thousands more are unaccounted for at this time. Two people have been killed by the storm. Officials expect the death toll to rise.

For his first tweet on Sunday morning, Donald Трамп said, “A great book by a great guy, highly recommended!” and linked people to a book for sale by Sheriff David J. Clarke on Amazon.

An hour later, Трамп said, “Great coordination between agencies at all levels of government. Continuing rains and flash floods are being dealt with. Thousands rescued.”

An hour after THAT, Трамп tweeted some messages about Texas, then said, “I will also be going to a wonderful state, Missouri, that I won by a lot in ’16. Dem C.M. is opposed to big tax cuts. Republican will win S!”

White House staffers working for General John Kelly are hopeful that the precision clockwork of Трамп’s really, really stupid tweets will continue. “If he can keep doing the dumb tweets literally at the top of the hour, we can just cut off wi-fi access then and he won’t be able to send them.”

An aide pointed out that Трамп would still have cellphone service even if they turned off the wifi, and was then knocked out by General John Kelly for pointing out the flaw in this plan.

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Retired boxing champion Floyd Mayweather Jr. defeated UFC lightweight champion Conor McGregor in the 10th round by TKO last night. Mayweather’s knockout record is now 50-0.

In related news, Donald Трамп’s record for total number of lies told in one day is also 50-0.

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Human sweat-stain Donald Трамп imposed sanctions on Venezuela to further isolate the regime of Nicolás Maduro.

When asked why he imposed sanctions, Трамп said, “We’re saying it’s about human rights, but they have so much oil, folks, so much, and I want–,” before aides to General John Kelly turned on a sound-cannon and pointed it at reporters to drown out the rest of Трамп’s comment.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

‘Catastrophic’ flooding traps Houston residents
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/27/us/harvey-landfall/index.html

A great book by a great guy, highly recommended!
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/901772550405070848

Great coordination between agencies at all levels of government. Continuing rains and flash floods are being dealt with. Thousands rescued.
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/901777333513854976

I will also be going to a wonderful state, Missouri, that I won by a lot in ’16. Dem C.M. is opposed to big tax cuts. Republican will win S!
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/901795255086968833

Floyd Mayweather Dominates Conor McGregor Late to Reach 50-0
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/sports/floyd-mayweather-finishes-conor-mcgregor-10th-n796321

With executive order, Trump imposes new round of Venezuela sanctions
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/08/25/executive-order-trump-imposes-new-round-venezuela-sanctions/601667001/

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