YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.10

Category 4 Hurricane Irma hit Cudjoe Key, Florida this morning at 9:10 a.m. ET with winds of 130 mph according to the National Hurricane Center. In response, Donald Трамп offered condolences to people affected by the storm, but also asked for tax cuts.

“I think now, with what’s happened with the hurricane, I’m gonna ask for a speed up,” he said. “I wanted a speed up anyway, but now we need it even more so. So we need to simplify the tax code, reduce taxes very substantially on the middle class, and make our business tax more globally competitive. We’re the highest anywhere in the world right now.”

Reports say that Hurricane Irma has agreed to leave the United States alone if it’s capital gains taxes are reduced to zero. “I have a lot of offshore accounts and owe a lot of money,” Irma told reporters over a muffled phone line that was probably just Donald Трамп talking to them from the bathroom, pretending to be Irma.

Reporters on the scene in the White House dispute this account, and claim the voice of Irma over the phone was Kellyanne Conway.

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Senator Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) and Senator Kamala Harris (D-California) are working on the Pretrial Integrity and Safety Act. The bill aims to overhaul the nation’s bail system in an attempt to prevent what happened to Walker from happening to others. The bill aims to reduce excessively high-bail amounts, which can sometimes result in hundreds of thousands in bail fines to people over things like minor parking infractions.

Senator Harris said she supports the bill because she wants to help people. She said, “we must come together to reform a bail system that is discriminatory, wasteful and fails to keep our communities safe.”

Senator Paul told reporters that he supports the bill because he’s expecting more than a few of his Republican colleagues to need to make bail in the coming years.

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Far-right conservative radio host and possible human-lizard hybrid Mark Levin said Donald Трамп is not a leader for agreeing to with Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer and Representative Nancy Pelosi.

“That’s not what a leader does,” Levin said. “He doesn’t throw in with leftists because the clowns who lead the Republican party are clowns. How does that work?”

When asked exactly what liberal legislation Donald Трамп had actually passed with his cordial behavior, Levin said, “Libtard Benghazi Email Russia Russia Russia Libtard SHEEPLE!” then ripped off his microphone and stormed out of the room.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump on Irma: ‘We’ve never seen anything like this’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/09/politics/trump-irma/index.html

Rand Paul and Kamala Harris Team Up to Reform Bail Practices
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/rand-paul-kamala-harris-team-reform-bail-practices-n794031

The Bubble: ‘Trump sold us out’ say conservatives after deal with ‘Chuck and Nancy’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/09/10/conservatives-attack-trump-after-deal-with-democrats/644523001/

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