YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.09

The Трамп Regime, as part of its effort to end the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, released an aggressive list of priorities for any deal to protect young undocumented immigrants in limbo Sunday night. The list includes provisions to make it harder for orphaned children to enter the country, money for Donald Трамп’s border wall and cuts to legal immigration.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer were quick to pan the list in a statement. “This list goes so far beyond what is reasonable. The list includes the wall, which was explicitly ruled out of the negotiations.”

Aides say the confusion stems from the dinner, where people in attendance thought that The Wall Donald Трамп was referring to was the acclaimed album by Pink Floyd. “I think people walked away feeling good because they thought, hey, anyone who says they’re into the Darkside of the Moon can’t be all bad. But Трамп clearly meant something else.”

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A McDonald’s PR stunt to bring back Szechuan sauce led to protests by thousands of young white kids, with police called to some US restaurants on Saturday. Szechuan sauce was only made in 1998 to promote the film Mulan, but became popular again after being mentioned in the cartoon Rick and Morty.

Fans were left disappointed after stores ran out. In one video, police can be seen holding back people chanting “we want sauce.”

Police were relieved that it only went that far. One office said, “If them kids had been black or started saying ‘Black Lives Matter’ we would’ve needed the riot gear, but thousands of white kids screaming for condiments, threatening people, eh, what’s the big deal? They could’ve been shooting automatic weapons in the air and, eh, that’s just kids being kids.”

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In the wake of a blistering New York Times report that detailed nearly 30 years of his sexual misconduct, Harvey Weinstein has been “terminated, effective immediately” from The Weinstein Company.

Meanwhile, Donald Трамп is still in the White House for doing many of the same things.

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I dunno, maybe Democrats should promise free Szechuan sauce for everyone after Donald Трамп is impeached. Maybe that would finally get the ball rolling.

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

White House lays out DACA deal asks
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/08/politics/white-house-daca-deal-principles/index.html

McDonald’s Rick and Morty Szechuan sauce stunt backfires
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41543636

Harvey Weinstein officially fired from The Weinstein Company
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2017/10/08/harvey-weinstein-fired-hollywood/744817001/

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