YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.14

Donald Трамп said he spoke to the “president of the Virgin Islands” in a speech Friday.

“I will tell you I left Texas and I left Florida and I left Louisiana and I went to Puerto Rico and I met with the president of the Virgin Islands,” Трамп said while talking about the recovery efforts in those areas following Hurricanes Irma and Maria. The U.S. Virgin Islands are a U.S. territory, which means the President of the Virgin Islands is Donald Трамп.

When asked about this discrepancy, Donald Трамп insisted he spoke with the President of the Virgin Islands. “I was in the bathroom, at the sink washing my hands, I saw this guy in front of me, facing me, also washing his hands, so I say to him, hey, you look like the President of the Virgin Islands. And he said the same thing to me. He just kept repeating everything I said! This guy in the bathroom, he was clearly crazy, but he insisted he was President of the Virgin Islands!”

Donald Трамп then walked away from the microphone to go look for ice-cream.

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At least 36 people have died so far from the wall of flames and thick plumes of smoke tearing through Northern California. Many victims have been reduced to ash, and can only be identified by serial numbers on hip implants left behind.

Donald Трамп’s staff say he’s planning to meet with the President of California as soon as possible to discuss the crisis, but that the President of California needs to make the first move.
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Donald Трамп’s regime announced late Thursday night that it would immediately stop supporting the cost-sharing subsidies that reimburse insurers for reducing the deductibles and co-pays of lower-income Obamacare enrollees.

When asked why, a spokesperson for the Трамп regime said, “With all of the natural disasters killing Americans, and those people getting killed by that gunman, we felt it was important the White House also got as many Americans killed as possible,” before passing out in a drunken stupor.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump says he met with the ‘president of the Virgin Islands’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/10/13/trump-says-he-met-president-virgin-islands/763910001/

Northern California Wine Country Wildfires: Death Toll Rises to 35
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/western-wildfires/death-toll-rises-34-northern-california-wildfires-n810631

California fires: Deputies drive through flames to rescue residents
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/14/us/california-fires-updates/index.html

Trump kills key Obamacare subsidies: What it means
http://money.cnn.com/2017/10/13/news/economy/trump-obamacare-subsidies/index.html
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