A call to police about “shots fired” at a church in eastern Tennessee turned out to be an accidental shooting during a discussion on using weapons to protect the congregation, police say.

Church members say that this is a clear sign that during a shooting event, God probably wants them to shoot each other.

When asked for a comment, God sighed and said, “I’m, look, I’m retired. The Deists are right, I’m working on a new project now, quit asking me about these goofballs on Earth.”


AC/DC co-founder Malcolm Young died today at age 64. And 70s heart-throb David Cassidy was hospitlized in critical condition for organ failure.

Meanwhile, Keith Richards drank a gallon of gasoline and was then run over by a car before playing a full concert.

Richards later plans on letting a shark eat him, “Just to see what happens when I come out the otherside.”


The Трамп regime threatened to close the Washington D.C. office of the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) office in Washington. The latest tensions could be a setback for Jared “The Kush” Kushner’s attempt to broker Middle East peace.

The biggest setback for Middle East peace, however, is that the efforts are being led by Jared Kushner.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Couple shot in church while discussing gun safety, police say

AC/DC co-founder Malcolm Young dies at 64

David Cassidy hospitalized with organ failure, needs liver transplant

State Department threatens to close PLO office in Washington


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