YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.31

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In hindsight, most reporters should’ve known there was something nefarious about George Papadapoulos because of the HYDRA bling he insisted on wearing. 

Speaking of Russialago, it looks like the whole Trump Russia affair began with Trump advisor George Papadopoulos, when he told Australian diploma, Alexander Downer during a meeting in London in May 2016 that Russia had thousands of emails that would embarrass Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton. Downer is Australia’s top diplomat in Britain.

Donald Трамп denies the claim, and said his affair with Putin began at least ten years ago.

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South Korea has seized an oil-tanker from Panama that was attempting to sell oil to North Korea. This is the second ship that the South Korean government has caught attempting to evade UN sanctions.

Aides say that Donald Трамп will comment after he gets permission from Vladimir Putin.

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In Houston, Texas, police arrested a man they say was found with several guns and ammunition in his Hyatt Regency hotel room downtown. He was drunk and harassing other guests prior to his arrest and the discovery of the arsenal. It looked like he was planning to shoot people at the Hyatt during their New Year’s Eve celebration.

Texas officials were pretty sure he was in ISIS, until they decided the potential shooter was a crazy loner because he’s a white guy.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

South Korea seizes second ship amid North Korea sanctions row
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/31/asia/north-korea-ship-seizure-intl/index.html

Papadopoulos brag to Australian diplomat was key factor in FBI’s Russia probe: report
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/papadopoulos-brag-australian-diplomat-was-key-factor-fbi-s-russia-n833691

Man found with guns, ammunition in Houston hotel room
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2017/12/31/houston-man-found-guns-ammunition-downtown-hotel-room/993235001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.30

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“Of COURSE it looks like real hair. What am I saying, it IS your real hair Donald, everyone knows that. You look great mysh moya!”

The Russian Supreme Court has supported the Russian Central Election Commission decision to bar opposition leader Alexei Navalny from running against Vladimir Putin in the 2018 presidential election.

When asked for a comment, Donald Трамп said, “Great idea! We should do the same thing!”

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Margarita Simonyan, the editor-in-chief of Kremlin-funded news organization RT, said, “You don’t have to be afraid of us anymore.” RT was recently named in a report about Russian election interference 27 times.

In response, my neighbor Gary said, “I ain’t afraid of squat, but white people are going to white people, y’know?”

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Iranian cities have recently seen protests against their government, to counter government supported rallies marking the eighth anniversary of a crackdown on mass public unrest that followed the disputed 2009 election.

When told about the news, Donald Трамп said on Twitter, “Iranian govt should respect their people’s rights, including right to express themselves!”

Later, when told about a rally planned soon at Трамп tower to protest his regime, Трамп said, “These people need to get jobs, lock them up!”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Russian court upholds ban barring opposition leader from 2018 election
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/30/europe/alexei-navalny-russia-court/index.html

U.S. needn’t fear Russia, RT editor-in-chief Margarita Simonyan says
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/u-s-needn-t-fear-russia-rt-editor-chief-margarita-n831736

Iran tells public to avoid ‘illegal gatherings’ as protests enter third day
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/12/30/iran-tells-public-avoid-illegal-gatherings-protests-enter-third-day/992126001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.29

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“Is China the one where you get eggrolls? Or is that Korea? Which one has the Sushi? I  hate Sushi. Hey, how are hat sales going? We should make make some that say ‘No Collusion’ …”

South Korea has seized a Hong Kong-registered ship that allegedly transferred oil to a North Korean vessel in violation of United Nations sanctions. The ship is registered to a Taiwan shipping company.

Donald Трамп quickly laid blame for the illegal oil transfer on the People’s Republic of China, even though the ship is a Taiwanese vessel. When asked about the discrepancy, Donald Трамп said, “You know what you should really be asking? Why don’t the Chinese make sure there are enough fortune cookies for EVERYBODY when you get takeout? Huh? What about that?”

It’s unclear at this time if Donald Трамп understands that China doesn’t manage Chinese take-out restaurants in the United States.

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NBC News reported today that Donald Трамп’s ‘America First’ policy has isolated U.S. from world leaders, including dropping a record number of bombs on the Middle East.

The other thing that’s isolating the U.S. from other world leaders is that Donald Трамп is a jerk-off.

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USA Today had an article today for anyone who has enough disposable income to buy an Alexa: a series of special commands you should try with Alexa!

Among USA Today’s suggestions …

  • “Alexa, play Maroon 5.”
  • “Alexa, set the volume to six.”
  • “Alexa, how many liters in a gallon?”

Among the suggestions my neighbor had for Alexa included the important question …

  • “Alexa, are you harvesting my soul at night when I’m asleep?”

When I asked Alexa, it said, “Hmm, I’m not able to answer that question.”

Yeah.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

South Korea seizes ship it claims transferred oil to North Korea
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/29/asia/north-korea-hong-kong-oil-intl/index.html

Trump’s ‘America First’ policy has isolated U.S. from world leaders
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/analysis-trump-s-america-first-foreign-policy-isolates-u-s-n833046

The best Alexa commands to try with your new Amazon Echo
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/columnist/komando/2017/12/29/best-alexa-commands-try-your-new-amazon-echo/989895001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.28

Donald Трамп’s tweet Tuesday morning calling the Russia dossier “bogus” is likely an acknowledgement that he’s seen it, and had findings presented to him by the intelligence community, at least according to a new lawsuit filed by people seeking official government information about the dossier.

Upon hearing the news, a prostitute in Queens said, “I know for a FACT that The Donald likes that pee-pee stuff, because he’s paid me to–,” before being whisked away by unnamed members of the White House.

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Donald Трамп contemplating whether he’s more into pee stuff or butt stuff

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Roy Moore’s campaign launched a last-minute court battle late Wednesday to block his loss in Alabama’s special Senate election from becoming official.

Moore told his supporters, “It’s clear there was fraud, look at all those black people who voted!” before his microphone was cut off by unnamed members of the White House.

When asked why they stopped Moore from speaking, a spokesperson for the White House said, “We’re racist, but not THAT kind of racist.”

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California is launching legal marijuana sales Monday.

By Tuesday, it’s expected most of the state will forget about the new law.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump’s tweets central to legal cases on dossier, travel ban and more
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/28/politics/trump-tweets-legal-cases-official-statements/index.html

Roy Moore alleges voter fraud, files challenge to election defeat
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/elections/roy-moore-alleges-voter-fraud-files-challenge-election-defeat-n833041

Legal marijuana arriving in California after decades of underground dealing
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/12/28/legal-marijuana-arriving-california-after-decades-underground-dealing/975323001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.27

Former US President Barack Obama was interviewed by Britain’s Prince Harry for the BBC recently. He warned about the dangers of leader using social media in divisive ways.

“One of the dangers of the internet is that people can have entirely different realities,” Obama said.

Immediately after the interview aired, Donald Трамп tweeted that he was really the first black president but then deleted the tweet.

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He’s been working on a better comeback Tweet all morning!

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Experts in the war on terror are warning that ISIS is retreating into a “virtual caliphate” and will still be a threat in 2018.

“The war has yet to be won, and if it’s ever going to be won it’s going to take many more years, and many more civilians will lose their lives,” said Peter Vincent, a counterterrorism expert and former Department of Homeland Security official.

So, for all the counterterrorism experts who expected not to be on TV next year, great news!

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The Library of Congress announced Tuesday that it will no longer archive every single public Tweet that passes through the Twittersphere. The reason they gave was that there are too many visual tweets, life GIFS, to properly archive.

So, I guess the Library of Congress and Twitter are just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  💔 😞

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Obama warns over divisive social media use in Prince Harry interview
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/27/politics/obama-prince-harry-interview-social-media-intl/index.html

ISIS will remain a threat in 2018, experts warn
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/isis-terror/isis-will-remain-threat-2018-experts-warn-n828146

Library of Congress will no longer archive every tweet
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/12/27/library-congress-no-longer-archive-every-tweet/983606001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.26

fascis_disco_queen.pngThe historic Jackson Magnolia, a tree that has been in place since the 1800s, will be cut down and removed from the White House. The decision to remove the tree from the White House was made by First Lady Melania Трамп. Reports say that the reason the tree is being removed is because it’s old and diseased.

In related news, reports say that Melania Трамп would also like to remove Donald from the White House for the same reasons.

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The wave of lawsuits against powerful men who’ve sexually harassed and assaulted women has got lawmakers rethinking statutes of limitations for those crimes. Many lawmakers would like to completely remove them in the case of sexual assault.

The exception is a least one Republican lawmaker in the White House who’s name rhymes with “Ronald Dump.”

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Justice Department Inspector General Michael Horowitz has worked for the last year on a  wide-ranging review of Federal government handling of Hillary Clinton’s emails.

Pundits are expecting a good chunk of 2018 news to be devoted once again to Hillary Clinton emails, much to the delight of your one facebook friend who could never let it go.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Exclusive: Iconic White House tree to be cut down
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/26/politics/white-house-jackson-magnolia-south-facade/index.html

Sex misconduct cases spur rethinking of statute of limitations
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/sex-misconduct-cases-spur-rethinking-statute-limitations-n822286

Analysis: The quiet probe into Clinton email investigation could be a landmine for Robert Mueller
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/12/26/analysis-quiet-probe-into-clinton-email-investigation-could-landmine-robert-mueller/965396001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.25

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.24

The Moscow Ballet is performing its “Great Russian Nutcracker” across the United States. This performance includes a moment where the principal character, Masha, is given a Dove of Peace during the Christmas party scene.

The other Great Russian Nutcracker, Vladimir Putin, will give Donald Трамп a cash bonus by New Years.

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Decades of conflict and political instability have all but destroyed Afghanistan’s once-thriving heritage and tourism industry, but new efforts are being made to promote the country’s spectacular riches. Among Afghanistan’s top attractions is Band-e-Amir, the country’s first national park, created in 2009.

Afghan officials promise that during tourist visits to Band-e-Amir, the Taliban and U.S. Coalition forces will only detonate a maximum of three bombs.

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Hobby Lobby from Flickr via Wylio
© 2009 hattiesburgmemory, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Hobby Lobby craft store chain owners Steve and Jackie Green recently opened the $500 million Museum of the Bible in Washington D.C.

It has more than 3,000 artifacts, including fragments of the Dead Sea Scrolls, a first edition of the King James Bible, and a one-ton stone from the Western Wall.

Some artifacts are still in boxes waiting to be put onto the floor, including the Ark of the Covenant. Museum officials are having a hard time getting the Ark on the floor, because it keeps disintegrating everyone who touches it.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Moscow Ballet’s ‘Great Russian Nutcracker’ promotes peace
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/24/entertainment/moscow-ballet-nutcracker/index.html

Afghanistan’s Bamiyan province starts tourism revival with national park
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/afghanistan-s-bamiyan-province-starts-tourism-revival-national-park-n830741

The Museum of the Bible debuts in the nation’s capital
https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/roadwarriorvoices/2017/12/24/museum-bible-debuts-nations-capital/978114001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.23

Donald Трамп is taking a Christmas vacation at his compound in Mar-a-Lago, Florida.

I guess he must also be really creeped out by those decorations Melania put up at the White House.

There’s no word on whether or not his wife and son will join in him in Mar-A-Lago, because why would there be?

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Kmart Corp. has agreed to pay $32.3 million to settle a lawsuit about overcharging federal health care programs and some private insurers for generic prescription drugs.

Kmart will still overcharge consumers for batteries, however.

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Lt. Gov. Randy McNally of Oak Ridge, Tennessee and House Speaker Beth Harwell of Nashville approved new rules at the state office building that prohibit “hand-carried signs and signs on hand sticks” because they “represent a serious safety hazard.” Guns, however, are allowed in the building.

As a compromise, local activists will instead bring automatic weapons to the state office, and use them to shoot messages into the walls.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump reunites with his kitchen cabinet in Mar-a-Lago
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/23/politics/trump-kitchen-cabinet/index.html

Kmart to pay $32.3M to settle health care-related whistleblower case
https://www.nbcnews.com/business/consumer/kmart-pay-32-3m-settle-health-care-related-whistleblower-case-n832331

Guns yes, hand-held signs no in Tennessee lawmakers’ new offices
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/12/23/guns-allowed-signs-banned/976666001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.22

Russian foreign secretary Sergey Lavrov said there were problems with British and Russian relations, and that the relationship was at a, “low point.”

UK Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson was heard off-camera crying and saying, “But I’m doing everything you want! We left Europe for you! I don’t want to get a divorce!”

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Hugh Jackman is playing P.T. Barnum in the new movie “The Greatest Showman.” The performance has been described as delightful, and replaces the real P.T. Barnum’s violent racism, misogyny and greed with showmanship and charm.

Reports say that Jackman is being eyed by the White House to play Donald Трамп in a new Fox News biopic for unrelated reasons.

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United Kingdom passports will go from burgundy to blue as part of their separation from the European Union. British passports were last blue in 1988.

Also blue? Britains being forced to leave the European Union that don’t want to go.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Russia-UK relations at ‘a very low point’ – Lavrov
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/22/europe/russia-uk-relations-lavrov-johnson-intl/index.html

Hugh Jackman’s role as P.T. Barnum helps erase the showman’s violent racism
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/hugh-jackman-s-role-p-t-barnum-helps-erase-showman-ncna831991

Blue for Brexit: British passports to change color post-divorce
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/12/22/brexit-british-passports-change-color-post-divorce/975962001/

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