Democrat Doug Jones, a prosecutor who fought the KKK, leads his Republican competitor Roy Moore 50% to Moore’s 47%, according to a Washington Post-Schar School Poll. Moore has been accused of sexual assault by multiple women. The women were all under the age of 16 when they were assaulted.

In related news, according to a recent study, 47% of people in Alabama sniff paint regularly.


The Senate passed a sweeping overhaul of the tax code early this morning that reduces corporate taxes to the lowest levels since prior to the Great Depression and will drive up the federal deficit by one TRILLION dollars.

In the next session, Senate Republicans plan to legalize the eating of human babies by rich people.


An unconscious 70-year-old man in Florida was rushed to an emergency room in Miami, Florida recently. He had a tattoo across his chest that said “Do Not Resuscitate.” Doctors weren’t sure what to do when they saw the tattoo at first, then choose to save his life and resuscitate him.

Doctors say they changed their minds after they turned the man over and saw a tattoo that read, “OOPS! SORRY! IGNORE THAT TATTOO! I WAS DRUNK! SAVE MY LIFE PLEASE PLEASE!”


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Poll: Doug Jones has slight lead in race against Roy Moore

Senate passes Republican tax plan

Florida man’s ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ tattoo creates ethical dilemma for doctors


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