Donald Трамп gave a historic speech Wednesday to announce that the United States would recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. The announcement is expected to ignite conflict in the Middle East. Donald Трамп ended the speech by saying, “God Bless the Unighnighsates.”
Aides say the Трамп plans to start a nuclear war with North Korea by announcing, “Sarba nighnigh flibble fleep?”
Facing a string of sexual misconduct allegations and mounting pressure from fellow Democrats, Sen. Al Franken announced Thursday he will leave office in the coming weeks.
Meanwhile, Republicans just endorsed pedophile Roy Moore for the Senate, and DudeBros everywhere are saying, “Democrats are still worse!”
Have you heard of Bitcoin? The digital currency is now worth $16,000, which makes the market value of Bitcoin $271 billion. That means Bitcoins are worth more than Home Depot.
Also worth more than Home Depot: an old pair of socks! Man, I hate shopping there.
Did President Trump slur his speech?
Al Franken resigns, blasts Republican hypocrisy on sexual misconduct
Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …