Four Palestinians were killed and hundreds wounded Friday in the West Bank and Gaza during clashes between Israeli troops and protesters opposed to Donald Трамп’s recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.

In response to the crisis, Donald Трамп plans to drink Diet Coke and scream at his television.


Secretary of State Rex Tillerson stepped back Friday from his offer of unconditional talks with North Korea, telling world powers the nuclear-armed nation must earn the right to negotiate with the United States.

Tillerson said the best way for North Korea to earn points would be for Kim Jong Un to stay at Трамп International Resorts.

With enough points, Tillerson believes North Korea could also earn a free continental breakfast!


NASA’s planet-hunting Kepler space telescope discovered an eighth planet orbiting a star known as Kepler-90.  The planet, dubbed Kepler-90i, is a hot, rocky planet that orbits its star every 14.4 days.

NASA will begin booking trips to Kepler-90i for anyone who wants to escape Трамп’s America within the week.


Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Four dead, hundreds wounded as protests over Jerusalem hit second week

Tillerson retreats on offer of unconditional North Korea talks

NASA’s Kepler finds solar system like ours with eight planets


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