YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.19

Former Pentagon official Luis Elizondo told CNN’s Erin Burnett there’s evidence of extraterrestrial life on Earth. Elizondo led a recently revealed government UFO research program.

When asked what his primary evidence is that extraterrestrials are on Earth, Elizondo said, “Andy Dick’s career. I mean, that guy, he’s a mess, he’s not that funny … yet there he is! Aliens. ALIENS!”

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The US Coast Guard found a sea turtle trapped in 26 bales of cocaine in the Pacific Ocean recently.

After the Coast Guard freed the turtle, it ran around the deck for twenty minutes screaming, “Let’s race that rabbit now! LET ME RACE THE RABBIT NOW DAMNIT!”

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Amazon says they’re going to sell Apple TVs and Google Chromecasts on their website again. Amazon stopped selling the devices in 2015.

Consumers everywhere rejoiced, some breaking down in tears. One woman, 98 year old Clementine Manflerksonbergen, has been waiting since 2015 to buy both a Chromecast and an Apple TV from Amazon.com.

“I know I could buy them anywhere, but, I had to buy them from Amazon.com. It was the only way my life could be complete,” Manflkersonbergen told reporters.

She died shortly the devices were marked delivered via Amazon Prime One Day shipping.

Rest In Peace Clementine Manflerksonbergen.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Former Pentagon UFO official: ‘We may not be alone’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/18/politics/luis-elizondo-ufo-pentagon/index.html

Coast Guard frees sea turtle trapped in floating cocaine bales
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/coast-guard-frees-sea-turtle-trapped-floating-cocaine-bales-n830816

Amazon to sell Apple TV, Google Chromecast again after spat
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/news/2017/12/19/amazon-sell-apple-tv-google-chromecast-again-after-spat/964099001/

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