YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.21

British Prime Minister Theresa May has fired UK Cabinet Minister Damian Green after he admitted lying over the presence of pornography on a computer in his parliamentary office.

Upon hearing the news, Donald Трамп announced that he wants to appoint Green to his new White House sexual harassment task-force.

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Attorney General Jeff Sessions ordered Justice Department prosecutors to ask FBI agents to reopen a dormant criminal investigation into a uranium deal that critics have linked to Hillary Clintons.

Reports say the FBI responded to the request by saying, “*sigh* okay, whatever.”

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Kohl’s and Toys R Us are staying open 24 hours a day until Christmas to cater to people who buy their gifts at the last-minute.

People who buy their gifts early rolled their eyes at the news, while everyone else rolled their eyes at the people who buy their gifts too early.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

British PM Theresa May fires closest political ally over porn scandal
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/20/europe/damian-green-resignation-uk-intl/index.html

Prosecutors ask FBI agents for info on Uranium One deal
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/prosecutors-ask-fbi-agents-info-uranium-one-deal-n831436

Kohl’s, Toys R Us to stay open around-the-clock until Christmas
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/nation-now/2017/12/21/kohls-toys-r-us-stay-open-around-clock-until-christmas/965081001/

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