YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.29

trump_ivanka.png
“Is China the one where you get eggrolls? Or is that Korea? Which one has the Sushi? I  hate Sushi. Hey, how are hat sales going? We should make make some that say ‘No Collusion’ …”

South Korea has seized a Hong Kong-registered ship that allegedly transferred oil to a North Korean vessel in violation of United Nations sanctions. The ship is registered to a Taiwan shipping company.

Donald Трамп quickly laid blame for the illegal oil transfer on the People’s Republic of China, even though the ship is a Taiwanese vessel. When asked about the discrepancy, Donald Трамп said, “You know what you should really be asking? Why don’t the Chinese make sure there are enough fortune cookies for EVERYBODY when you get takeout? Huh? What about that?”

It’s unclear at this time if Donald Трамп understands that China doesn’t manage Chinese take-out restaurants in the United States.

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NBC News reported today that Donald Трамп’s ‘America First’ policy has isolated U.S. from world leaders, including dropping a record number of bombs on the Middle East.

The other thing that’s isolating the U.S. from other world leaders is that Donald Трамп is a jerk-off.

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USA Today had an article today for anyone who has enough disposable income to buy an Alexa: a series of special commands you should try with Alexa!

Among USA Today’s suggestions …

  • “Alexa, play Maroon 5.”
  • “Alexa, set the volume to six.”
  • “Alexa, how many liters in a gallon?”

Among the suggestions my neighbor had for Alexa included the important question …

  • “Alexa, are you harvesting my soul at night when I’m asleep?”

When I asked Alexa, it said, “Hmm, I’m not able to answer that question.”

Yeah.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

South Korea seizes ship it claims transferred oil to North Korea
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/29/asia/north-korea-hong-kong-oil-intl/index.html

Trump’s ‘America First’ policy has isolated U.S. from world leaders
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/analysis-trump-s-america-first-foreign-policy-isolates-u-s-n833046

The best Alexa commands to try with your new Amazon Echo
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/columnist/komando/2017/12/29/best-alexa-commands-try-your-new-amazon-echo/989895001/

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