YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.01.05

Trump_hair.png
It’s unclear at this time if The Donald’s hair is the source of the bomb-cyclone

The whole Northeast and Midwest of the United States are worried about the bomb cyclone of dangerously frigid temperatures and gusty winds that walloped the region with a major blizzard.

The other bomb cyclone that everyone is worried about: Donald Трамп’s twitter account! We’ll see who he threatens with nuclear war next. At this rate, most likely Colorado!

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Donald Трамп ordered White House Counsel Don McGahn to stop Attorney General Jeff Sessions from recusing himself in the Justice Department’s investigation into potential ties between Russia and the Trump campaign, The New York Times and The Associated Press reported Thursday night. McGahn was unsuccessful.

Y’know, with any other presidency, this would be huge news and a major scandal. It doesn’t qualify as a Donald Трамп scandal, though. To be a Donald Трамп scandal, we’d need McGahn to be riding a donkey naked screaming, “No Excusal for Recusal!” while Donald Трамп live-tweeted the whole thing.

Even then, it’d be 50/50, with a good chance that Paul Ryan saying, “We support the President’s right to live-tweet naked donkey rides.”

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The big news today is a new book about the Трамп regime by Michael Wolff. Donald Трамп claims he never spoke with Wolff during the campaign, a claim that Wolff denies.

“I absolutely spoke to the president, whether he realized it was an interview or not, but it certainly wasn’t off the record,” Wolff told NBC’sToday show Friday.

As a reminder, Трамп also claims his hair is real.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Brutal cold moves in after ‘bomb cyclone’ hammers Northeast
http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/05/us/winter-storm-weather/index.html

Trump reported to have ordered lawyer to urge Sessions not to recuse himself
https://www.aol.com/article/news/2018/01/05/trump-reported-to-have-ordered-lawyer-to-urge-sessions-not-to-recuse-himself/23324687/

Michael Wolff, author of White House tell-all book, says he spent 3 hours with Trump on the project
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/01/05/author-white-house-tell-all-book-says-he-spent-3-hours-trump-project/1006641001/

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