YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.02.08

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Man, remember this guy? Thing is, yes, The Donald is on track to be worse.

Former President George W. Bush told an audience in Abu Dhabi Thursday that, “There’s pretty clear evidence that the Russians meddled” in the 2016 presidential election.

Most people agree that this is sort of like hearing Count Dooku tell an audience, “That Chancellor Palpatine, watch out for him!”

Other people disagree with the metaphor, and insist George W. Bush is more like Jar-Jar Binks.

 

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White House staff secretary Rob Porter resigned Wednesday, a day after a British newspaper reported that he had beaten two of his ex-wives.

Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders told reporters that it was “a personal decision Rob made,” and that he “will stay on to ensure a smooth transition.”

It’s unclear at this time if Rob Porter will beat any staffers before he resigns.

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Whole Foods stores across the country are facing shortages and empty shelves, after Amazon instituted a new “order-to-shelf” inventory system designed to prevent shortages.

Shoppers around the country are angry about the empty shelves they’re finding at stores.

When asked if they were equally as angry about homelessness in their cities, the shoppers all said, “Nope, just mad about the store shelves. I NEED MY GREEN GODDESS DRESSING!”

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Seriously, Whole Foods is fine and all, but there are other stores!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

George W. Bush says there is ‘pretty clear evidence’ Russia meddled in election
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/08/politics/george-w-bush-russian-meddling-abu-dhabi/index.html

White House aide Rob Porter resigns amid allegations of domestic abuse
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/white-house-aide-rob-porter-resigns-amid-allegations-domestic-abuse-n845611

Empty Whole Foods Market store shelves anger shoppers
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2018/02/08/empty-whole-food-market-store-shelves-anger-shoppers/308599002/

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