Republican lawmakers offered thoughts and prayers over the murder of 17 kids in Florida by a 19 year old gunman. The kids were killed with an AR-15, a gun that can shoot 45 rounds a minute.
When asked if any of the thoughts and prayers were for common sense gun control laws, Republican lawmakers said, “Pfft, duh, of course not!”
Human-shaped can of moldy spam Steve Bannon was interviewed by special counsel Robert Mueller over multiple days this week according to NBC News.
Reports say that Bannon gave testimony in pitch black rooms, to avoid any light that could cause his demon skin to burst into flames.
USA Today reported today that Australia hasn’t had a fatal mass shooting since 1996, due to focused gun control laws that restricted the sale of semi-automatic and automatic rifles.
When asked why they ran this story, a USA Today spokesperson said, “Well, this story gets run every time there’s a mass shooting in the United States, and it was our turn to run it this week.”
Rumors say that ABC News will report this after the next school shooting, most likely next week.
You don’t need a permit or license to buy a gun in Florida. (And you don’t have to register your gun either)
Steve Bannon met with Mueller multiple times over the past week
Australia hasn’t had a fatal mass shooting since 1996. Here’s what it did
Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …