YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.07.06

Three Central American parents are suing US immigration officials because they aren’t being given ample communication with their children.

Immigration official Skip Hoobless denied the claim, telling reporters, “What was good for me as a child is good for their children, I used to talk to my mom all the time using two cups and a string!”

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Republican Representative Jim Jordan of Ohio told Fox News on Friday that he never heard about members of the Ohio State University wrestling team being sexually abused by the team doctor.

“No one ever reported any abuse to me. I would have dealt with it,” Jordan told Bret Baier of Fox News.

Just after saying this, Jordan sneezed and blew mucus all over Baier. Jordan denied that Baier was covered in mucus and claimed, “It’s just love juice. That’s not snot. I didn’t sneeze. Love juice!”

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Kino Jimenez allegedly assaulted San Antonio, Texas teen Hunter Richard for wearing one of President Donald Трамп’s Make America Great Again hats and was arrested and charged with felony theft Thursday night.

San Antonio Police told reporters, “Regular people can’t just verbally assault people and take their property, who does this guy think he is, the President?”

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Y’know, if he keeps this up, Jim Jordan just might be an awful enough human liar that he could some day run for President. Watch our Трамп, there’s a new dummy in town!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Separated migrant parents sue US immigration officials for more communication with children
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/06/politics/separated-parents-children-border-lawsuit/index.html

Rep. Jim Jordan says he never heard locker-room talk of abuse by Ohio State doctor
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/rep-jim-jordan-says-he-never-heard-locker-room-talk-n889411

Suspect arrested after viral video shows teen attacked for wearing MAGA hat
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2018/07/06/teen-maga-hat-whataburger-theft/762422002/

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