YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.09.30

On Sunday, Kellyanne Conway told CNN that the FBI investigation into sexual assault and misconduct allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh is, “not meant to be a fishing expedition.”

Sources say that upon hearing this, Brett Kavanaugh got enraged, kicked a garbage can and said, “But I was looking forward to being on the lake and drinking beer!”

Kavanaugh then choked four FBI agents and apologized before falling asleep on a park bench and repeatedly telling neighbors, “I’m fine, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s. I’m fine. I just. I’ll sleep here. I’m fine. It’s fine.”

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In Allentown, Pennsylvania, a car exploded at 9.30pm Saturday killing several people and leading to a shelter-in-place order for nearby residents. Some FBI agents are helping local officials in the investigation.

The White House said that it would have been ALL FBI agents, “But SOME PEOPLE think that Brett Kavanaugh needs to be ‘investigated’ for ‘sexually assaulting women’ so, sorry Pennsylvania, guess your car explosion needs to wait!”

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Donald Трамп told a crowd at a West Virginia rally that he and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un “fell in love” after he read Kim’s “beautiful letters.”

Opponents of the White House believe that Трамп is lying about his relationship with Kim Jong Un. When asked why, an anonymous source said, “Because it’s not clear Трамп can read.”

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Haha, the President is an illiterate psychopath!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Kellyanne Conway: Kavanaugh investigation ‘not meant to be a fishing expedition’
https://www.cnn.com/2018/09/30/politics/kellyanne-conway-kavanaugh-fbi-cnntv/index.html

Pennsylvania car explosion kills three, prompting FBI investigation
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/pennsylvania-car-explosion-kills-one-prompting-fbi-investigation-n915176

President Donald Trump on Kim Jong Un: ‘We fell in love’ over ‘beautiful letters’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/09/30/trump-north-koreas-kim-love-beautiful-letters/1478834002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.09.15

CNN reported multiple acts of bravery during the destruction caused by Tropical Storm Florence throughout the United States. These included rescues from the Crisis Civilian Response Team in North Carolina, a 47-year old Marine who rescued people in his off-road military vehicle, and a crowd-funding campaign to help rescue a group of dogs.

Upon hearing the news, Donald Трамп told reporters, “Hey I rescued people, too, I rescued the MOST people. No one rescued more people than me, or has bigger hands, I picked up all the water from the flood myself. I bravely stopped the flood. You’re welcome.”

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Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Friday that former Secretary of State John Kerry was “actively undermining” U.S. policy on Iran by meeting several times recently with the Iranian foreign minister. Pompeo called Kerry’s meetings with Iran “unseemly and unprecedented” and “beyond inappropriate.”

In related news, a person in Buffalo, NY, exploded into a puddle of goo after their brain refused to process the hypocrisy of calling John Kerry “unseemly” and “inappropriate” after Donald Трамп paid off former porn-stars to keep his affairs with them quiet.

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USA Today reported that while wages are flat for most people, in some cities, wages are rising fast, creating boomtowns where people are flooding in. Among the boomtowns listed are San Francisco, Spokane, and Des Moines!

Upon hearing the news, Donald Трамп told his staff, “Hey, there’s more boomtowns, what about that city in Massachusetts, a bunch of wells exploded, that’s a boomtown, too. Fake News is underreporting boomtowns. Most boomtowns. No collusion!”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

With Florence’s death and destruction came acts of bravery and selflessness
https://www.cnn.com/2018/09/15/us/hurricane-florence-rescues/index.html

Trump, Pompeo bash ex-Secretary of State John Kerry on Iran talks
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/trump-pompeo-bash-ex-secretary-state-kerry-iran-talks-n909866

Americans are flocking to U.S. ‘boom towns’ where wages are rising fast
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/economy/2018/09/15/salary-rising-boom-town-cities/1278638002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.09.14

The 4,000-year-old Tomb of Mehu, hidden away from public eyes for more than 80 years, has opened near Giza, the home of the ancient pyramids. Tourists are flocking to the site to visit the home of an ancient Egyptian mummy.

Reports say that Steve Bannon is very upset that people are in his house.

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NBC News reported that at both Harvard and Yale, more freshmen identify as LGBTQ than as politically conservative.

Meanwhile at the University of Arizona, most freshmen report themselves as blackout drunk.

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Paul Menchaca, 31, of Arizona has been charged with multiple counts of sex abuse after he faked having Down syndrome and hired female caregivers to bathe him and change his diapers.

FYI: In Washington D.C., faking having Down syndrome and having people bathe you and change your diapers is called a “Naughty Mike Pence.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

4,000-year-old Egyptian Tomb of Mehu opens to the public for the first time
https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/egypt-tomb-mehu-africa/index.html

More Harvard, Yale freshmen identify as LGBTQ than as conservative, surveys find
https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/more-harvard-yale-freshmen-identify-lgbtq-conservative-surveys-find-n909781

Man faked Down syndrome, sexually abused women he hired to change his diaper, police say
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/09/14/man-allegedly-faked-down-syndrome-hired-women-change-his-diaper/1306857002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.09.08

CNN reported today that Officials in the Трамп regime met secretly with Venezuelan military officers who were plotting a coup against Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro.

It’s unclear at this time on whether they were offering or looking for advice.

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Last night, hip hop artist Cardi B was removed from a New York Fashion Week party after insulting Nicki Minaj.

Meanwhile, Donald Трамп has insulted literally the entire country multiple times and has yet to be removed from the White House.

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In South Dakota, Donald Трамп called for new libel laws during a rally to raise money for Republican Senatorial candidates.

Трамп wants Republicans to, “… Create some libel laws that when people say stuff bad about you, you could sue them!”

It’s unclear at this time if Трамп has a sense of irony.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

US met with Venezuela officers plotting coup
https://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2018/09/08/us-govt-venezuela-coup-plans-diamond-nr-vpx.cnn

Cardi B escorted out of fashion party after lunging at Nicki Minaj
https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/cardi-b-escorted-out-fashion-party-after-lunging-minaj-n907731

Trump goes to South Dakota, rails against media and calls for new libel laws
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2018/09/08/trump-noem-fundraiser-thune-rounds-new-libel-laws/1238366002/

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