On Sunday, Kellyanne Conway told CNN that the FBI investigation into sexual assault and misconduct allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh is, “not meant to be a fishing expedition.”

Sources say that upon hearing this, Brett Kavanaugh got enraged, kicked a garbage can and said, “But I was looking forward to being on the lake and drinking beer!”

Kavanaugh then choked four FBI agents and apologized before falling asleep on a park bench and repeatedly telling neighbors, “I’m fine, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s. I’m fine. I just. I’ll sleep here. I’m fine. It’s fine.”


In Allentown, Pennsylvania, a car exploded at 9.30pm Saturday killing several people and leading to a shelter-in-place order for nearby residents. Some FBI agents are helping local officials in the investigation.

The White House said that it would have been ALL FBI agents, “But SOME PEOPLE think that Brett Kavanaugh needs to be ‘investigated’ for ‘sexually assaulting women’ so, sorry Pennsylvania, guess your car explosion needs to wait!”


Donald Трамп told a crowd at a West Virginia rally that he and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un “fell in love” after he read Kim’s “beautiful letters.”

Opponents of the White House believe that Трамп is lying about his relationship with Kim Jong Un. When asked why, an anonymous source said, “Because it’s not clear Трамп can read.”


Haha, the President is an illiterate psychopath!

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Kellyanne Conway: Kavanaugh investigation ‘not meant to be a fishing expedition’

Pennsylvania car explosion kills three, prompting FBI investigation

President Donald Trump on Kim Jong Un: ‘We fell in love’ over ‘beautiful letters’


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