CNN correspondent and human armpit stain Corey Lewandowski refused to apologize Wednesday after he said, “Womp womp,” while Democratic National Committee adviser Zac Petkanas shared an anecdote about a 10-year-old girl with Down syndrome who had been taken from her mother at the southern border by US agents.
CNN plans to continue booking Lewandowski on their shows, banking that the ratings he’ll generate is worth keeping a sociopath on payroll.
Speaking of sociopaths, it looks like “great businessman” Donald Трамп has stuck America with yet another lousy deal thanks to his bad policies. It turns out that it costs $775 per child, per night to house migrant children forcibly separated from their parents.
It costs between $256 – $298 per person, per night to keep children with their parents. It also goes without saying that it would cost the government nothing not to put any of these families into privately-contracted government facilities in the first place.
When asked for a comment on the cost of the housing, a spokesperson for HHS said, “Well of course we’re paying more, how else are people going to cash in on this policy if we don’t?” before being whisked out of the room by agents of HYDRA.
On the lighter side of the news, Hola! USA reports that Eva Longoria and her husband José Bastón welcomed their son 6lb, 13oz son Santiago Enrique Bastón Tuesday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.
Upon hearing the news, White House official and Skeletor impersonator Stephen “I’m an Actual Nazi” Miller told his staff that he hopes to kidnap Santiago within a week and place him in custody. “I’m a horrible human being!” Miller said as he bit the head off of a puppy for the amusement of Donald Трамп.
Lewandowski refuses to apologize for ‘womp womp’ comment
Trump admin’s ‘tent cities’ cost more than keeping migrant kids with parents
Eva Longoria and husband Jose Baston welcome a baby boy
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