YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.15

Secretary of State and friend of Russia Rex Tillerson said Sunday the US is trying to stay in the Iran nuclear deal while hoping to achieve more from it, days after Donald Трамп threatened to pull the US out.

“We’re going to stay in,” Tillerson said in an interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper.

Tapper later tried to ask whether the U.S. would pull out before it’s too late but kept giggling.
————
During the same interview, Tillerson was asked point blank more than once whether he had called Donald Трамп a “moron.”

Tillerson said, “I’m not gonna deal with that petty stuff.”

Pundits have taken this to mean he’s no longer meeting with Donald Трамп on a regular basis.
————
Speaking of morons, Donald Трамп’s abrupt decision to cut off federal payments to insurers to support affordable health insurance for millions of low-income Americans reverberated through the country Saturday. Republican lawmakers in Washington D.C. are concerned that they’ll have to do something about the situation.

“We’ve gotten really used to just pretending to work, and this time, if we don’t do something, people could really get hurt bad. Including us, we could lose our jobs this time!” said Speaker of the House Paul Ryan while doing curls in the Congressional gym.
————
Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Tillerson: US trying to stay in Iran deal
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/15/politics/rex-tillerson-iran-nuclear-agreement-cnntv/index.html

Tillerson Again Refuses to Answer If He Called Trump a ‘Moron’
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/tillerson-again-refuses-answer-if-he-called-trump-moron-n810806

Trump’s move to end insurance subsidies jolts Washington
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/10/14/trump-move-end-insurance-subsidies-jolts-health-industry-washington/764673001/
————
Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

Advertisements

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.14

Donald Трамп said he spoke to the “president of the Virgin Islands” in a speech Friday.

“I will tell you I left Texas and I left Florida and I left Louisiana and I went to Puerto Rico and I met with the president of the Virgin Islands,” Трамп said while talking about the recovery efforts in those areas following Hurricanes Irma and Maria. The U.S. Virgin Islands are a U.S. territory, which means the President of the Virgin Islands is Donald Трамп.

When asked about this discrepancy, Donald Трамп insisted he spoke with the President of the Virgin Islands. “I was in the bathroom, at the sink washing my hands, I saw this guy in front of me, facing me, also washing his hands, so I say to him, hey, you look like the President of the Virgin Islands. And he said the same thing to me. He just kept repeating everything I said! This guy in the bathroom, he was clearly crazy, but he insisted he was President of the Virgin Islands!”

Donald Трамп then walked away from the microphone to go look for ice-cream.

————

At least 36 people have died so far from the wall of flames and thick plumes of smoke tearing through Northern California. Many victims have been reduced to ash, and can only be identified by serial numbers on hip implants left behind.

Donald Трамп’s staff say he’s planning to meet with the President of California as soon as possible to discuss the crisis, but that the President of California needs to make the first move.
————

Donald Трамп’s regime announced late Thursday night that it would immediately stop supporting the cost-sharing subsidies that reimburse insurers for reducing the deductibles and co-pays of lower-income Obamacare enrollees.

When asked why, a spokesperson for the Трамп regime said, “With all of the natural disasters killing Americans, and those people getting killed by that gunman, we felt it was important the White House also got as many Americans killed as possible,” before passing out in a drunken stupor.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump says he met with the ‘president of the Virgin Islands’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/10/13/trump-says-he-met-president-virgin-islands/763910001/

Northern California Wine Country Wildfires: Death Toll Rises to 35
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/western-wildfires/death-toll-rises-34-northern-california-wildfires-n810631

California fires: Deputies drive through flames to rescue residents
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/14/us/california-fires-updates/index.html

Trump kills key Obamacare subsidies: What it means
http://money.cnn.com/2017/10/13/news/economy/trump-obamacare-subsidies/index.html
————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.12

Nearly three weeks after Hurricane Maria pummeled Puerto Rico, the vast majority of the island remains without power and the death toll from the storm has risen to 45, authorities said.

The Трамп regime expressed frustration about the situation. “He gave them paper towels and told them to have fun, what more do people want?” said one drunken staffer.

————

Democratic lawmakers, First Amendment advocates and broadcast communications experts mobilized against Donald Трамп on Wednesday after he suggested that NBC News’ broadcast license could be revoked following a report that Трамп wanted to increase the U.S. nuclear arsenal by 10 times.

This prompted members of the National Security Council to call Donald Трамп a, “moron.”

In related news, a recent study has revealed that people who voted for Donald Трамп and helped him get elected are also morons.

————

Harvey Weinstein says he’s in counseling after his wife left him. The producer lost his job after years of sexual assaults that were covered up finally were taken seriously.

In a statement, Weinstein said, “I understand, I love her and I love our children and hopefully, when I am better, I will be in their lives again. I support her decision.”

In related news, odds-makers in Las Vegas say the chances that people will forget that Weinstein sexually assaulted women for years and goes back to the movie industry within five years is, “about 1 to 1.”

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Puerto Rico’s hurricane death toll rises to 45
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/11/us/puerto-rico-maria-crisis/index.html

First Amendment Advocates Push Back on Trump’s Licensing Threat
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/first-amendment-advocates-push-back-trump-s-licensing-threat-n809941

Harvey Weinstein says he’s in counseling: ‘I understand’ my wife’s decision to leave
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2017/10/11/harvey-weinstein-i-understand-wifes-decision-leave-says-hes-counseling-my-wife-left-and-am-counselin/755003001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.11

Donald Трамп has “lit the wick of the war” against North Korea, a Russian state news agency quoted North Korea’s foreign minister as saying on Wednesday.

After being informed of the news, White House officials said, “heh. wick.”

————

Advisors for the Трамп regime briefed lawmakers Wednesday as a deadline approaches Sunday that triggers a 60-day window for lawmakers to determine whether to reimpose sanctions related to Iran’s nuclear program that were lifted as part of the 2015 agreement.

Officials left confused, and wondered aloud if they should just make the decision the day after the next Tuesday that follows a Thursday that ends in an even number.

————

An asteroid the size of a house will zoom past the Earth on Thursday at a distance of some 26,000 miles, NASA said. For reference, the moon is 239,000 miles away.

Still too close: Трамп’s finger to the nuclear button. Seriously, we’re so close to war. Thank god we’re worried about all of those football players taking a knee! That was sarcasm.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

North Korea foreign minister: Trump has ‘lit the wick’ of war
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/11/politics/north-korea-trump-lit-wick-of-war/index.html

White House Briefs Congress on Iran Decertification Plan
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/mideast/white-house-briefs-congress-iran-decertification-decision-n809911

Asteroid to zoom ‘damn close’ to Earth on Thursday, will also test planetary defense system
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/science/2017/10/11/asteroid-zoom-damn-close-earth-thursday-also-test-planetary-defense-system/755157001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.10

Fifteen wildfires raged across Northern California, with the biggest ones scorching the state’s famous wine country, killing at least 10 people and burning more than 1,500 homes and businesses, authorities said.

In response to this new crisis, Donald Трамп tweeted, “With Jemele Hill at the mike, it is no wonder ESPN ratings have “tanked,” in fact, tanked so badly it is the talk of the industry!”

White House aides say Трамп plans to blame North Korea for the return of ‘Will and Grace’ to NBC because everything has become a dadaist nightmare.

————

Speaking of lunacy, Michigan Judge Gregory Ross has granted parental rights to 27-year-old Christopher Mirasolo, providing the convicted sex offender with access to a child born from the nearly decade-old rape of a 12-year-old girl. A DNA test last month confirmed that he’s the biological father of the boy, who is now 8.

Judge Ross is expected to be Donald Трамп’s next nominee for the Supreme Court.

————

Harvey Weinstein, serial abuser of women, begged to keep his job as co-chairman of The Weinstein Company in a letter he sent. “All I’m asking is let me take a leave of absence and get into heavy therapy and counseling, whether it be in a facility or somewhere else,” Weinstein wrote.

Harvey Weinstein next job will require working for people who can easily forget about sexual assault, so he’s expected to run for the Republican Presidential nomination in 2020.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

At least 10 dead as fires rage in Northern California
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/10/us/california-fires-napa/index.html

With Jemele Hill at the mike, it is no wonder ESPN ratings have “tanked,” in fact, tanked so badly it is the talk of the industry!
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/917701841466593280

Michigan Judge Gives Convicted Rapist Parental Rights for Victim’s Son
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/michigan-judge-gives-convicted-rapist-parental-rights-victim-s-son-n809196

Reports: Harvey Weinstein allegedly begged for his job in last-ditch letter
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/movies/2017/10/09/reports-harvey-weinstein-allegedly-begs-his-job-last-ditch-letter/748113001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.09

The Трамп Regime, as part of its effort to end the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, released an aggressive list of priorities for any deal to protect young undocumented immigrants in limbo Sunday night. The list includes provisions to make it harder for orphaned children to enter the country, money for Donald Трамп’s border wall and cuts to legal immigration.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer were quick to pan the list in a statement. “This list goes so far beyond what is reasonable. The list includes the wall, which was explicitly ruled out of the negotiations.”

Aides say the confusion stems from the dinner, where people in attendance thought that The Wall Donald Трамп was referring to was the acclaimed album by Pink Floyd. “I think people walked away feeling good because they thought, hey, anyone who says they’re into the Darkside of the Moon can’t be all bad. But Трамп clearly meant something else.”

————

A McDonald’s PR stunt to bring back Szechuan sauce led to protests by thousands of young white kids, with police called to some US restaurants on Saturday. Szechuan sauce was only made in 1998 to promote the film Mulan, but became popular again after being mentioned in the cartoon Rick and Morty.

Fans were left disappointed after stores ran out. In one video, police can be seen holding back people chanting “we want sauce.”

Police were relieved that it only went that far. One office said, “If them kids had been black or started saying ‘Black Lives Matter’ we would’ve needed the riot gear, but thousands of white kids screaming for condiments, threatening people, eh, what’s the big deal? They could’ve been shooting automatic weapons in the air and, eh, that’s just kids being kids.”

————

In the wake of a blistering New York Times report that detailed nearly 30 years of his sexual misconduct, Harvey Weinstein has been “terminated, effective immediately” from The Weinstein Company.

Meanwhile, Donald Трамп is still in the White House for doing many of the same things.

————

I dunno, maybe Democrats should promise free Szechuan sauce for everyone after Donald Трамп is impeached. Maybe that would finally get the ball rolling.

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

White House lays out DACA deal asks
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/08/politics/white-house-daca-deal-principles/index.html

McDonald’s Rick and Morty Szechuan sauce stunt backfires
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41543636

Harvey Weinstein officially fired from The Weinstein Company
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2017/10/08/harvey-weinstein-fired-hollywood/744817001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.07

Hurricane Nate was expected to be a Category 2 storm when it makes landfall overnight southeast of New Orleans.

Donald Трамп is expected to comment on the hurricane if it gets to Category 4 or 5 as a way to boost his flagging TV ratings.

————

Investigators trying to piece together why a gunman opened fire on a crowd of thousands of concert-goers in Las Vegas this week said they have chased down more than a thousand leads, but the motive in the deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history remained a mystery.

An anonymous source suggested that power fantasies related to white supremacy, in the struggle of a male psyche to comprehend that while he’s part of the dominant ethnic group, in a culture that values dominance, nonetheless fails to dominate the world in a way that matches what the culture values, due to rootless effects of patriarchy as a motive for the attack just caused investigators to blink, shrug, and move on.

————

In other news, Harvey Weinstein is a gross, misogynistic troll who sexually assaults women.

He’s expected to be named to the Трамп White House in November as head of women’s rights initiatives.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Hurricane Nate due be a Category 2 storm at Gulf Coast landfall
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/07/us/hurricane-nate-forecast/index.html

Answer to Question in Las Vegas Massacre, ‘Why?’, Elusive So Far
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/las-vegas-shooting/answer-question-las-vegas-massacre-why-elusive-so-far-n808601

Harvey Weinstein officially begins leave of absence; board vows ‘thorough’ investigation
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/movies/2017/10/06/harvey-weinstein-officially-begins-leave-absence-board-vows-thorough-investigation/741646001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.05

Senator Bob Corker (R-Tennessee) said suggested Wednesday that General John Kelly and James Mattis, as well as Secretary of State Rex Tillerson are the “people that help separate our country from chaos.”

When asked who best represented chaos in Washington D.C., Corker coughed and pointed at a picture of Donald Трамп several times.

————
Donald Трамп met Wednesday with surviving victims of the Las Vegas shooting at University Medical Center in the city and left a message for the victims. “We’re with you 100 percent …And believe me, I’ll be there for them,” he promised.

After hearing the news, most victims are expecting to be abandoned within the week.

————

An investigation conducted by the Associated Press has found that North Korean slave labor has been used in the preparation of salmon sold in Walmart and other stores in the United States. North Korea exports slave labor to countries around the world, then uses the revenue to support its nuclear weapons programs.

Experts in the Трамп regime are currently working on ways to get the Трамп brand in on that game. “Maybe Donald Трамп could have his own, private nuclear weapons if he does the same thing? We’d be able to take care of that North Korea problem pretty quick with private nuclear weapons!”

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Bob Corker just told the world what he really thinks of Donald Trump
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/04/politics/bob-corker-trump/index.html

After Las Vegas Shooting, Trump Says America ‘A Nation In Mourning’
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/las-vegas-shooting/trump-meets-shooting-survivors-las-vegas-hospital-honors-their-bravery-n807441

North Koreans prepping seafood for U.S. stores, restaurants
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/10/05/north-koreans-prepping-seafood-us/734560001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.04

The Justice Department released hundreds of decades-old internal legal memos that conclude the President is legally barred from appointing a relative to a position in the White House after receiving several Freedom of Information Act requests for the material. In January of this year, deputy assistant attorney general Daniel Koffsky reversed this legal position in January, finding the anti-nepotism law covers only appointments in an “executive” agency and that the White House Office is not such an agency under the law.

“In choosing his personal staff, the President enjoys an unusual degree of freedom, which Congress found suitable to the demands of his office,” wrote Koffsky.

When asked if there’s a policy that prevents the President from hiring white supremacists and white nationalists, Koffsky said, “No, of course not you fool!”

————

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was on the verge of resigning this past summer. Tensions came to a head after a July 20 meeting at the Pentagon with members of Donald Трамп’s national security team and Cabinet officials went poorly. Tillerson had openly disparaged Трамп, referring to him as a “moron,” after the meeting.

Aides said they heard Tillerson crying in the bathroom just a few days ago, lamenting his situation. “All I want to do is secure a deal with the Russian government so Exxon can make a bunch of money drilling for oil in the arctic,” Tillerson said while sitting on the toilet.

To make amends and get Tillerson and Трамп back on the same page, aides say they plan to try and get Трамп to buy stock in Exxon Mobil.

————

Jared Kushner and daughter Ivanka Трамп routed their personal email accounts to computers run by the Trump Organization as public scrutiny intensified over their use of private emails to conduct White House business, internet registration records show.

Various news outlets are planning to run this story 24/7 for the next year as soon as they can find an email sent to either Kushner or Трамп by former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

DOJ releases slew of memos lobbying against presidential appointments for family
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/03/politics/doj-old-anti-nepotism-olc-memos/index.html

Tillerson’s Fury at Trump Required an Intervention From Pence
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/tillerson-s-fury-trump-required-intervention-pence-n806451

Exclusive: Jared Kushner’s personal email re-routed to Trump Organization computers amid public scrutiny
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/10/03/exclusive-jared-kushners-personal-email-moved-trump-organization-computers-amid-public-scrutiny/728467001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.03

The murderer who killed 59 people and injured 527 others in Las Vegas from his 32nd-floor hotel suite at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino had 23 weapons in the room including a handgun, and multiple rifles with scopes on them.

When asked how someone was able to get 23 weapons into a hotel room, a spokesperson for Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino said, “Well, he was a white guy, so …” before being whisked out of the room.
————

The people of Puerto Rico are exasperated with Donald Трамп, and expressed anger over how late his arrival has been.

“He’s pretty late,” Bethsaida Colón said Monday as she waited in a wheelchair in line at the airport, bound for New York. “His general came here eight days late.”

A spokesperson for the Трамп regime said, “Important people always come to the party late. New York rule, it’s a common New York rule, people in New York are always late for parties, so, if you want to blame Donald Трамп being late, let’s put the blame where it belongs, it’s New York’s fault that Donald Трамп is late, thank you.”

The spokesperson then burst into flames.

————

Tom Petty died Monday evening from a heart attack. He was 66 years old.

Officials in the Трамп regime are hopeful that Petty’s death will dominate headlines for a few days until, “this whole gun control AND Puerto Rico thing blows over.”

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Las Vegas investigation finds more weapons, but shooter’s motive unknown
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/03/us/las-vegas-shooting-investigation/index.html

Puerto Ricans Hope President Trump Gets an Eyeful of Devastation During Visit
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/puerto-rico-crisis/puerto-ricans-hope-trump-gets-eyeful-devastation-during-visit-n807021

Remembering Tom Petty, American icon and eternal rock ‘n’ roll underdog
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2017/10/03/remembering-tom-petty-death-american-icon-and-eternal-rock-n-roll-underdog/724818001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …