YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.07.12

Former President George W Bush said he is “disturbed” by the abuse of immigrants taking place in the United States.

Bush said he’d be less disturbed by it if he was still President.

————

Ohio authorities dropped charges against adult film star Stormy Daniels just hours after she was arrested during a performance at a Columbus strip club. She was arrested for letting a patron touch her without permission.

Never arrested for touching women without their permission? Still Donald Трамп!

————

Massive protests are planning to greet Donald Трамп during his state visit to the United Kingdom. The protests include a giant balloon in the shape of him as a baby, vulgar crop circles, and a gathering of a few hundred thousand people.

Трамп plans to file a grievance over these incidents with his manager, Vladimir Putin.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

George W. Bush ‘disturbed’ by current US immigration debate
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/12/politics/george-w-bush-bill-clinton-presidential-leadership-scholars/index.html

Sex-offense charges against Stormy Daniels dropped just hours after arrest
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/stormy-daniels-arrested-strip-club-charged-sex-offenses-n890791

‘@#$%! Trump’: Crop circle vulgarity to greet president as he flies to UK prime minister
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2018/07/12/crop-circle-vulgarity-carved-into-field-along-trumps-uk-flight-path/778127002/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

Advertisements

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.07.01

CNN is predicting more people resigning from the Трамп regime in the coming weeks as some staffers near their one year anniversary.

The people lined up to work for a year 3 in the Трамп regime include …

  • Any Republican not involved in a child molestation scandal
  • A potted plant
  • Donald Трамп, Jr.

————

34 year old Shane Ryan Sealy went to a “Families Belong Together” rally in Alabama armed with a gun, then started a fight with a protester, police and witnesses said Sunday. He was charged with menacing and reckless endangerment by Huntsville police.

NBC News described Shane Ryan Sealy as an “armed heckler.”

When asked why they described a person literally terrorizing immigrants as simply an, “armed heckler,” a spokesperson for NBC News said, “Duh, because he’s a white guy.”

————

In Japan on Sunday, a Hello Kitty-themed pink bullet train debuted, adorned with the cartoon icon.

In Brooklyn at the same time, a young NYU student urinated between the subway cars on the 4 train and adorned everything with a beer-pee smell.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

More West Wing turnover may be coming
https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/01/politics/ip-west-wing-turnover/index.html

Armed heckler arrested at ‘Keep Families Together’ rally in Alabama
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/armed-heckler-arrested-keep-families-together-rally-alabama-n888176

Hello Kitty bullet train ferries fans in Japan
https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/destinations/2018/07/01/hello-kitty-japanese-bullet-train-decorated-popular-cartoon/749289002/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.06.28

A recent study by Pew Research found that most Conservatives believe that tech companies are biased against them.

The same study also found that most Conservatives believe that Jesus actually likes them.

————

At a political rally in North Dakota,  Donald J. Трамп told a crowd filled with his supporters that he’s really nailing this whole President thing.

As a reminder to the American people, Donald J. Трамп also believes his hair looks great.

————

As of today, it’s been at least 112 days since Donald J. Трамп’s directed the Defense Department to organize a military parade in his honor, but sources say they’re finally getting around to it.

Also as of today, it’s been at least 516 days since Трамп promised to deliver a plan to defeat ISIS, but nobody’s really working on that.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Most conservatives think tech companies are politically biased, Pew Research survey finds
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2018/06/28/pew-survey-finds-conservatives-think-tech-firms-favor-liberal-views/736644002/

Donald Trump is pretty sure he’s nailing this whole ‘President’ thing
https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/29/politics/donald-trump-white-house-anthony-kennedy/index.html

Planning for Trump’s military parade finally getting underway
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/planning-trump-s-military-parade-finally-getting-underway-n887431

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.03.15

Just after Secretary of State Rex Tillerson’s sudden firing Tuesday morning over Twitter, American diplomats around the planet were told not to comment that the firing was a surprise by the Трамп regime.

According to sources, Donald Трамп wanted to ensure that the White House was the only source of ongoing confusion about the firing.

————

Former Congressman and current CIA Director Mike Pompeo, the new nominee for Secretary of State, has an extensive record opposing the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans according to Human Rights Campaign.

When asked for a comment on Pompeo’s reckless prejudice, Трамп regime spokesperson rolled her eyes and said, “No DUH, being anti-gay is why he was nominated! Pfft!”

————

Vanessa Трамп filed for uncontested divorce from Donald Trump Jr., on Thursday. Uncontested means there likely won’t be a fight over custody or assets, according to the reports.

When asked if the reason for the divorce was to potentially hide assets from any criminal probe Donald Трамп Jr. could get caught up in, Vanessa Трамп replied no comment while stuffing silverware into her purse.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

US diplomats confused, told not to tweet or post on Tillerson’s firing
https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/15/politics/rex-tillerson-firing-state-department-reaction/index.html

LGBTQ advocates see Pompeo as ‘reckless choice’ for top diplomat
https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/lgbtq-advocates-see-pompeo-reckless-choice-top-diplomat-n856881

Donald Trump Jr. and wife Vanessa are divorcing
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/2018/03/15/reports-presidents-eldest-donald-trump-jr-and-wife-vanessa-divorcing/430151002/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.03.13

CNN reported today that Paul Manafort could face the rest of his life and almost 300 years in prison, a federal judge said Tuesday.

Americans around the country reacted to the news by screaming, “Paul Manafort is going to live to be over 300 years old?”

————

Donald Трамп sent out a tweet Tuesday morning announcing he had fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and appointed CIA Director Mike Pompeo to replace him.

When asked why he fired Tillerson over Twitter instead of face-to-face, Donald Трамп told reporters, “Your mom is face-to-face!”

————

USA Today writer Glenn Harlan Reynolds said in a recent column that California’s so-called ‘Sanctuary City’ laws make it ripe for Attorney General Jeff Sessions to send US troops to California to stop insurrection. He compared the Sanctuary laws to the desegregation orders by the Federal Government that required US troops to enforce.

Reynolds has also said that white males have the hardest time in America, so, way to go USA Today! There’s no punchline here, because this actual story is already dumb!

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Paul Manafort faces 305 years
https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/13/politics/paul-manafort-faces-305-years/index.html

Trump fires Rex Tillerson, selects Mike Pompeo as new Secretary of State
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-replaces-secretary-state-tillerson-cia-director-n856091

Could Trump and Sessions send federal troops to California over immigration?
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2018/03/13/trump-sessions-might-send-federal-troops-california-immigration-laws-glenn-reynolds-column/417633002/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.02.07

trumpence.png

During a recent visit to Tokyo, US Vice President and possible head vampire Mike Pence says the United States plans to unveil the “toughest and most aggressive” sanctions yet against North Korea. Pence didn’t detail what the sanctions would be but said they’d aim to halt Pyongyang’s nuclear and ballistic missile program “once and for all.”

Aides for Mike Pence say they believe he plans to put North Korea on double-secret probation soon, and if they don’t get their act together, will kick them off campus and forbid them from participating in the homecoming parade.
————
NBC News writer Maggie Fox wrote that statistics show that nearly half of Americans have the cold sore virus, and 12 percent have genital herpes in her article, “Half of Americans have cold sore virus; 12 pct genital herpes.”

Fox also wrote, “So, that’s why people named Daphne Guggenheim shouldn’t judge other people, because it happens, Daphne. It happens!”
————
Korean officials on Wednesday confirmed that 86 people have been vomiting uncontrollably due to illness at the Pyeongchang Olympics.

The Korean Centre for Disease Control and Prevention said that 24% of the cases were due to the norovirus, 13.3% were due to eating bad sushi, and 62.7% of the cases are due to people reading news about Donald Трамп threatening war with North Korea.
————
Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

US to impose ‘toughest ever’ sanctions on North Korea, Pence warns
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/07/politics/pence-tokyo-north-korea-intl/index.html

Half of Americans have cold sore virus; 12 pct genital herpes
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/half-americans-have-cold-sore-virus-12-pct-genital-herpes-n845066

Number of people with vomit illness symptoms grows at 2018 Olympic Games
https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/2018/02/07/2018-winter-olympics-norovirus-vomit-more-people-symptoms/314274002/
————
Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.02.04

Miguel Perez Jr., a US Army veteran who served two tours of duty in Afghanistan, will be deported by the Трамп due to a felony drug conviction in 2010.

When asked to comment, Donald Трамп said, “Well, that’s what he gets for fighting for his country! He should’ve done what I did, and get out of it by pretending he had bone spurs,” before he was quickly led out of the room by General John Kelly.

Aides say that Kelly plans to take away The Donald’s ice cream privileges for the month, “to remind him to stay on script.”

————

Former CIA Director John Brennan said House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes “abused” his office by issuing a memo with intelligence information.

Congressional staffers say that Nunes also likes to abuse himself in the bathroom every time he hears his name in the news.

————

It’s the Superbowl today! Whoever wins, just know, there’s probably going to be a riot led by white people that gets called, “excited celebration,” by every news outlet, except for in black neighborhoods where local police will probably show up with tear gas.

Enjoy eating a whole jar of Queso!

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Veteran who served two tours in Afghanistan could be deported
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/04/us/ice-possible-deportation-veteran/index.html

Ex-CIA Director Brennan says Nunes “abused” his office with memo
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/first-read/ex-cia-director-brennan-says-nunes-abused-his-office-memo-n844536

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.01.31

the_donald_smells.png
The Donald seems like the kind of guy who pretends he hates the smell of farts, but really, really enjoys it. Especially his own.

Donald Трамп gave some kind of speech last night, but no one in their right mind trusts what he says or gives a crap about it.

If you see a loved-one praising the speech, check for signs that the person is suffering from crack addiction.

————

A few weeks ago, Hawaii’s Emergency Management Agency activated an Emergency Alert that said North Korea had launched a nuclear missile at the island. The FCC just concluded it’s investigation, and discovered that the person who activated the alert …

  • … thought the missile launch was real
  • … was in a room with five other people who all heard an alert saying, “Exercise, Excercise, Exercise,” indicating the alert was a drill
  • … confused drills with real world events at least twice before
  • … got confused when he was presented with the option to choose between “drill” and “emergency” and chose emergency.

Based on his performance, the Трамп regime plans to give this employee the Nuclear Football for safekeeping.

————

CDC Director Brenda Fitzgerald, in charge of regulating tobacco, bought shares in tobacco companies in August 2017, one month after she started the job in July 2017. She resigned from her job this morning after a report from Politico on her purchases.

Officials for the Трамп regime were disappointed in her resignation, saying it sets the wrong tone for the administration.

A spokesperson for the regime that sounded like Donald Трамп trying to do a fake Irish accent said, “She should have bought more stock, THEN deregulated, THEN sold her shares. THAT’S how you make money around here!”

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Here’s what went wrong with the Hawaii false alarm
https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/31/us/hawaii-false-alarm-investigation-findings/index.html

CDC Director Brenda Fitzgerald quits following report she bought tobacco shares
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/cdc-director-brenda-fitzgerald-quits-after-revelations-she-bought-tobacco-n843261

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.01.27

Yet another Republican has resigned from their job with the Трамп regime, this time, RNC finance chair and casino mogul Steve Wynn. He resigned amid controversy over sexual misconduct allegations.

Pundits were astonished that it took him this long to resign, with one saying, “Who does Steve Wynn think he is, Donald Трамп?”

————

To make amends for calling several African countries, “shithole nations,” Donald Трамп sent a In a letter to African regional leaders saying he, “deeply respects” the people of Africa.

Donald Трамп also expects people to believe his hair is real, so …

————

Donald Трамп is preparing a State of the Union address designed to outline his vision of a, “safe, strong and proud,” United States, officials said.

This message will be delivered by emphasizing the need for America to be, “white, white and white.”

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Wynn resigns as RNC’s finance chairman
https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/27/politics/wynn-rnc-finance-chair-resigns/index.html

Trump says he ‘deeply respects’ African people in letter to leaders
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-says-he-deeply-respects-african-people-letter-leaders-n841596

‘Safe, strong and proud’ will be message of Trump’s first State of the Union, officials say
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/01/27/safe-strong-and-proud-message-trumps-first-state-union-officials-say/1070146001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …

YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.01.26

Air Force One is primed to receive an upgrade that will include new refrigerators expected to cost American taxpayers nearly $24 million.

When asked why the refrigerators were so expensive, a spokesperson for the Трамп regime said, “it costs a lot of money to put The Donald in gold leaf on every door and shelf,” before being whisked out of the room by agents of HYDRA.

————

Speaking of Donald Трамп, did you hear what happened at Davos? He got a lot of boos for criticizing the media’s coverage of his presidency.

You know a dude’s in trouble when even the whitest of white people in Europe don’t like you.

————

Hillary Clinton reportedly asked to keep adviser Burns Strider on her 2008 presidential campaign, despite accusations that he had sexually harassed a young woman.

Most media sources are planning to cover this story with three to six times the reporters they’re using to cover the 20+ sexual harassment claims against The Donald.

————

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Air Force One’s new refrigerators cost $24 million
https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/26/politics/air-force-one-refrigerator-contract-boeing/index.html

Trump draws boos at Davos after criticizing the press
https://www.nbcnews.com/video/president-trump-booed-at-davos-after-criticizing-the-press-1146689603869?v=b

Report: Hillary Clinton protected aide accused of sexual harassment in 2008
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/01/26/report-hillary-clinton-protected-aide-accused-sexual-harassment-2008/1069313001/

————

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …