YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.19

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe gave a rambling televised speech to his country Sunday after receiving an ultimatum from his own party that said it would move to impeach him if he did not resign.

In related news, US President Donald Трамп literally gives a rambling televised speech every day in the United States, but there’s no sign that Republicans will move to impeach him.

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Award-winning playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda and thousands of supporters streamed from the U.S. Capitol to the Lincoln Memorial Sunday shouting “Puerto Rico Se Levanta” (Puerto Rico Is Rising) to protest how Congress and the Trump administration have handled the island’s nearly two-month-old hurricane recovery.

Reports on the scene say that the waitlist for getting into the protest was at least a year long, but that people had a good chance to get into the protest if they stood in will-call.

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The Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee voted 13-10 last week to approve a bill that would allow oil companies to drill in Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. The full bill can now go the Republican Senate for a vote.

Political reporters at the Senate say that they include a provision that requires oil companies to randomly beat at least 2 baby harbor seals to death per day in order to increase the likelihood that the bill will be approved by Donald Трамп.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Zimbabwe’s Mugabe vows to stay in power despite pressure to resign
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/19/africa/zimbabwe-mugabe-party-meeting/index.html

‘You are not forgotten’: Lin-Manuel Miranda, thousands march for Puerto Rico recovery help
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/puerto-rico-crisis/you-are-not-forgotten-lin-manuel-miranda-thousands-march-puerto-n821616

Congress moves to ‘drill, baby, drill’ in Alaska’s ANWR. Here’s what you should know
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/11/19/congress-moves-drill-baby-drill-alaska-anwr-refuge-heres-what-you-should-know/874187001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.10

Jerry Moore, brother of Alabama GOP Senate candidate and child molestor Roy Moore, said his brother is being persecuted just like Jesus Christ.

Breaking News: Jerry Moore called Jesus a Pedophile!

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Former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn was offered $15 million by Turkish officials to kidnap a Turkish political dissident hiding in the United States. The meeting happened a few weeks before Donald Трамп’s inauguration a few blocks from Donald Трамп Tower.

When asked about this, a spokesperson for the White House said, “Hey, for $15 million, I’d tell everyone state secrets like how Трамп’s hairpiece works.”

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Due to an issue with his immigration status, former world heavyweight champion boxer Mike Tyson was sent home from Chile.

After arriving home and disembarking from the plane, Mike Tyson was also denied entry to the airport Chilis.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Moore’s brother denies charges, compares persecution to Jesus
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/10/politics/jerry-moore-martin-savidge-interview-roy-moore-sexual-misconduct/index.html

Mueller Probing Possible Deal Between Turks, Flynn During Presidential Transition
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/mueller-probing-possible-deal-between-turks-flynn-during-presidential-transition-n819616

Mike Tyson denied entry to Chile, sent home
https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/boxing/2017/11/10/mike-tyson-denied-entry-chile-sent-home/851684001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.13

Donald Трамп announced on Twitter that he’s ending a key set of Obamacare subsidies that helped lower-income enrollees pay for health care.

“The Democrats ObamaCare is imploding. Massive subsidy payments to their pet insurance companies has stopped. Dems should call me to fix!” he tweeted.

Several people reported the tweet as, “abusive or harmful to other people,” since kicking poor people off of health care would certainly harm them. When asked for a comment, Twitter said, “can’t talk now, we’re suspending women like actor Rose McGowan from the platform for talking about being raped.”

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An opinion piece by NBC News reporter Elizabeth Chuck noted that there’s very little to gain, but a lot to lose, when women report sexual harassment. Chuck cited a study that found 75 percent of women who spoke out about sexual harassment faced retaliation, like being punished for a minor infraction or being passed over for a promotion.

Ms. Chuck was later suspended from NBC News for mixing up paper and plastic in the recycling bin.

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Donald Трамп is ending the Iran nuclear agreement on Friday. After he formally announce his decision to end U.S. participation in the multinational agreement, he will also ask Congress not to re-impose economic sanctions right away.

Aides say that Трамп is hopeful he can make a deal on a new hotel in Tehran for his company prior to any further diplomatic efforts.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump will end health care cost-sharing subsidies
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/12/politics/obamacare-subsidies/index.html

Weinstein Lesson: Lot to Lose, Little to Gain by Reporting Sex Harassment
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/weinstein-lesson-lot-lose-little-gain-reporting-sex-harassment-n810046

Trump to de-certify Iran nuclear deal
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/10/13/trump-de-certify-iran-nuclear-deal/760329001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.19

Category 5 Hurricane Maria hit Dominica with “widespread devastation,” according to the prime minister of the Caribbean island nation. Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands are next in its path.

After being informed of the news, Donald Трамп told aides, “We already did a Category 5 Hurricane. We’ve done hurricanes, I got to hand people groceries. It was fun! There’s better way to get ratings than repeating yourself.”

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On Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, a fan asked Martha Stewart if pumpkin spice was “delicious or for basic bitches only?”

Without hesitation, Stewart said, “The latter.”

According to the White House, First Lady Melania Трамп reportedly loves pumpkin spice lattes, so …

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USA Today reported that Donald Трамп Jr. is giving up his Secret Service protection. The person, speaking under condition of anonymity, was not authorized to comment publicly. Трамп Jr. is declining the protection so he can have more “privacy.”

Трамп Jr. spoke to reporters and said, “They’re always following me. They keep watching what I do. I try to have those phone calls with the Russians, and they, like, watch. It’s creepy. I mean, if I want to sell information to other governments, I should–,” before being whisked out of the room by Jared “The Kush” Kushner.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Hurricane Maria back at Category 5 as it barrels toward Puerto Rico
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/19/americas/hurricane-maria-caribbean-islands/index.html

Martha Stewart revealed her true feelings about pumpkin spice
https://www.today.com/food/martha-stewart-pumpkin-spice-basic-bitches-only-t116426

Donald Trump Jr. gives up Secret Service protection
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/09/18/donald-trump-jr-gives-up-secret-service-protection/679657001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.09.13

House Democrats sent special counsel Robert Mueller what they say is evidence that former national security adviser Michael Flynn failed to disclose a trip he took to the Middle East to explore a business deal with the Saudi government and a Russian government agency.

Reporters on the scene said Mueller sighed, rubbed his face, and just asked the House Democrats to, “Put it on the evidence pile, with everything else. No, not that one. Not that one. Not … you’ll knock it over, just. Here, give it to me. No, it’s fine. Give it to me, I’ll. I’m fine. I’ll deal with it. There’s just so much of this stuff, y’know?”

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Officers Caesar R. Goodson Jr., Garrett E. Miller, Edward M. Nero, William G. Porter, Lt. Brian W. Rice and Sgt. Alicia D. White, all involved in Freddie Gray’s fatal ride in a Baltimore police van won’t face federal civil rights charges, the Justice Department said Tuesday.

A spokesperson for the office of Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III said, “Those lil’ scamps promised us they wouldn’t do it again. Good enough for us!”

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The Supreme Court blocked a lower court decision that would have greatly expanded the number of refugees exempted from Donald Трамп’s controversial travel ban. Challengers countered on Tuesday that the court should not get involved in “ensuring that every possible refugee is excluded.”

In response, Donald Трамп repeatedly screamed, “Nuh-HUH! NUH-HUH! Yes they should! Nuh-huh!” It took four bowls of ice-cream before White House Chief of Staff John Kelly could restrain Трамп and stop his yelling.

Reports say that Kelly is hopeful that adding a nap to Трамп’s afternoon schedule will keep him calmer in the future.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Dems to Mueller: Flynn failed to disclose trip to broker Saudi-Russian business deal
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/13/politics/democrats-mueller-flynn-middle-east-trip-disclosure/index.html

Justice Dept. Won’t Charge Six Officers in Freddie Gray Death
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/baltimore-unrest/justice-department-won-t-charge-six-officers-freddie-gray-death-n800786

Supreme Court: No expansion of travel ban’s refugee exemptions
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/09/12/supreme-court-no-expansion-travel-bans-refugee-exemptions/657273001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.24

U.S. Trade Representative Robert Lighthizer announced last Friday that he was formally starting an investigation into whether China is unfairly getting hold of American technology and intellectual property. Lighthizer’s findings could allow Donald Трамп to impose tariffs on Chinese imports, or punish Beijing in other ways a year from now after the investigation concludes.

Chinese officials said they’ll be surprised if Трамп is President a year from now.

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Two weeks ago, popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп declared the opioid crisis a national emergency and said, “We’re going to spend a lot of time, a lot of effort and a lot of money on the opioid crisis.”

But so far, Трамп hasn’t formally signed a declaration of emergency and sent it to Congress, which means that he hasn’t actually followed through on spending a lot of time, a lot of effort or a lot of money on the opioid crisis.

When asked why, officials for the White House said that Трамп aides are still trying to sort out how Трамп can make money on the crisis before he signs the papers. “Mr. Трамп is working hard to find a way to brand a lot of opioid treatment centers with his name before he starts directing U.S. funds to treatment.”

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Congressional Republicans are expressing concerns about Donald Трамп’s mental health to the media. Republican Senator Bob Corker said last week Трамп hasn’t, “been able to demonstrate the stability,” needed for success. James Clapper, questioned Трамп’s “fitness to be in this office.” And Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnel has been feuding with Трамп.

When asked if they’ll be drafting articles of Impeachment soon, one Congressional Republican speaking anonymously said, “Not until we get him to sign a tax cut for the wealthy,” then quickly fled the room.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

China accuses Trump of ‘sabotaging’ world trade
http://money.cnn.com/2017/08/24/news/economy/china-us-trump-trade-probe-sabotage/index.html

Trump Calls Opioid Crisis a National Emergency But Still Hasn’t Made It Official
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/americas-heroin-epidemic/trump-calls-opioid-crisis-national-emergency-still-hasn-t-made-n795351

Amid mounting bipartisan concerns, debating Trump’s mental health becomes cottage industry
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/08/23/amid-mounting-concerns-presidents-mental-health-more-complicated-than-citing-narcissism-erraticism/490096001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.21

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп will address the nation at 9 p.m. ET to unveil his plan to escalate the ongoing war in Afghanistan.

White House aides say that escalating the Afghanistan war may be their best shot at pulling Трамп out of historically low disapproval ratings. “We thought going after North Korea would do it, but it had the opposite effect,” one Aide said from behind a bathroom stall near the White House gift shop.

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10 US Navy sailors from the USS John S. McCain are missing after their guided-missile destroyer collided with a larger oil tanker off Singapore.

Donald Трамп has asked the media to bother John McCain about this incident. “It’s his ship, has his name on it, he broke it, he bought it, bother him, it’s him fault. IT AM HIM FAULT,” Трамп was heard to say as he wandered aimlessly down a White House corridor away from reporters.

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Secret Service Director Randolph “Tex” Alles, in an interview with USA TODAY, said the Secret Service can no longer pay more than 1,000 agents because they’ve run out of funding for the year due to the size of Donald Трамп’s family, the number of properties they own, and the sheer number of trips everyone has taken. Secret Service funding was intended to last through the year.

After being informed of the news, Donald Трамп asked an aide, “Is that guy’s name really Tex? Do you think Tex likes TexMex? Let’s have him over for a taco bowl the next time there’s a Mexican holiday like that Cinco de Mayonaise or whatever it is.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump to ask Americans to trust him on Afghanistan
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/21/politics/donald-trump-afghanistan-speech/index.html

U.S. Destroyer Collides With Tanker Off Singapore; 10 Missing
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/navy-destroyer-uss-john-s-mccain-collides-merchant-ship-east-n794386

Exclusive: Secret Service depletes funds to pay agents because of Trump’s frequent travel, large family
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/08/21/secret-service-cant-pay-agents-because-trumps-frequent-travel-large-family/529075001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.08

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп’s retweeted a Fox News story claiming US satellites detected North Korea moving anti-ship cruise missiles to a patrol boat. US Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley indicated that the information in the report is classified and was leaked to the press. Трамп is currently on a ‘working vacation’ at one of his paid golf resorts in New Jersey.

Reports say that Трамп was seen in a restroom at his New Jersey golf resort saying, “You’re the leaker! We’re going to find you, leaking all of the news from the White House! You’re a naughty, naughty leaker!”

I_am_a_leaky_leaky_boy.jpg
This is the face of a man who farted, knows you can smell it, and doesn’t care.

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The Japanese Defense Ministry warned in a new report released Tuesday that North Korea has already learned how to manufacture small nuclear warheads and currently has them in their arsenal.

 

When informed of the news, Трамп tweeted, “After many years of failure,countries are coming together to finally address the dangers posed by North Korea. We must be tough & decisive!”

It’s unclear at this time whether or not Donald Трамп understands that a tweet isn’t really helping address the dangers posed by a nuclear armed North Korea.
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Meanwhile, in other HYDRA related news, the Трамп regime is actively considering a bold plan to turn over a big chunk of the U.S. war in Afghanistan to private contractors.

Reported say that Трамп regime will use the same plan Трамп used for Трамп University to further privatize the never-ending war in Afghanistan …

  1. Put Трамп brand name on company
  2. Have Трамп talk about company
  3. Get money
  4. Fail to deliver
  5. Get sued
  6. Settle

Трамп is planning to reveal himself as the New Cobra Commander after the privatization plan is approved by the Republican Congress.

I have a lot of support in Ohio!

Picture by emseesquared on DeviantArt! | http://twinmom-emc-squared.deviantart.com/

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

 

Trump retweets Fox News story containing classified info
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/08/politics/trump-retweet-fox-news-north-korea-story-haley/index.html

Japan Warns North Korea Nuclear Threat Has Entered ‘New Stage’
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/japan-warns-north-korea-threat-has-entered-new-stage-n790631

After many years of failure,countries are coming together to finally address the dangers posed by North Korea. We must be tough & decisive!

Trump White House weighs unprecedented plan to privatize much of the war in Afghanistan
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/08/08/war-afghanistan-trump-white-house-weighs-bold-plan-privatize/548004001/
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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.31

 

Last week, the US Congress passed a bill imposing fresh sanctions over Russia’s meddling in the US’ 2016 election. And this week in response, President Vladimir Putin ordered the US to cut staff at its Russian embassy and forced some US diplomats home.

The White House had no comment on the matter, because White House Communications director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was busy preparing comments about his pending divorce from his wife for the morning talk shows. Some of those comments include, “Leave my family out of ‘dis,” “You come at me wit’ a knife, I come at you wit’ a gun, you put one a my guys in da’ hospital, I put one a your guys in da’ morgue, dat’s the White House way!,” and, “This ain’t personal, it’s business.”

There’s no word yet on precisely how many movies The Mooch plans to quote during his tenure in the White House.

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The White House’s commission on voter integrity begins work this week but is divided on the key question their tasked with answering: Is there widespread fraud at the ballot box?

One thing they all agree upon, though, is that there’s widespread fraud at the White House, but nobody is going to talk about that.

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Millions in anonymous donations are being sent directly to Super PACs supporting popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп, despite Трамп’s repeated calls to “drain the swamp” in Washington of special-interest money.

White House aides say that Трамп doesn’t see those anonymous donations as swamp water, instead noting that, “it’s more like, we’re getting champagne. Because seriously, with the amount of money we’re getting in, we could bathe in champagne.”

Sources say Melania Трамп is planning to spend the donation money on a new shower that sprays Moët & Chandon, while her husband Donald will spend the money watching different kinds of showers get sprayed.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Putin hits back at sanctions bill by gutting US missions
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/30/politics/russia-us-diplomatic-missions/index.html

Trump Vote Fraud Commission Members Divided on Key Issue
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-vote-fraud-commission-hopelessly-divided-n785461

Secret donations are helping to boost President Trump’s agenda, fights with investigators
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/07/30/secret-donors-help-boost-trump-agenda-battles-investigators/516221001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.27

 

Utter jerkoff, popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп banned Transgender people from serving in the military unexpectedly yesterday.

The reason for the ban? A Missouri Republican lobbied the White House in recent weeks to remove the payment of hormone therapies and surgeries from Military health care.

Representative Vicky Hartzler (R-MO), who proposed an amendment on the defense authorization bill to ban the Pentagon from paying what Hartzler called “transition surgeries,” as well as hormone therapy, had been lobbying the White House for help to get her bill passed. Instead, Трамп decided unilaterally to just ban Transgender people completely.

“I mean, my bill was intended to hurt Transgender people, but not like THAT,” Hartzler reportedly said while asking people to confirm their gender with her before they went to the bathroom at a local Starbucks.

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Speaking of bigotry, one of the claims that Donald Трамп has made, along with Dolores Umbridge impersonator Representative Vicky Hartzler, is that paying for the medical expenses of Transgender people in the military is, ‘too expensive.’ But is that true?

According to Conservative Thinktank the Rand Institute, the cost for the military to pay for transgender medical care is somewhere between $2.4 million to $8.4 million a year. In comparison, one F-35 fighter costs $164,300,000. And the overall budget for the military this year is $696,000,000,000. Meaning this policy saves 0.000352941% of the overall military budget.

When informed of this news, Трамп told aides, “Hey, that’s not chump change, that’s probably enough money for something better, like having the Blue Angels fly over Mar-A-Lago while I’m golfing. Have you been to Mar-A-Lago? Seriously, you should go, the chicken scampi is fantastic. Just fantastic. You should try it.”

Yeah, anyway, Donald Трамп is dumb and is bad at finance and math.

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Y’know, getting slightly serious for a moment, as a reminder, every trip that Donald Трамп takes to go golfing costs (using very conservative estimates) $2 million per trip.

That means Трамп has spent at least $14 million in taxpayer money to go golfing. Which is just under twice the amount of $8.4 million that (at the highest possible estimate) medical care for Transgender military personnel would cost. Some estimates of Трамп’s trips to Mar-A-Lago are pegged at $3.9 million per trip.

If that’s true, American taxpayers have forked over $29 million to Трамп to play golf at his own private resort, which is 3 times the cost of the highest possible estimate of the cost for transgender military personnel’s medical care.

When informed of this news, Трамп told aides, “Have you guys had the chicken scampi at Mar-A-Lago. Let me tell you, it’s fantastic. I don’t eat it, that’s what my friend Jerry told me. He’s a great guy. Beautiful. He was a Boy Scout, his wife was a girl Scout, and they love it. And the meatloaf. I love the meatloaf. They don’t make it right at the White House. Meatloaf and cake. There’s a singer, did you know that there’s a singer named Meatloaf? That’s his real name! True fact. Keep it up, make america great again.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Conservatives lobbied White House on transgender policy but total ban wasn’t what they asked for
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/26/politics/congress-transgender-policy/index.html

Trump Claims Transgender Service Members Cost Too Much: But Is That True?http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-claims-transgender-service-members-cost-too-much-true-n786891

OnPolitics Today: Trump’s Mar-a-Lago trips cost more than trans soldiers’ health care
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/07/27/transgender-soldiers-cost-u-s-less-than-trumps-mar-a-lago-trips/515058001/

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