YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.02.12

Since an ex-US airman shot more than two dozen people in a Texas church in November, the US military has added more than 4,000 names to the nation’s list of dishonorably discharged military personnel banned from owning guns.

The Трамп regime is considering a repeal of the list if the people on it, “promise to only shoot immigrants we don’t like. You know who we mean!”

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Lawmakers in at least 20 states are wagering that sports gambling could become legal by summer and are crafting legislation to make that happen within their borders.

The rush of action stems from a pending case before the Supreme Court — Christie v. NCAA — under which New Jersey, through a suit filed by then-Gov. Chris Christie, is seeking to strike down a federal law that prevents the state from allowing gambling on sports.

So, for anyone wondering, yes America is turning into the nightmare version of Hill Valley from Back to the Future II.

No word yet if President Biff will require actor Lea Thompson to get a boob job.

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A suspected poacher in South Africa was mauled to death and almost completely eaten by a pack of lions.

“It seems the victim was poaching in the game park when he was attacked and killed by lions. They ate his body, nearly all of it, and just left his head and some remains,” police spokesman Moatshe Ngoepe said. Police are trying to establish the victim’s identity.

U.N. officials aren’t sure if this kind of instant karma will also spread to the United States.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

CNN exclusive: After Texas massacre, military rushed to add more than 4,000 to gun ban list
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/12/us/gun-background-check-backlog-military-dishonorable-discharge-invs/index.html

Cash-hungry states betting Supreme Court will legalize sports gambling
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/cash-hungry-states-betting-supreme-court-will-legalize-sports-gambling-n846676

Suspected poacher mauled to death, eaten by pack of lions in South Africa
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2018/02/12/suspected-poacher-mauled-death-eaten-pack-lions-south-africa/328580002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.02.02

STABLE_GENIUS_donald-trump.png
Very stable genius Donald Трамп’s top advisor suggested it was critical he release the memo.

Former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper on Friday called Republicans’ push to release a classified memo that alleges the FBI abused its surveillance authority a “blatant political act.”

“Transparency is a great thing, but let’s be factual and objective about it, and this clearly is a pretty blatant political act,” Clapper said on CNN’s “New Day.”

In response, the White House released a statement saying, “Oh yeah, YOUR MOM IS A BLATANT POLITICAL ACT!”

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Randall Margraves, the father of three girls who were molested by gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar charged at him during a sentencing hearing Friday. He was wrestled to the flood by sheriff’s deputies as he shouted, “Give me one minute with that bastard!”

When asked by a reporter later if his daughters would still be doing Gymnastics, Margraves responded by breaking a chair over the reporter’s head.

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The Dow tumbled 666 points Friday — its sixth-biggest point loss ever — and suffered its worst week in two years as investors turned skittish after Republicans released a controversial and now-declassified memo alleging that the FBI and Department of Justice abused their surveillance authority to target President Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

Donald Трамп responded to the news by ignoring it and flying to Mar-A-Lago for yet another tax-payer funded vacation at his private resort.

Aides say Трамп plans to spend the weekend working out how to blame the stock market plummet on President Obama.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders denied that Трамп would blame Obama, saying he intended to blame Hillary Clinton and the Deep State.

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I don’t believe in ideas about the Book of Revelations, and then my kid brain remembers from childhood Bible Study that 666 was the mark of the beast, and I’m like, “Hello God, are you there? It’s me, effdot.”

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Ex-DNI Clapper calls Nunes memo a ‘blatant political act’
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/02/politics/james-clapper-nunes-memo/index.html

Accusers’ dad Randall Margraves lunges at Larry Nassar in court
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/accusers-dad-charges-larry-nassar-during-sentencing-hearing-n844031

Dow plunges 666 points amid rate-hike fears after strong jobs report
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/markets/2018/02/02/dow-suffers-brief-300-point-drop-amid-rate-hike-fears-after-strong-jobs-report/300350002/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.01.30

Amidst a sea of scandals involving men who abuse women, and men turning away from the abuse heaped on women by their fellow men, comes a story about Hillary Clinton, because of course it does.

Hillary Clinton explained on Facebook that keeping a senior adviser on her 2008 campaign who was accused of sexual harassment was a mistake. She said she wouldn’t make the same decision today.

Pundits believe this statement will put to rest any notion that the media will treat Hillary Clinton and other women fairly, since this is literally happening at the same time that Donald Трамп has over 20 women actively accusing him of sexual harassment right now.

THERE’S NO PUNCHLINE HERE! THIS IS JUST WHAT HAPPENS NOW! CAPS LOCK! !@#!@#!

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Donald Трамп is telling friends and aides in private that things are going great for him, leading some pundits to wonder if he’s delusional.

As my neighbor Gary put it, yeah, things are great for Donald Трамп right now. “That dude is making money hand over fist. He’s free, nowhere near a prosecution or jail cell. His Jesus supporters are letting him coast on multiple counts of adultery. And most of the newspaper and TV people just kiss up to him and just pretend he’s bad news,” said Gary.

It’s unlikely Gary will be interviewed by anyone from CNN, The New York Times, the Washington Post, NBC News, Fox News, The Young Turks, because he’s an old black dude who gives a lot of side eye.

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Black Panther, starring Chadwick Boseman as African king T’Challa, had its world premiere on Monday night in Hollywood. Early reactions praised the Marvel film for celebrating black excellence at a level never seen before in the genre. A lot of people are predicting Black Panther will render audiences speechless.

For most audiences, that speechlessness will come from the sheer awesomeness of the movie.

White nationalists will likely be rendered speechless by the movie, too, because even those guys will know deep down that saying, “What about a WHITE Panther movie?” sounds stupid.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Clinton says she wouldn’t keep faith adviser if she ‘had to do it again’
https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/30/politics/hillary-clinton-sexual-harassment/index.html

The ‘state’ of Donald Trump? He thinks it couldn’t be better.
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/2018-state-of-the-union-address/state-donald-trump-he-thinks-it-couldn-t-be-better-n842501

‘Black Panther’ first reactions: It’s ‘astonishing,’ ‘iconic’ and ‘will save blockbusters’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2018/01/30/black-panther-first-reactions-declare-film-astonishing-iconic-and-save-blockbusters/1077768001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2018.01.27

Yet another Republican has resigned from their job with the Трамп regime, this time, RNC finance chair and casino mogul Steve Wynn. He resigned amid controversy over sexual misconduct allegations.

Pundits were astonished that it took him this long to resign, with one saying, “Who does Steve Wynn think he is, Donald Трамп?”

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To make amends for calling several African countries, “shithole nations,” Donald Трамп sent a In a letter to African regional leaders saying he, “deeply respects” the people of Africa.

Donald Трамп also expects people to believe his hair is real, so …

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Donald Трамп is preparing a State of the Union address designed to outline his vision of a, “safe, strong and proud,” United States, officials said.

This message will be delivered by emphasizing the need for America to be, “white, white and white.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Wynn resigns as RNC’s finance chairman
https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/27/politics/wynn-rnc-finance-chair-resigns/index.html

Trump says he ‘deeply respects’ African people in letter to leaders
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-says-he-deeply-respects-african-people-letter-leaders-n841596

‘Safe, strong and proud’ will be message of Trump’s first State of the Union, officials say
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/01/27/safe-strong-and-proud-message-trumps-first-state-union-officials-say/1070146001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.21

British Prime Minister Theresa May has fired UK Cabinet Minister Damian Green after he admitted lying over the presence of pornography on a computer in his parliamentary office.

Upon hearing the news, Donald Трамп announced that he wants to appoint Green to his new White House sexual harassment task-force.

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Attorney General Jeff Sessions ordered Justice Department prosecutors to ask FBI agents to reopen a dormant criminal investigation into a uranium deal that critics have linked to Hillary Clintons.

Reports say the FBI responded to the request by saying, “*sigh* okay, whatever.”

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Kohl’s and Toys R Us are staying open 24 hours a day until Christmas to cater to people who buy their gifts at the last-minute.

People who buy their gifts early rolled their eyes at the news, while everyone else rolled their eyes at the people who buy their gifts too early.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

British PM Theresa May fires closest political ally over porn scandal
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/20/europe/damian-green-resignation-uk-intl/index.html

Prosecutors ask FBI agents for info on Uranium One deal
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/prosecutors-ask-fbi-agents-info-uranium-one-deal-n831436

Kohl’s, Toys R Us to stay open around-the-clock until Christmas
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/nation-now/2017/12/21/kohls-toys-r-us-stay-open-around-clock-until-christmas/965081001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.12.14

White House senior adviser at the Department of Homeland Security Frank Wuco previously promoted conspiracy theories about former President Barack Obama’s birthplace, lamented the “Zimbabwe-fication of America,” and mocked the LGBT community. Wuco now leads a team tasked with helping to enforce Donald Трамп’s executive orders.

With this latest revelation, the White House is expected to release Frank Wuco from his job at the White House so he can instead become a Supreme Court Justice.

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A broad coalition of public officials, activists and content producers vowed to hit Control-Alt-Delete on the Federal Communications Commission’s vote Thursday to end “net neutrality” rules that are intended to make sure all internet traffic is treated equally.

In response, activists promise to NETWORK BUFFERING PLEASE PAY $599 TO CONTINUE THANK YOU FROM COMCAST.

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A study released Thursday revealed that sophisticated weapons the U.S. military secretly provided to Syrian rebels quickly fell into the hands of ISIS.

In response to this information, the White House plans to ban studies.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Homeland Security senior adviser promoted birtherism, said Obama knew ‘nothing about the black American experience’
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/14/politics/kfile-frank-wuco-on-the-radio/index.html

Net neutrality supporters vow lawsuits in resistance to FCC vote
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/internet/net-neutrality-supporters-vow-reboot-after-fcc-pulls-plug-n829916

The U.S. bought weapons for Syrian rebels — and some wound up in the hands of ISIS terrorists
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/12/14/u-s-bought-weapons-syrian-rebels-and-some-wound-up-hands-isis-terrorists/949209001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.19

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe gave a rambling televised speech to his country Sunday after receiving an ultimatum from his own party that said it would move to impeach him if he did not resign.

In related news, US President Donald Трамп literally gives a rambling televised speech every day in the United States, but there’s no sign that Republicans will move to impeach him.

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Award-winning playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda and thousands of supporters streamed from the U.S. Capitol to the Lincoln Memorial Sunday shouting “Puerto Rico Se Levanta” (Puerto Rico Is Rising) to protest how Congress and the Trump administration have handled the island’s nearly two-month-old hurricane recovery.

Reports on the scene say that the waitlist for getting into the protest was at least a year long, but that people had a good chance to get into the protest if they stood in will-call.

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The Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee voted 13-10 last week to approve a bill that would allow oil companies to drill in Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. The full bill can now go the Republican Senate for a vote.

Political reporters at the Senate say that they include a provision that requires oil companies to randomly beat at least 2 baby harbor seals to death per day in order to increase the likelihood that the bill will be approved by Donald Трамп.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Zimbabwe’s Mugabe vows to stay in power despite pressure to resign
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/19/africa/zimbabwe-mugabe-party-meeting/index.html

‘You are not forgotten’: Lin-Manuel Miranda, thousands march for Puerto Rico recovery help
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/puerto-rico-crisis/you-are-not-forgotten-lin-manuel-miranda-thousands-march-puerto-n821616

Congress moves to ‘drill, baby, drill’ in Alaska’s ANWR. Here’s what you should know
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/11/19/congress-moves-drill-baby-drill-alaska-anwr-refuge-heres-what-you-should-know/874187001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.14

According to a count maintained by The Washington Post’s Fact Checker and updated Tuesday morning, Donald Трамп has lied 1,628 times during his 298 days in office. That’s an average of 5.5 a day.

Donald Трамп responded to the story by planning to increase his daily lie count to at least “6 or 7.”

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The House Natural Resources Committee slammed Puerto Rican officials for awarding a no-bid energy contract to Whitefish Energy Holdings. Whitefish has ties to the Трамп regime.

“You guys are supposed to wait until news coverage is OVER before doing stuff like this!” one Congressman was heard to say before his microphone was hastily turned off.
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Robert Kehler, former commander of the United States Strategic Command, urged the Senate on Tuesday to proceed with caution when looking for ways to limit Donald Трамп’s authority to launch a nuclear attack.

“Conflicting signals can result in loss of confidence, confusion or paralysis in the operating forces at a critical moment,” said Kehler.

Democratic lawmakers responded by saying, “THAT’S WHY WE WANT TO LIMIT HIS POWER NO DUH!”

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Basically, there’s never a good reason to launch a nuclear war; the fact that we have Generals in the 21st century arguing about why we need that capability at all is just another sign of how crazy everything is right now.

Another sign is how many articles I’ve read this morning all about how to make that Cthurkey thing where you stuff crab legs into a perfectly good turkey.

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Donald Trump says something that isn’t true 5.5 times a day. Every day.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/14/politics/trump-fact-checker-1628/index.html

Congressional Committees Slam Puerto Rico Officials Over Controversial Energy Contract
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/puerto-rico-crisis/congressional-committees-slam-puerto-rico-officials-over-controversial-energy-contract-n820811

Retired general, others urge caution in limiting president’s power to order nuclear strike
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/11/14/trump-critic-bob-corker-lead-senate-hearing-presidents-powers-order-nuclear-attack/860142001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.11.10

Jerry Moore, brother of Alabama GOP Senate candidate and child molestor Roy Moore, said his brother is being persecuted just like Jesus Christ.

Breaking News: Jerry Moore called Jesus a Pedophile!

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Former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn was offered $15 million by Turkish officials to kidnap a Turkish political dissident hiding in the United States. The meeting happened a few weeks before Donald Трамп’s inauguration a few blocks from Donald Трамп Tower.

When asked about this, a spokesperson for the White House said, “Hey, for $15 million, I’d tell everyone state secrets like how Трамп’s hairpiece works.”

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Due to an issue with his immigration status, former world heavyweight champion boxer Mike Tyson was sent home from Chile.

After arriving home and disembarking from the plane, Mike Tyson was also denied entry to the airport Chilis.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Moore’s brother denies charges, compares persecution to Jesus
http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/10/politics/jerry-moore-martin-savidge-interview-roy-moore-sexual-misconduct/index.html

Mueller Probing Possible Deal Between Turks, Flynn During Presidential Transition
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/mueller-probing-possible-deal-between-turks-flynn-during-presidential-transition-n819616

Mike Tyson denied entry to Chile, sent home
https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/boxing/2017/11/10/mike-tyson-denied-entry-chile-sent-home/851684001/

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YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.10.13

Donald Трамп announced on Twitter that he’s ending a key set of Obamacare subsidies that helped lower-income enrollees pay for health care.

“The Democrats ObamaCare is imploding. Massive subsidy payments to their pet insurance companies has stopped. Dems should call me to fix!” he tweeted.

Several people reported the tweet as, “abusive or harmful to other people,” since kicking poor people off of health care would certainly harm them. When asked for a comment, Twitter said, “can’t talk now, we’re suspending women like actor Rose McGowan from the platform for talking about being raped.”

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An opinion piece by NBC News reporter Elizabeth Chuck noted that there’s very little to gain, but a lot to lose, when women report sexual harassment. Chuck cited a study that found 75 percent of women who spoke out about sexual harassment faced retaliation, like being punished for a minor infraction or being passed over for a promotion.

Ms. Chuck was later suspended from NBC News for mixing up paper and plastic in the recycling bin.

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Donald Трамп is ending the Iran nuclear agreement on Friday. After he formally announce his decision to end U.S. participation in the multinational agreement, he will also ask Congress not to re-impose economic sanctions right away.

Aides say that Трамп is hopeful he can make a deal on a new hotel in Tehran for his company prior to any further diplomatic efforts.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Trump will end health care cost-sharing subsidies
http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/12/politics/obamacare-subsidies/index.html

Weinstein Lesson: Lot to Lose, Little to Gain by Reporting Sex Harassment
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/weinstein-lesson-lot-lose-little-gain-reporting-sex-harassment-n810046

Trump to de-certify Iran nuclear deal
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/10/13/trump-de-certify-iran-nuclear-deal/760329001/

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